An eye for an I

Well I had my eye test today.
The good news is that I now know why I’ve been getting headaches.
The bad news is I now have to invest in a pair of glasses.
Christ, this makes me feel old.

I spent 45 minutes at the sodding opticians. I hope I wasn’t paying by the minute. Honestly - how long do they need to find out what is wrong with your vision? All the tests they do seem to be designed to find out the same thing, so do we really need to do them all? I think they’re just torturing bastards who take pleasure from inflicting discomfort on people. I bet most of them worked at Guantanamo Bay for five years and then got kicked out for being too cruel and came to Suffolk to work at The Eye Clinic. I tell you, if the girl sorting me out didn’t have a nice rack I’d have walked out halfway through. Why - exactly - is it necessary to fire a blast of hot air directly at your pupil? THREE TIMES?????
Bastards.
Anyway, the end result of it all was finding out that I have a slight stigmatism in both eyes. This made me panic somewhat thinking that my eyes are bleeding into my head and that’s why I keep having brain pain, but apparently not. 
She said “You must have noticed the problem before you got the headaches. When you’re driving I doubt you can see cars that are more than twenty feet in front of you”
To be honest I can’t see my own car when I’m about to get into it, but I didn’t dare tell her that.

Christ, I feel old.

RC 7-3-15