You ignorant turd

My urges to wipe certain humans off the face of the planet grow stronger with each passing day. This coronavirus fear has got beyond ridiculous. We’ve had a fight in the supermarket over a tin of tomatoes, we’ve had toilet rolls stolen from a pallet while being unloaded at 4am, and we have people panic-buying petrol. This morning, an elderly gentleman brought in his Citroen Picasso for the FIFTH day running. Topping it up cost him just over three quid. I asked him why he was popping in every day and he said, “The country could be at a standstill within two weeks. I need to make sure I’ve got fuel before it stops being delivered.”  I said, “With respect, though. If the country is in lockdown and we’re all quarantined, you won’t be allowed to go anywhere, so why would you need the petrol?” His reasoned response was to throw his cash across the counter and tell me he’d be buying elsewhere from now on.

In another comical encounter, I asked someone else why they were wearing a B&Q DUST MASK while filling their Saab. “It was on the news this morning. 80% of British people will get it. I want to be one of the 20%.”

Ignoring the obvious point that wearing a DIY mask was about as much protection as a soggy sock, I asked him where this 80% number had come from.

“Government spokesman. Official numbers.”

I said “Not being argumentative, but this virus was running unchecked and unidentified in China for months, and only 100,000 people have had it there. That’s 100,000 people out of a population of 1 billion, which works out at 0.01%. We were aware of it before it even got here, and it’s containable. So, with respect, where the Hell has the 80% come from?”

He blinked and said, “Why would the government lie to us?”

And that was the point that I officially gave up on humanity.

RC 11-3-20