Bonfire Night comes early

Some little shit set fire to our front door last night. Apparently it’s an old Halloween favourite in some parts – spraying lighter fluid all over people’s property and then throwing a burning rag at it. Typical of our local twats to do it two days late. The usual thing to do is knock on the door just before you ignite it, so that the unsuspecting resident opens the door to be greeted by flames, but our local hooligans are so thick they didn’t even think of doing that. They just lit it and ran. The first we knew of it was the sound of one of our neighbours beating it out with a wet coat. He’d noticed the flames while out with his kids trick-or-treating and thankfully knew what to do. The imbeciles responsible weren’t sensible enough to do the job properly so there wasn’t much damage. I’ll be on the phone to the insurance company later, assuming we actually have some insurance. I must admit it’s one of the things I didn’t think to check when mother pissed off. Mind you, we rent, so I think it’s the responsibility of the landlord. But I’m not sure who that is. Oh well – someone’s gonna get a phone call. And if I find out who set fire to our door I’m gonna nail them to a Catherine Wheel and throw darts at them while they spin and burn.

RC 3-11-09