Tuesday, 14 April 2026

lifelong wounds

April is already half over. I'm not gonna dwell on that, except to say, "Time, huh?"

Mathew has gone back to school with the enthusiasm of a turkey being asked to walk itself into the Bernard Matthews factory. I think he enjoyed his time at home during Easter and he's finding it hard to go back to the normal routine. I can't blame him. I remember myself how joyous it is to have the whole day long to do whatever you wanted, then being forced back into the classroom and realising that by the time you get let out again, you'll be too fatigued to enjoy the evening at home. You have a catalogue of fun things to do with your time, but you're not allowed the freedom to indulge in them. And it's worse at this time of year, in a way, because the day feels so much longer, but you lose so much of it to your studies.
Is that any different to being at work though?
Most people are still on that conveyor belt of dragging themselves out of bed to sit in traffic to reach a job that sucks their soul out of their bodies, returning to a home they can't afford without the job they hate, to waste their evenings recovering from the horrors of the working day. Then rinse and repeat. When you're 7, or 10, it's lessons, rules and homework; when you're an adult it's shifts, rules and exhaustion. The location may be different, but the mental state is the same.
I guess the whole purpose of the education system is to institutionalise you into a certain kind of life, and to brainwash you into thinking that that's your only option.

On a lighter note - I've given up trying to learn card tricks or cardistry in favour of just admiring the people who can already do it. There are thousands of clips online, and I've decided that I'd rather spend hours enjoying the skills of those who have already dedicated years of their time to getting good at it, than spend years trying to get that good myself.

RC 14-4-26

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