Gethin and his Girl-thing

Another peachy pearl of homespun wisdom from my Welsh cousin Gethin this morning – “All woman want it, they just need someone to show them how much…”
Priceless.
We’d been discussing the relative merits of internet relationships, after my cyber-girlfriend Melissa Rhyke (27) sent me an e-card reminding me that she loves me, despite having only contacted me once in the last two weeks.
It turns out that Gethin and I share an unexpected relationship background – he too is in possession of an international cyber-partner in a romantic sphere of reference.. Gethin’s cyber-love is called Freta and she lives in a dark corner of Thailand. She claims to be half-Dutch and half-Thai. Judging by her photographs and messages I’d say she is probably half-Cretin and half-man, but it was a dark photo; and maybe ‘her’ intelligence was lost in translation somewhat.
Gethin says he is saving up to go and visit her. He’s working extra shifts at the Drive-Thru to pay for his flight. He thinks they’re going to make love like two rabbits locked in a sackful of aphrodisiacs. I think he’s likely to be very disappointed, and very uncomfortable. Two weeks after he lands, we’ll be getting letters begging us to send him his air fare home and some Vaseline. He’ll be stuck in a hellish world of anal pain with a butch Asian sadist and no discernible end in sight.
And I’ll be laughing my fat, spotty arse off…
I might lend him fifty quid to help him get there.

RC 26-5-08
0900 BST