Dunking and Doubting

Yesterday’s blog got hijacked by a phone call that I really couldn’t avoid answering. There was a point to the whole ‘cold water swimming’ line of thinking, but I forgot it completely while talking on the phone. I tried to find it again somewhere in my subconscious throughout last night, but it’s gone. So yesterday’s blog will have to remain as a scant, unfinished little nugget of incomplete wisdom; a snippet of Roryhood, if you will.

Work has been hard. Taxing. I still feel as if I need months of mentoring but things are so busy now that I just have to get on with the job and try to find my feet as I go. I’m stumbling along like a blind man in a changing maze but I’m doing my best and every so often something happens that makes me feel like I might eventually be a success at this.
In down moments, I find myself foolishly looking back to my previous employment with a longing sense of wistfulness, which is ludicrous because I couldn’t stand being there towards the end. But at least, I tell myself, I had been there for a few years so I knew what I was doing with the basics, so most of what I did was routine to me, and anytime something unusual happened I was well equipped to deal with it, whereas now I am drowning in unfamiliar waters.
One has to wonder, in those moments, why I went from an ultra-busy supermarket environment to an ultra-busy holiday centre, rather than finding something simple, calm and relaxing.

RC 28-4-21