The unpleasant cycle of bacterial life

Philippa has succumbed to the bug. 

I want to be sympathetic and care for her and stay by her side while she’s poorly, but I won’t, because a) when I was ill earlier this week she just buggered off to work, and b) the smell of someone else’s excrement is infinitely worse than the smell of your own. Every time she goes to the bathroom (which is often) it’s like a cloud of toxic ditch gas has been pumped into the house through a sewer pipe. 
So I’m off to work for the day, and I may volunteer to stay on late and do overtime. It’ll show I’m willing to make up for the lost time earlier this week, which will keep things sweet with those above me, and it’ll help me avoid the house while my beloved is in the throes of her misfortune.  Nothing says ‘married life’ like keeping out of your spouses way while they’re heaving. 

RC 4-6-16