I’m not sure what I ate yesterday that has disagreed with me, but this morning I rather feel like someone has lit a bonfire in my bowels. Normally, digestion happens without us being aware of it, but today I can actually feel stuff moving through my lower intestine, and every bit of it feels like broken glass. I should probably speak to a doctor, but I’m a British man in his thirties so obviously that won’t happen. I’ll suffer in silence, expect it to get better on its own, refuse to ‘bother the medical profession with my insignificant ailments’ and then moan like hell when it worsens.
I just did something I normally never do, and normally criticise other people for doing, and I’ve used an online ‘symptom checker’ to try and ascertain what the problem is. I was honest about my age, gender and typical daily diet, and it has come up with a list of possible causes including prostitis, ulcerative colitis and a perforated colon.
Then I did a fart that sounded like a hippo exploding underwater, and suddenly I don’t feel so bad.
RC 17-8-20
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