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I have an interview on Thursday. I’m terrified. I’m 24 years old and I’ve never had a job in my life. What the hell do you do in an interview? Dress smart and look interesting? Respond with wit and show them how much fun you’d be to work with? Offer yourself up as the meat in a sandwich for the boss and his secretary?
My main worry is what to wear. I’m assuming smart is the way forward, but all my smart clothes have been put into the ‘What To Wear When I Lose Weight’ box, (also known as the ‘When Hell Freezes Over’ collection..) I only have one pair of trousers that fit me. They’re jogging bottoms with a waist size of 42, which were six pounds fifty from the Cheapo Store in the High Street. I had to fight the pregnant women and fatties to get myself a pair in blue. It might be appropriate to wear the slacks from the Cheapo store actually, as that’s where the interview is. I figure I have to start somewhere, and minimum-wage-plus-commission to run the cheapest Menswear department in Norfolk seems as good a place as any. Not the greatest use of a chemistry degree, I grant you, but money in is money in, and think of the brie I could buy with my wages… Plus, if someone in the house is working, we’re entitled to even more benefits, so that’s a motivation in itself. The System is a weird and wonderful thing, and if it’s going to be that stupid, I for one intend to abuse it whole-heartedly.
Ciao..

RC 8-9-08
2210 BST