new year, new start

My daily musings seem to have taken on epic status.. I’ve decided to get back to my original plan – no more than 250 words daily, and try not to let it sound like the diary of a teenage schoolgirl. With that in mind – I present for your delight a list I wrote to amuse myself between 4.16 and 5.57am this morning.. I call it..

People I would like to see exiled…

Jamie Oliver
Anyone who calls Macbeth “the Scottish play”
All employees of companies who use the word BESPOKE in their advertising
Journalists
My neighbour
My mother (the further away the better)
Victoria Coren
Victoria Beckham (preferably to another planet)
Vanessa Feltz
Richard Bacon
Women who drive 4x4s in Norfolk (badly)
Farmers
Pharmacists
Pharmaceutical chemists
That bastard dentist who filled the wrong tooth when I was eleven
Mr Blobby
Mr Barry, my PE teacher from High School
All bullies everywhere
People who cheat on internet poker sites
Bill Gates
My ex-cyber girlfriend Melissa and her bunny-abusing wanky scientist boyfriend
Madonna
Guy Richie
Anyone who ever appeared in a Guy Richie film
..or went to see one
..or started talking in a mock-Cockney accent after ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’ was released
Jasper Carrott
Michael Jackson
Kerry Katona
Ulrika Jonsson
..and the other talentless, vacuous bints who sell their tampons to the papers, and have sex with the wrong people just to get themselves a headline.

And that, by fair means or foul, makes this blog entry 250 words EXACTLY..

RC 10-1-08
2120 GMT