Bored at work (well – lots to do but struggling with
enthusiasm) I have decided to cast my tired eyes upon my Balls of Crystal
Clarity and make a few predictions about how 2021 might unfold…
FEBRUARY – Donald Trump declares himself ‘Valentine for Life’ and insists he is allowed to kiss anyone he wants to.
MARCH – The change to British Summer Time is postponed until August.
APRIL - A new variant of Covid is discovered in Malaysia. It’s not very infectious but can turn your ears orange.
MAY – Adele announces she is pregnant with David Attenborough’s baby.
JUNE – Britain has its hottest day on record.
JULY – Torrential rain causes flooding in at least 40 counties.
AUGUST – Donald Trump announces his intention to be the next Pope.
SEPTEMBER – Schools return to full opening. Pupils take bets on how long it will last.
OCTOBER – ‘Trick or Treat’ officially replaced by new tradition ‘Cough or Candy’.
NOVEMBER – From his prison cell, Donald Trump urges his supporters to bomb the Houses of Parliament. “I actually AM Guy Fawkes,” he insists.
DECEMBER – Lockdown Christmas 2.
RC 13-1-20
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