Cars, and ma's

Ted has offered to help me with my driving tuition. I thought he meant financially, but it turns out he spent part of his time in the Army as an instructor, so he’s gonna come out with me ‘on the road’ and give me a few pointers. A few things pop into my head that prevent me getting too excited.
Number 1 – neither he nor I have a car we can actually go out in.
Number 2 – in his Army days he was an instructor in tanks, not cars
Number 3 – we nearly end up in fisticuffs when he’s trying to teach me cribbage.
I think I’ll stick to my original plan and go with whoever’s cheap in Yellow Pages.

Hannah tells me she sent our mother a card for Mother’s Day. It was a folded piece of black card with ‘Please Don’t Ever Come Back’ written on it in silver. Touching, I thought. The whole Mother’s Day event hadn’t registered on my radar, which is a nice reminder of how little I think about the old soak now she’s gone. When I explained the situation to Donna, she said ‘Do you think you’ll ever miss her?’
My answer was that there are numerous other things I would miss before I ever started missing my mother. Such as my milk teeth.. being bullied at school.. IBS.. doing a paper round in the dark.. having wet dreams while asleep on the school bus.. knits..
Yeah, mums pretty far down the list, to be honest.

RC 25-3-09
0750 GMT