Here we go again..

Hannah has a new boyfriend. I think that’s the sixth this year. One day I will have to sit her down and point out the difference between ‘boyfriend’ and ‘shagpiece.’ Unusually for Hannah, she seems to have found someone quite pleasant. He dresses well, appears to be free of tattoos, and was able to have a fairly coherent conversation with me without sniffing, scratching his balls or lighting a suspiciously fruity roll-up. Another plus point is that he’s called Nathan. Most of Hannah’s conquests have nicknames that make them sound like rapists, or are named after some kind of insect. I think he may have said his full name is Nathaniel but I may have mis-heard as I wasn’t really paying attention. I have this automatic switch-off device that kicks in when I’m meeting my sister’s bedfriends. There’s normally only a token five-minute ‘get-to-know-you-briefly’ chat before they disappear upstairs and I have to hear them rutting for the next two hours or so. With the benefit of experience, I find it best not to get too heavily involved with them. If only Hannah could say the same thing.

Hey, maybe I’m just jealous. My only sexual encounters seem to be sympathy shags from fat girls and one-night stands with very drunk women who wake up beside me and look horrified.

RC 23-10-09