It's been so long...

My friends, I have neglected you.
I am so sorry to have been away, but a few things happened that put a large barrier between myself and my internet scribblings.
First, Mother was taken to hospital. She necked her first snifter of the day, but had grabbed a bottle of Dettol instead of a bottle of Drambuie and ended up having her stomach pumped. Silly cow. The doctors have told her she should lay off alcohol for a few months. She said she would. Mind you, she also said she only drank ‘wine at the weekend’ so God knows how long that will last. About the same amount of time that a kitten lasts in a kettle I should imagine.
A few days later, my Welsh cousin Gethin (who for some inextricable, unforgivable and infuriating reason is still here) thought it would be funny to put fridge magnets all over my computer and monitor. If you’ve never seen the effect that such items have on sensitive electrical equipment, I should try and find some photos, rather than experiment yourselves. It was two weeks before they delivered replacements.
Gethin has sworn to pay for the damage. But then, Gethin swears a lot. Roughly every third word in everyday conversation, by my reckoning. He also thinks Buddha is a type of cheese, and that Winston Churchill is not the Greatest Ever Englishman because ‘I bet he couldn’t score a penalty in the semis’
As someone once said in a King Dong movie – “what a dick”

RC 22-5-08
0930 BST