Insomnia strikes again

I came home from work utterly exhausted and seemingly seconds away from sleeping. Now, six hours later, I am still wide awake....
I don't know how this happens, or why, but I suppose the huge amounts of caffeinated drinks and leftover party sweets may have had something to do with it.
Thank God I have the NFL to amuse myself with. I know it's only Chargers vs Bears, but it's better than staring at the bedroom ceiling.
I think...

RC 30-10-23
0205 BST!

Rory Time

I felt really good this morning and couldn't work out why, then suddenly remembered that we changed the clocks last night so I'd had an hours sleep more than I realised. So maybe it was that.
It's normally quite a depressing day for me - the last Sunday in October - because it signals the onset of the much darker evenings, but I think I'm too busy or too tired, or both, to get down today. Or maybe I've just hit an age where I have resigned myself to these inevitabilities and just accept them. Or maybe I like the fact that Greenwich Mean Time is the proper time, rather than the artificial manufactured British Summer Time, so it all feels more natural now we're in GMT. But then - that's a load of bollocks too, because the whole concept of time is an artificial human construct and the way we structure our days has bugger all to do with natural rhythms and everything to do with trying to control the world while being controlled ourselves.
I think we should all choose our own time structure to work within. For me, I'd have Mondays only last an hour, and divide the extra hours equally between Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I think that means it would be about 4pm on a Saturday right now, but I can't be sure, and I really don't have the motivation to sit and work it all out, so I think the best thing for me to do right now is be grateful that I'm not depressed even though we changed the clocks, be mindful that I always survive Winter no matter how much I dread it every year, and get motivated to get my arse over to the ballroom where the afternoon festivities are about to kick in...

RC 29-10-23

Full-time Events Manager? No thanks!

This week has utterly exhausted me, and I've still got another big party to work my way through tomorrow! Thankfully, it's just the same as Friday's, so it should run itself pretty seamlessly (he said with fingers crossed, and probably using the wrong word...)
I have to say that it is lovely seeing the delight on children's faces when they manage to find our hidden pumpkins, or they manage to snag an apple off our washing line, or they see their design become a reality in a pumpkin carving session, or they meet our fun witch characters (thank you, local amateur dramatics group) or they win a fancy dress competition or when they learn a new dance (or one of the other multitude of activities we've been putting on for them in the past 10 days or so) but it is also very, very tiring to achieve that delight.
I'd like to say it'll all be over after tomorrow's fun-filled party day, but of course we still have families on site until the end of the week, and of course it's only 5 weeks or so until we start our Christmas activities and events...
I really have created a Hellscape for myself born of my own ideas....

RC 28-10-23

Gourds and gratitude

The week seems to be simultaneously flying by and dragging along like a lame horse. I can't quite believe it's Thursday already, even though it also feels like Saturday is a lifetime away. I suppose I could say the same thing about 2023 as a whole, but I've bored you enough over the years with my musings on time passing and how weird it is, so I'll shut up about that now.

I managed to find a local farmer who is happy to donate us 50 more large pumpkins, and is happy to deliver them today, and is happy to bring his tractor and trailer onsite, and is even happy to let the visiting children sit on the back of his trailer for some photos! I may have said unpleasant things about farmers in the past - often with good reason, to be fair - but Gerald of Moore's Farm is an absolute gentleman and I can't wait to meet him and shake him by the hand. And now we can let the families who were disappointed on Monday after we ran out of pumpkins come back in and have a go at the activity this afternoon.
Colette, the member of staff who I mentioned yesterday, was so happy to agree to run the workshop again, and then burst into tears when I told her we're going to find a way to keep her on right through the Winter. See, originally we had extended her zero hours contract to the end of this week, so we could have her here to help for Hallowe'en half-term. Then we were going to let her go until Easter next year, then bring her back to do the Children's Club again throughout the busier months. But she is just so damn good at what she does, and so damn good with children, that I don't want to risk her going off and finding 'a proper job' during the Winter that will mean we lose her. So I've managed to persuade Gavin to free up funds for a part-time position for the next six months or so, so we can keep her on staff. There's loads she can help out with, and we'll be doing special Christmas open days for the local folk to come in and enjoy, and she's perfect to be involved in those.
I told her this morning and I must be honest, I was worried she might turn us down, but she was so happy she was shaking. She said later that when I asked her to pop in and see me in my office, she thought I was going to fire her for not ordering enough pumpkins or something!
So, anyway, I have managed to manage someone in a good way, and made them very happy, and that doesn't happen often so I am very, very content right now.

RC 26-10-23

Clarifications and carving

Just to clear up a small matter arising from yesterday's blog posting - Yes, I said our big Hallowe'en Party is on Friday. And in previous years, it has been on the Sunday nearest the 31st (and actually on the 31st two years ago..) This year, I have gone a bit mad and doubled-up on everything. A lot of our bookings this October are Saturday to Saturday, so families here for their half-term break might have gone home already and miss out on the big date; so I've booked a party day for Friday, then another one for Sunday. The park won't be quite as busy, but there are different dates for half-term depending on where you go to school in this lovely country of ours, so we will still have a good number of visitors onsite, AND we're selling tickets to local families and even giving some freebies out to local schools and things like scout groups, so it'll be two big events in three days, each with a different crowd.
You can imagine how happy my staff are about that! Getting to do this madness on top of their usual duties...

Anyway, the week has started well. We have all sorts of themed activities going on every day, and the Pumpkin Carving Workshop this afternoon was ridiculously busy! We have a girl who helped out in our Children's Club in the Summer who we have kept on as a part-time employee, with a view to having her as a permanent member of staff for next Summer. I had asked her to plan and run the workshop today and she went above and beyond, and then some! She'd watched loads of YouTube tutorials and done some truly amazing, artistic, intricate designs to put on display. She kept it simple for the little ones, and printed off some nice stencil sheets for them to use, but it was lovely to see them getting into it and being creative.
But my God pumpkin innards leave a hell of a mess in a ballroom!

RC 23-10-23

Lay-ins and Lights

While I think of it - please remind me NOT to sit up all night Monday/Tuesday. The 49ers are live on Sky Sports again and I do NOT want to make the same mistake I made a couple of weeks ago. Thanks in advance for your help.

Been a lovely day today, tempered somewhat by the horrible late-Autumn feel to it all, and the depressing realisation that we change the clocks next weekend, so it'll be dark next Sunday by about 5pm.
Offsetting that, it will be a busier week at work as we'll be full of families again, celebrating half-term; and we'll have the 3rd Annual (I think) Rory Hallowe'en Extravaganza Party to look forward to. All is in place now, it's just a case of making sure everyone that we booked to come along has confirmed arrival times and then I can get on with the job of selling it to the few tourists onsite this week who hadn't already ordered their tickets when they booked their holidays in the first place.
A few extras this year - Crazy Golf with added ghosts and ghouls on the course, a 'Hidden Pumpkin' trail where children have to search for (guess what?) hidden pumpkins and win a big bag of sweets if they find them all, and we're going to do a 'Lantern Parade' after the big party on Friday. There's an activity in the afternoon where the children get to make their own lanterns, then we'll go for a character-led march around the whole site after it gets dark.
Yes, I stole the idea from an attraction in Norfolk, but we're putting our own twist on it, and anyway - none of our visitors will be driving Northwards to see that attraction anyway, so sod 'em.

RC 22-10-23

Unexpected

I had to deal with the Police today. Not something I'm overly familiar with, thankfully.
They rang early and said they needed to see the manager about a particular matter, so I invited them in for an early afternoon chat. Nothing to worry about, it turns out, just a little disagreement between two individuals, one of whom happened to work here over the Summer and who has claimed to have been working here on certain dates, by way of an alibi. I'm not allowed to say any more than that, and in fact I probably shouldn't even have told you that much, but I think I'm on safe ground. It's not as if The Powers That Be have the ability to monitor absolutely everything that absolutely everyone puts on the internet and it's not as if they would stoop so low as to keep all that stuff linked in files about each of us and have algorithms that would flag up anything that might incriminate us as being guilty of anything minor or major... So I think I'm ok.
Anyway, the point is that they were very pleasant to deal with and seemed to have a real grasp on the world around them and a real passion for providing the public with a service they could be proud of, so that gave me a nice feeling for the rest of the day.

RC 19-10-23

I like balls (occasionally)

I have to say that I am enjoying both the Rugby Union and ICC Cricket World Cups. The latter, especially, as I can have the radio coverage on in the background in my office while I'm typing away doing other things. There is something terrific about the BBC Radio cricket broadcasts. They really do seem to have found the perfect team and the perfect format and it's just delightful to listen to, whether you're a dedicated fan of the game or just a casual dipper-in-and-out like myself.
It's weird how I get interested in sports when it's a big event. I wouldn't normally give two figs for the rugby (or 'NFL Lite') but when the World Cup comes around, every few years or so, I do find myself getting a bit enthused. It's not a patriotic thing either, I think it's more to do with an admiration of elite sportsmanship. If you're watching every piffling little encounter for nine months of the year you're not going to see much in the way of top quality; but if you tune in for the ultimate tournament in the sport you're more likely to see the best of the best playing against the best of the best from other countries, and all presumably giving it their all in the pursuit of the biggest prize available to them. It's why I drop into sports during the Olympics that I then forget about for another four years. Table Tennis ain't exactly a riveting watch, let's be honest, but if there's a Gold Medal on the line I'll happily watch them jump around the table with a paddle in their hand for an hour or two.
Which reminds me - I must have a look at ticket availability for Paris 2024. It's not that far away now, both geographically and timewise.

RC 18-10-23

So nice...

I got to have my first experience of Philippa's newly acquired skills last night as she gave me a bit of a shoulder massage! I mean, we've massaged each other often before, but man it feels different when someone is getting properly trained and knows exactly what to press, and how!
I mentioned it at work today and someone in the office said, "Oh - you should get her to call the health club here, they're always on the lookout for new practitioners. She might be able to come and work here." I'm not sure how I would feel about that, but it's good to know it's an option! On her darker days, she is convincing herself that this will all fail to work out and she'll never get an appointment with anyone. And on my darker days, I will be thinking about the fact that my wife's hands are gently moving over the skin of other people's bodies, both male and female. I genuinely hadn't considered that aspect of this course until I started writing this blog entry, but now I have no doubt it will become a bit of an issue in my mind. Oh God - I'm going to have to be all grown-up about this aren't I? I'm going to have to accept the fact that my wife's new career path might involve her being in a darkened room for several hours a day while a procession of men and women file through, remove their clothing, and get touched by her. With oil.
Man, I wish I hadn't taken myself down this road now, so let's change the subject....
I watched "Network" at the weekend, and I had forgotten just how wonderful a film it is! Funny, full of outstanding acting, possessing possibly the finest script ever written for any film ever, and so, so prescient! The understanding of just where the world of news media was heading is unbelievable when you think this was made nearly 50 years ago. It is so, so apt to today. I can't remember who wrote it, but they should be known as 'The Arthur C. Clarke of the Film World' because man did they predict what was on the way.
My only complaint about the film (and it's not really about the film, it's about the industry) is that William Holden should have won Best Actor, not Peter Finch.

RC 17-10-23

Rory. Is. Back.

I am feeling completely re-energised this morning! Full of life, optimistic, confident in my own abilities and looking forward to another week of work-based challenges. It might be that I am simply feeling better after a recent spell of illness post-Covid, but I think it's more than that. Anyone with their own experience of mental health issues will know that sometimes you can snap out of a bout of depression even quicker than you fell into it, and the difference in your levels of energy and enthusiasm can be quite startling when it happens. So I'm pretty sure I had got myself in a rather low mood, and a nice Sunday at home and a good night's sleep have put me back on the straight and narrow and got my head back in the game. It probably helped that I DIDN'T sit up overnight watching an NFL game, like last week. I just don't think I can handle those all-nighters anymore. I'm nearly 40 (very nearly!) and I have a baby in the house who doesn't make it a habit yet of sleeping throughout the dark hours; the last thing I need to be doing is missing a chance to sleep just so I can watch overweight Americans run around on a sports field.

RC 16-10-23

Time is of the offence

I'm still tired, but I've made it through another week. I'm in tomorrow, but it's all about Hallowe'en preparations so I won't have to deal with the public. Which is a good thing, because I'm not feeling particularly customer-friendly at the moment.I'm not bothered about the fact that today is a day of 'superstition', but it always makes me smile to myself when I get a chance to make up a few facts about something, so... for possibly the fourth or fifth time since I started writing this blog... I present for you:
13 Bullshit Facts About Friday the 13th.

 1. Jesus was crucified on Friday 13th August AD37. That's why it's seen as unlucky.

 2. His last words - misquoted in the Bible - were "Shit. And we'd only just put the clocks forward. Now I'll miss the sunny evenings."

 3. William Shakespeare handed in the final draft of 'Romeo and Juliet' on Friday 13th May 1601.

 4. It had changed dramatically (pardon the pun) since the first draft, in which the star-crossed lovers ended the play by going off together for a holiday in Morocco.

 5. Ghosts are far more likely to appear on Friday 13th than any other day in a month.

 6. Apart from Saturday 6th. That seems to bring them out in droves.

 7. This blog was launched on Friday 13th September 1967.

 8. I was also born on Friday the 13th. But because my parents were worried about curses and things, they registered my birth as a week later, on the 20th.

 9. "Friday the 13th" was the name of the Best In Show winner at Crufts in 1929. It was a bearded sheepdog.

10. It was also the name of the Grand National winning horse in 1963, when by a strange coincidence the race was run on Friday 13th April.

11. Friday 13th November 2088 will actually fall on a Saturday.

12. There can never be a full moon and a Friday the 13th in the same calendar month.

13. The real correct English spelling of the phrase should be 'Fryday the Thyrteenth'. We get it wrong because we're morons. And something that happened with the French ambassador in 1711. Not sure what that was as the records were all destroyed in a fire.

 

Not my greatest blog ever but a fun one to work on and I'm smiling again.

RC 13-10-23

midweek/midlife revelation

It has been suggested to me that my recent confusions about life and general tiredness and bout of depression might be down to the fact that I have a big birthday coming up in 3 months-time... I would like to say that is absolute crap, but there may be something in it. I thought it wasn't an issue but as we've headed into October I must admit it has made its way to the forefront of my mind. And people keep going on about it. Beryl has phoned four times in two weeks to see if I will let her throw a big party. Work people are telling me to arrange something that involves all the staff, and my sisters are hassling me to book a venue before all the decent ones are taken.
The thing is, I'm not really sure I want to do anything. Is turning 40 really such a big deal? Most people seem to find it a really depressing milestone to reach, and it does seem to be weighing on me a little, so why would I consider celebrating it? Why would I give it more importance than it needs, or already has? I think I'd rather just have a nice day with my wife and sons, or maybe a little holiday somewhere for a few days, rather than some kind of big blow-out where I'm surrounded by people I'm not particularly pleased to be around, and where I'd hate being the centre of attention. I might suggest that to Philippa, actually - let's put the 'party money' into a 'vacation fund' and take the boys to Legoland, or something similar. If we get that booked, then we don't have to plan anything else closer to home for around January 20th. Then we can tell everyone else to stop asking me about it, and I can stop thinking about it, and maybe I can enjoy the last few remaining weeks of my 30s in peace.

RC 12-10-23

delayed reaction to sleep deficit

See - the mistake I made was NOT reading the TV schedule properly. I got the boys settled in bed, I got myself all settled on the sofa with a drink and an array of snacks, and THEN I found out that the 49ers game started at 1.20am on Monday, and not at 9.25pm on Sunday, as I had originally thought.
So, being a stubborn bastard and also not liking to have my plans changed, I decided to sit up all night to watch the game, when I should have been getting a good nights sleep, having only recently started to feel better after the whole '2023 Summer Covid Variant' experience. So yesterday was a car crash of a day, with me existing on the back of only three hours rest, and my brain doing all the weird shit that it was doing for the past few weeks; which I had finally managed to recover from.
This may have been mentioned before in the 16 years of this blogsite, but sometimes I really am my own worst enemy.

RC 10-10-23

Eight-legged obsession

For some reason, I seem determined to convince Philippa that I should have a pet tarantula. To be specific - a Gooty Sapphire Ornamental Tarantula (Poecilotheria metallica). They are a striking metallic blue colour and are utterly beautiful. Venomous, and dangerous to humans, but also in a lot of trouble in the wild, being classed as 'critically endangered' and with many more breeding in captivity now than naturally.  So, if we get one, we'll be helping with important conservation work, right?
Philippa doesn't see it that way.
They are also known as Peacock tarantulas and are only found in a relatively small area in India (about 100 square kilometres). Females live a lot longer than males - up to FOUR times as long - so you get better value for money if you buy a female. None of this, though, seems to be swaying my wife towards agreeing that it's a good idea to get one.
For some strange reason, she thinks a deadly spider is a terrible thing to have in a house with two young children....
I don't even know why I've suddenly started pushing for this. It might be the weird dream I had on Saturday - I was camping in the middle of a wood with a young David Attenborough and I kept finding very small, but very colourful, spiders. I would go to pick them up and remove them from our camp, only to have the cameraman (because for some reason there was a creative team directing the whole dream) push me away, telling me "Don't touch them, they're Widows, if they bite you you'll be dead within an hour." I would turn to young Mr Attenborough for confirmation or argument and he would shrug his shoulders as if to say, "Do what you like mate, I don't give two shits."  And my tent was full of holes, too, so I got wet when it rained and kept getting bothered by mosquitoes. And yet, on awakening, I didn't get an urge to buy a new tent or buy pet mosquitoes, I got an urge to research colourful spiders and in the process I found, and fell in love with, the Gooty Sapphire.
Philippa says this is just one of my brief compulsions and that I'll have forgotten about it in a few days, but we'll see...

RC 9-10-23

lost in the mental wilderness

Looks like it's another month where I won't be setting myself a blog-related Challenge.
It's a shame. I'm quite convinced that the reason I wrote and posted so much over the Summer months was because I had set myself a weird target to achieve and stuck to it. That motivation helped to keep me blogging, and kept it in the forefront of my mind, whereas now I seem to forget about this blogsite more frequently than I look at it. I'll keep thinking, and try to come up with something. But then, I tried that in September and didn't come up with anything. I even asked you, my erstwhile listeners, for suggestions and that didn't really get us anywhere either. I'm not blaming you, by the way. This was never supposed to be an interactive affair, with other people having an important input, and I should be more than capable of manufacturing my own ideas for challenges.
But apparently I'm not...
Anyway, my plan for the rest of the evening is to enjoy a mug of hot chocolate and to watch the 49ers play the Cowboys on Sky Sports NFL. It should be a cracker....

RC 8-10-23

Change of thinking

I'm very content today. Relaxed, calm, and generally feeling pretty good about myself. It might just be relief that my recent low mood has lifted, but actually I think I've just finally shaken off the Covid after-effects. My bloody brain just didn't seem able to put things together in the way it should, and physically I've felt pretty exhausted too.  Today, though, all that seems to have alleviated somewhat. I'm not chasing thoughts around my own head trying to get two halves of the same idea to match up, I feel like I've eaten properly so I have enough energy to function, and my senses are able to take in what's going on around me and react accordingly. For the past couple of weeks it's just been like I've been wandering around in a daydream.
And it's lovely to be able to appreciate the beauty of things around me. I live in a great area of the country, the park I work on is beautifully maintained and everything is still behaving like it's late Summer. And today I am able to enjoy it. Light wind, temperatures in the early 20s! lots of flowers still out (that probably shouldn't be) and plenty of wildlife roaming around. Squirrels, especially. They seem to be everywhere. I guess it's this year's litter now getting to adulthood and out and about scavenging for stuff to store away for the Winter. It all looks pretty glorious and I am actually enjoying it today.
I guess it helps, too, that the madness of the school holidays is behind us. Everything does take on a completely different air when it's August, and thankfully we don't have to think about that for another 10 months or so. It was made more taxing this year, of course, by Gavin nonsensically sending me down to Devon, but let's not go on about that, because I've moaned about it enough already, and because he is still trying to get me down there permanently....

RC 7-10-23

Dum spiro, spero

 My Winter depression seems to have kicked in early this year; I think that's why I've been feeling so tired.
But enough about me - Philippa is full into the swing of learning new things and is thoroughly enjoying her course, although finding it hard at times. Studying at home is great but when you're being a mum as well to two very young boys it can be a trial. She'll just get into something and then Rian will wake up, or she'll take slightly longer than planned on a topic and then suddenly have to leave to go and collect Mathew. But she's doing it, and she's coping, and I know she'll get through it and qualify because she is incredibly bright, and determined, and generally speaking is the best person I've ever known.
So, there you go - I may be feeling shit about myself at the moment, but I can still appreciate what an incredible person my wife is.

RC 5-10-23

10th month onset disbelief blog

Holy shit, it's October!
Hallowe'en Month... Autumn Onslaught... etc etc... We are barrelling towards Bonfire Night and careening towards Christmas. It'll be 2024 before we know it...

RC 2-10-23