Work
feels very different this year. I think it's because it's my third time around with
it and so I'm finally feeling comfortable and confident and realising that I
know what I'm doing. I feel a slight twinge of fear saying that, in case it
somehow upsets the Universe, which will now promptly send me something very
difficult to deal with as a way of punishing me for speaking so foolishly, but
if someone else said that I'd call them a twat and tell them to ignore that
silly negative voice and go on enjoying themselves, so...
Anyway,
my point is that I am enjoying my work life at the moment. I was anticipating
complications and tiredness and confusion once it got busy again, but I've
fallen back into the old routine, which normally I would hate saying, but in
this circumstance it is welcome and warming and wonderful.
It does help having Gavin around again. I'm not saying the place doesn't run
right without him, but when he was away he was constantly messaging people to
check on them, and that put extra pressure on everyone and put the collective stress
levels through the ceiling. I think, in his heart, this is his home and he
wants to stay here. He has just somehow convinced himself that he wants to
replicate this set-up in other parts of the country, and that he is the only
person who can make it work. So he still plans to leave others in charge in
East Anglia while he expands the empire into the South-West, whereas it might
be argued that it would make more sense to let someone else set the new stuff
up how they want it to run, leaving him to continue with his successful stance
in Suffolk, because otherwise he's got to wait for someone else to get up to
speed with exactly how he likes things to be here.
Jesus, did any of that make any sense???
Anyway,
the point is - I am content at work, I am content at home. Philippa is in a
good frame of mind and positive about the future, and both our sons are doing well.
I never really expected my life to ever be this delightful, but it is. And I am
extremely grateful. (to the point of not making sense when I try to describe
it...)
RC 29-5-23
2030 BST
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