The
birthday celebrations continue... (that's probably why I haven't 'filled you
in' on what happened on the day itself - it's become a bit of an ongoing affair).
We're on our way to North Norfolk to stay with some old friends. They decided
that January was a bit quiet and gloomy, and they wanted something to look
forward to after all the December festivities, so they're using the anniversary
of my birth as an excuse to have a gathering. Actually, that's a bit cynical
and unfair, what I should say is, 'they like me and value me as a friend and
don't see me as often as they'd like to so they're spoiling me on the occasion
of my birthday'. (but I still think my first description is the accurate one).
It
should be lovely. And I'm sure you'll know that I don't always look forward to
events like these, especially if they're centred on me. But I'm really excited,
and really honoured that they're doing it. Both my sisters will be there this
evening too, which will be wonderful, and then tomorrow we're popping to see
Ted and Beryl, so I really am getting to spend birthday time with my very
favourite people. I haven't really kept you up to date with all that's happened
with Ted and Beryl, but they're both very old now, and nowhere near as spry or
sprightly as they used to be. Every time I see them, I genuinely wonder whether
it's the last time I'll see them, which is horrible, but only human, I think.
They are the closest thing I've ever had to decent, loving parents or
grandparents and it's so painful to see them deteriorate, and as much as I love
my Suffolk life, there's a part of me that wishes we lived closer so I could
see them more, and be more helpful.
Anyway,
on a less melancholy note, I think the reason I'm so enthusiastic about this
weekend is that it's MY kind of celebration. All those years of my birthday
being a heavy-drinking, over-socialising, out-and-about, DOING SOMETHING kind
of shindig was just me doing what I felt I 'should' be doing. As if there was
an unwritten manual somewhere that we all had to follow. '25 today? THIS is how
you do it...'
Now
I'm a bit older, and more settled, and more self-aware, I know what I want to
do to be happier, and I know it's ok to do that. Doesn't matter what others
think, or what I 'should' be doing, it's about what I WANT to be doing. And I
want to be doing this...
And
it also has to be said - there is something very special about spending your
birthday with your own children. It's yet another glorious gift of parenthood,
and that outweighs and overwhelms anything I used to experience with a crowd of
'friends' around me. And that's what I've got this weekend!
So maybe Douglas Adams was right - 42 feels like a
pretty cool place to be, to me.
RC 24-1-26
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