I woke up this morning with a very odd feeling that I couldn’t quite place. A mixture of unease, irritation and uncertainty. I had a shower and I ate some food and I talked to my wife and then I suddenly realised what it was. I was looking forward to going to work!!
This is something that hasn’t happened to me for so long that I had forgotten what it feels like.
I think the hangover from the old job will take a long time to recover from. I was so unhappy there for so long, and I kept dragging myself in and putting myself through it, that I still feel unhappy about it now, even though I’ve left. I think a big part of that is an awakening ‘why the Hell didn’t I leave sooner?’ voice that might just be my self-respect and self-caring side re-emerging after years of being buried beneath the crushing weight of dissatisfaction. I had only stayed there out of habit, and because it was conveniently close, and because it was quite good money. All acceptable reasons, I guess, but the longer you stay somewhere just because it’s nearby, the more entrenched you become and the less likely you become to do what’s best for your psyche and resign.
Thankfully, that’s all done now, and I can step
forward confidently and with a sense of enjoyment. Man, that’s gonna take some
getting used to!
RC 15-3-21
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