Bright Blue Skies

I’ve cheered up a lot today. Maybe because the weather has been more Spring-like (my mood always lifts when the cloud cover buggers off for a while) and maybe because I slept really well last night.  No son-related disturbances, no insomnia-caused spells of wakefulness. Just a relaxed, quiet, contented seven-or-so hours of blissful sleep, interrupted only by a weird dream in which Nathan (my sister Hannah’s beau) was cleaning our windows with a sponge, dressed in his full vicar’s regalia, and fell off the ladder, landing on my car and breaking both he and it.

Workwise, I still feel like a fish out of water. I’m slowly learning what I need to learn, and I’m enjoying the process immensely, but it does sometimes feel like I’m climbing uphill through a pool full of wet sand while carrying a backpack full of Pepsi. Possibly with my feet tied together. For every moment where I think I’ve done something well, there are a dozen where I think I’ve done something incredibly daft or naïve. But I suppose that’s the nature of a new job, isn’t it? Takes a while to learn enough to feel comfortable, and while you wait to reach that point, you’re always going to feel a bit lost and indecisive and unsure of yourself. That means you’re constantly on edge and unrelaxed in case you make a mistake, and that is really tiring, mentally.

Maybe that’s why I slept so well last night….

RC 15-4-21