Arse like a war zone

If you asked me to list my worst ever experiences in a toilet, then this morning would be in the Top 5. 
The rumour about Elvis Presley is that he was constipated due to his diet, and strained so hard to get a poo out that his heart gave out where he sat. I’ve never believed that was possible until today. 
It was like trying to force out a tennis ball through a small tube coated with Velcro. 
I think I need to eat more fibre. 

RC 15-1-17