Football fancy

There was a weird moment during the World Cup game at Ted’s last night. His son Simon brought round a couple of his mates from work, and at one point one of them said, in response to nothing except his own drunkenness, ‘If I had a gun at my head, and I was forced to admit it, the one man that could tempt me into bed would be Steven Gerrard.’ It was weird, but it brought forth lots of funny comments about ‘coming late from midfield’ and ‘bursting into the box,’ which would probably be funnier if I knew more about football. It did inspire me to write this little poem:

I have a problem that I’m finding quite hard
I’ve fallen in love with Steven Gerrard
I’m not scared of my feelings, but it’s becoming a joke
Coz basically, I’ve fallen in love with a bloke
It started, I think, in two thousand and three
When he scored a good goal in the Champions League.
The way that he dribbles, and shimmies and jinks
Makes me think, in the dark, he’s a dirty young minx

My ‘one man that would tempt me’, by the way, would be Viggo Mortensen, or to be more accurate his character in the Lord Of The Rings films. He’s so dreamy. Strong, yet sensitive. Capable of acts of vengeance and power, but also capable of love and affection. And imagine running your fingers through that silky black hair……
I have to stop this now.

RC 13-6-10