A-Z Of My Favourite Foods, Part 2

N is for Nipples. Not a great food stuff in themselves, but the best damn thing to eat something off. Especially custard.
O is for Octopus. I only ever tried it once – at a University Culinary Challenge night. It was awful, and I was sick for three days, but I won first prize, three hundred pints at the bar, and kudos you couldn’t buy with a fortune.
P is for Plaice and Chips. Deep-fried. Soaked in batter. With scraps. Heaven in a Heart Attack.
Q is for Quails eggs. Like expensive snot in a bubble. And lovely..
R is for radicchio. The Michael Schumacher of lettuce.
S is for samphire. If you’ve never had seaweed soaked in garlic butter – get yourself up to Norfolk and try some.
T is for Titwank. Sorry, I’ve gone off track a bit there.. I’ll try again..
T is for Toasted Cheese Sandwiches. Ideally at three a.m. in a caravan, on the back of a Chinese takeaway and a bottle of Jim Beam
U is for Upchuck.. If you’re not doing it at the end of the meal, you just haven’t eaten enough yet..
V is for Venison. Great in a pie, great in a stew, and great to tell the kids “YOU’VE JUST EATEN RUDOLPH!!”
W is for waffles. Potato ones with eggs on.. sweet ones with golden syrup on.. or stuck to the wall of the bedroom to use as soundproofing so you can’t hear mum and ‘Uncle’ Tom next door.. they truly are ‘waffly versatile’
X is for X-Tra Special. That’s what Sweaty Barry calls his Burger Van Sunday Best. My arteries are clogging just thinking about it..
Y is for yam. The only vegetable named after the noise you make while trying not to be sick.
Z is for zucchini. Because it’s the only one I can think of..

And no – I don’t understand what I meant under ‘R’ either…

RC 19-8-08
0941 BST