Philippa is out ‘with the girls’ tonight for a birthday meal. You can tell this, because after she left I had to open every window and put on a fan for an hour to get rid of the cloud of hairspray. She went out looking more tarted up than a 16-year-old virgin desperate to get laid in a nightclub, even though she’s only out with 11 other women, and they’re going to an expensive restaurant. The only nearby men will be the barman and the chef.
It just proves to me once again that my theory is correct - women don’t wear make-up for men, they wear it for other women. They don’t wear it to look more beautiful and attract men folk, they wear it to avoid the criticism and torment they would encounter from The Sisterhood if they dared to step outside looking natural. Men don’t give a shit what you’ve got on your face as long as they end up in bed with you, but go on the town without your slap on and your girlfriends will tear you to pieces.
There. Learn from me, and be thankful.
RC 14-7-12
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