reflections on a lawn

Our garden is beginning to look like a Lithuanians chest hair.
Mum may have been a useless bitch, but she did have one redeeming, albeit unpleasant, habit – if something needed doing around the house, she’d find someone to sleep with who could do it when they woke up. I’m not sure how the arrangement worked. It may have been a simple form of prostitution – “Promise to fix the gutters and I’ll let you roll atop me til you’re empty” – or it may have just been (forgive me) tit for tat.. I suspect she got them so loaded they would have nailed a giraffe, then in the morning she’d say “Do what needs doing or I tell all your mates that you shagged me”
Whatever her surprisingly successful scheme was, it got us an extension built, some shingle lain, and four new panes of glass for the greenhouse. Now we’ve gone back to paying, or just ignore it.
I’ve got back onto Social Service to see if we’re entitled to any help. I think they’re getting fed up with me now. I’m only trying to get us what we’re allowed to have, it’s not as if I’m claiming for everything. Admittedly, asking for a hand-out for a Sky dish may have been stretching credibility, but surely we can’t have potentially dangerous weeds growing outside if there’s a benefit fund to remove them?
I researched online and send over the info to our ‘case worker.’ She sent back an e-mail saying ‘Out of the office until Monday’
This country’s going to the dogs..

RC 3-9-08
2230 BST