A very weird thing has happened. I am feeling
content at work. And not just in a 'today is going well' kind of way, but in a
'genuinely, when I look at this as a possible long-term career, I feel kind of
happy about it' kind of way. And that has really taken me by surprise. I'm
sitting here in my little office, I'm very proud of myself for the way I have
taken this role on and made of it what I have over the past couple of years,
and I am surprisingly excited by the thought of just being able to keep on
doing it, for as long as I'm lucky enough to have it. This is a new sensation
for me. I've always been a guy who is looking for the greener grass or finding
the negatives in things or just generally feeling unhappy and demoralised, and
here I am feeling pretty privileged to be where I am, and genuinely feeling
that if being a manager here took me all the way through to retirement, that
would be ok.
Weird, but welcome.
And I know this is coming less than a fortnight after I told you that Philippa
and I are considering ripping up our home life and moving the family abroad,
and I know it's coming in January, which is a typical month for reflection and
depression and wild-eyed schemes, and I know I've just had a birthday, and that
does weird things to a man's psyche when you get to my age, but still... I've
been thinking about it, and meditating on it, and giving it some serious
consideration, and I have to say that I am very much content. I'll continue to
look for ways to improve things, and we'll continue looking at our little plan
to travel away as a family, but I can honestly say that if nothing comes of
that, and the next few years sees us staying in our little Suffolk home, and
continuing as we are, that would be perfectly acceptable too. And I feel very
blessed to be able to say that.
RC 23-1-26
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