Feb fibs

I’ve decided to start this month by blogging a list of lies:

My real name is Cuthbert Chesterton
I am 83-years-old
When I was 14 I lost both my kidneys in a cycling accident
When I was 45 they miraculously grew back
I exist on a diet of nothing but corned beef and mustard
I am 17th in line to the throne of Denmark
Delia Smith stole all my recipes and made a fortune from them
My vomit is sold as a perfume in Poland
I am not drunk

RC 1-2-14