End of May

It's June tomorrow. I know you know that, but it seems to have crept up on me and then shouted in my ear to startle me. I'm really starting to think I have some kind of early onset dementia because I genuinely can't remember the last time I was actually aware of what day of the week it was, much less having some kind of concept of what the date was. I mean, having babies in the house will do this to you, but Jesus, man, this is actually quite worrying. Maybe I've been smoking weed without realising it, and that's why my concept of time has got a little messed up. Or maybe I should start smoking weed and that will straighten me out a bit. Yes, I'm sure that's the sensible answer. A baby in the house, an energetic 4-year-old son, a wife who works for the NHS, me with a history of weird mental states at times, and me with a job that has a strict 'no drugs' policy; that sounds like a perfect scenario for someone to start indulging in marijuana.
I genuinely have no idea what I'm typing about anymore, so I'm going to put the kettle on and hope for a decent start to June tomorrow....

RC 31-5-23

It's been a while, but I'm dreaming again...

This is going to do wonders for the people who believe that eating too much cheese in the evening is a cause of weird dreams... Last night we had a couple of Philippa's friends over for a Bank Holiday mini-BBQ, and they brought a rather splendid selection of olives and cheeses, which we sat outside eating as the sun set. Very Mediterranean....
And then, overnight, this happened in my head:
It was Christmas Day, but it was hot. I was working in my office, but that office (despite being identical to my actual office as it is at the moment) was situated on top of what I'm pretty sure was the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. We were expecting a coachload of Japanese tourists, and I know they were Japanese because it was pointed out to me by my boss (who in this dream was a bearded biker from Canada called 'Spike') that I had forgotten to book a translator and that none of them would have a clue what was happening. We also realised that we had 80 people arriving on the coach, but only 14 beds available anywhere on the caravan site. To my credit, I had filled the kitchen fridges with lots of sushi; but then it was mentioned that what they had asked for was a constant diet of burgers and fries, as they were all on their first trips abroad and really wanted to soak themselves in Western culture and cuisine. I spent several hours calling various suppliers, all of whom reported to me that there was an unexpected glut of potatoes and cow meat, 'probably due to the extra Bank Holiday'. Trying not to descend into panic, I went online in my office, only to find that our entire computer system was infected with some virus, that apparently had already spread to the bar staff, meaning it was probably the first ever software virus to make the leap into humans, but also meaning that we were woefully understaffed. Then smoke started pouring out of the back of my laptop, and I did the sensible thing and dropped it into a fishtank even though it was still plugged in, and then I realised that it wasn't smoking anyway, it had just become very foggy everywhere, including indoors.
Then it turned out that 'Spike' was actually Father Christmas, and this was all a huge test to check whether I was worthy of being appointed 'Chief Elf in Charge of Toy Production' at the North Pole, and I had failed miserably. The dream ended with me being pushed out of the office, armed with only a carrier bag full of sachets of Splenda sweetener, and then having the door slammed in my face.
Thank you, brie.

RC 30-5-23

All good

Work feels very different this year. I think it's because it's my third time around with it and so I'm finally feeling comfortable and confident and realising that I know what I'm doing. I feel a slight twinge of fear saying that, in case it somehow upsets the Universe, which will now promptly send me something very difficult to deal with as a way of punishing me for speaking so foolishly, but if someone else said that I'd call them a twat and tell them to ignore that silly negative voice and go on enjoying themselves, so...

Anyway, my point is that I am enjoying my work life at the moment. I was anticipating complications and tiredness and confusion once it got busy again, but I've fallen back into the old routine, which normally I would hate saying, but in this circumstance it is welcome and warming and wonderful.
It does help having Gavin around again. I'm not saying the place doesn't run right without him, but when he was away he was constantly messaging people to check on them, and that put extra pressure on everyone and put the collective stress levels through the ceiling. I think, in his heart, this is his home and he wants to stay here. He has just somehow convinced himself that he wants to replicate this set-up in other parts of the country, and that he is the only person who can make it work. So he still plans to leave others in charge in East Anglia while he expands the empire into the South-West, whereas it might be argued that it would make more sense to let someone else set the new stuff up how they want it to run, leaving him to continue with his successful stance in Suffolk, because otherwise he's got to wait for someone else to get up to speed with exactly how he likes things to be here.
Jesus, did any of that make any sense???

Anyway, the point is - I am content at work, I am content at home. Philippa is in a good frame of mind and positive about the future, and both our sons are doing well. I never really expected my life to ever be this delightful, but it is. And I am extremely grateful. (to the point of not making sense when I try to describe it...)

RC 29-5-23
2030 BST

Mazdaaaaaa!!!

It's weird getting used to driving a new car. I mean, they all run basically the same way, but there's always little differences in the way they handle, and it takes a few miles and a few journeys and a few days to get used to it.
This is my way of saying I am struggling to get the hang of our new purchase, and to apologise in case you were stuck behind me this morning after I stalled it, for the third time, right in the middle of a set of roadworks...

RC 29-5-23

Rueful regrets?

The car is gone. It has been removed. It has been sold. The deed is done.
Now, though, I'm doing that horrible 'seller's regret' thing where I'm wondering if I was too hasty in just passing it on to the first person willing to pay for it? Silly, I know, but that's how my head works. I think it's a bit of an unexpected nostalgia thing, too. This is, after all, the car that brought both our children home from the hospital after their births. That means something, I guess.
But only if I attach stupid sentimentality to it...
Ah, sod it, it's done now, and tomorrow night we'll have a new car sitting outside the house, I'll have stopped thinking about the old one and we can start building brand new memories in the Mazda.

RC 27-5-23

Dovetailing

John liked my car. So, as of tomorrow night, it will no longer be 'my car'. It will be John's car. Things really can move fast sometimes, can't they? (Not my car, obviously, but my life.)
He knocked the price down a bit, because I think that's just what people do in these circumstances isn't it? As a friend of mine stated recently while trying to move house, "When people are making big purchases, they stop being human and become bastards" and I think there's an element of truth in that. There seems to be this shitty game you play where the buyer and seller are dishonest with each other and have to make petty points to try and stiff each other on the price, before eventually settling for an amount that neither of you are probably happy with.
Anyway, John (and his mechanically minded cousin 'Jezza') found a few faults that need looking at, but said if I dropped the amount I was asking for, they would use that money to buy the parts and then do the work themselves. The other option, which they didn't need to point out to me but obviously felt they should as part of the bargaining process, is for me to get the work done by someone before they purchase it, which would cost me parts and labour. I nodded, played the game by pretending to be giving it careful consideration, then shook his hand and said I accepted the offer.
Then, while doing the paperwork, it came up in conversation that John used to play the drums for a covers band! So we bonded a little over that and I was able to talk about things I actually know about, rather than trying to bluff my way through a car sale. It is funny sometimes how the right people seem to enter our lives at the right times for the right things to happen for both of you, isn't it? No wonder some people get religious...

RC 24-5-23

Serendipity?

I seem to have found a buyer for my car. It’s funny how things can fall into place sometimes, isn't it?  The bloody thing has forced me to fall out of love with it, I have found a replacement, and then lo and behold I find someone whose Renault has just failed its MOT and they need a new vehicle desperately. I was completely honest with them too, saying it has started to cost me money and may still have a few issues that need solving with regards the suspension. I said that, as far as I know, there are no major mechanical faults and it should keep running fine for ages, and that my only reason for selling was because I need something more suitable for my growing family. That may have been a slight lie, but is based in a truth, so I won't beat myself up too much about that one. Anyway, this fellow John seems happy enough to take a chance with it, saying 'My cousin likes tinkering with motors so I can take it to him with any problems.' He's going to meet me after work tonight so he can 'take it for a spin' and 'see how she sounds' and if all goes well, he's happy to hand his cash over on Friday and take her off my hands. (See how quickly I'm falling into the lingo?)
And the Mazda is ours from Saturday, so doesn't that just all fit together beautifully?

RC 24-5-23

Proud hubby

Philippa is all paid up and committed to her course in the Autumn and is now incredibly excited and has started to do some early research already! She is very keen to do a bit of background learning before she even starts, but she doesn't even get the course info pack until August so I'm not sure what she's looking at. I suppose The Human Body is a well-known machine and so she can visit websites and research resources and clue herself up on the systems and structures that she'll be getting her hands onto once she starts. One big positive of this that I hadn't even considered is that she'll need people to practice on! And as we live together, surely it makes perfect sense for me to be the main person she tries out her treatment techniques on? The thought of a three-month period where I'm getting regular massages is an incredible one, and I have already volunteered - several times in the last 24 hours.
This could be great for my shoulder, which is sometimes stiff. And for my knee, which is still often painful. And for everything else in between. I can't wait for her to get started and neither can she, which is wonderful. We are, for want of a better phrase, both feeling rather buoyant right now, and it's lovely.

RC 23-5-23

Content

I have to say I am a very happy little Rory at the moment. Driving into work this morning, I was really taking in the scenery for a change. I noticed how full all the hedges are, how bursting with life the trees are, and how many noisy birds there are that even a month ago were out of sight and silent. The Suffolk world is resplendent with Spring, and it's about bloody time. It's not exactly hot this morning, but my weather app of choice tells me there's plenty of sunshine on the way next week, and temperatures set to shoot into the 20s Celsius by next weekend; which will be lovely, because it's half-term next week and our sites will be full to bursting.
I'm also feeling very appreciative of my job today. Yes, it's hard work at times, and yes there is stress attached, and yes I have a lot of responsibilities, but I get to spend my time trying to make things nice for people who are enjoying a family holiday and that, to use a cliche, is an honour and a privilege. I have down days and I have problems sometimes, but I genuinely can't remember ever feeling quite this settled and suited in a place of work. I had years of waking up reluctant, dragging myself into work to do something I didn't enjoy for employers I couldn't stand, and then going home mentally exhausted. Now, this job is just something that I do, and not a burden, and believe me I know how very lucky I am to feel that way about it.

RC 22-5-23

The car... The latest...

As requested, I left my car - yet again - at the soon-to-be-never-revisited garage. They called me sheepishly at 11am to tell me that something they replaced last week had not been correctly tightened and that was what was causing the noise. I told them that of course I wouldn't be paying for them having to do something that they should have done when they had it in last week, and asked for reassurances that all was now well.
I received said reassurances, collected said car at the end of the working day, and was then given the joy of driving home to the accompaniment of what sounds like an empty baked bean tin being scraped with a garden fork every time I turn the steering wheel to the left.
Part of me thinks they've done it deliberately just to make me smile. Part of me thinks they've done it deliberately just to piss me off. Part of me thinks they've done it deliberately just so I have to go back AGAIN. All of me has decided that they're out of my life and I'm going to get it checked out somewhere else and, if necessary, send them the bill for any extra work.
And in the meantime, I've put in an offer on the Mazda, and my soon-to-be-divorced colleague has said I can pick it up next weekend....

RC 18-5-23

Rattle and Hum

We're going to go ahead and buy that Mazda that I was telling you about last week. My drive into work this morning was accompanied by a sound from the underside of my car that was reminiscent of a dustbin full of wrenches being thrown down a moving escalator. I called my current mechanics, who said, "If you drop it in tomorrow we can take a look and let you know," which is exactly what they said last week. It was dropped in last week, they did take a look, they replaced a couple of bits, they charged me a week's wages, and it's STILL sounding like it's trying to rip itself apart from underneath. I pointed all this out to 'Mike' who said that maybe the suspension needs to settle down after being worked on, and that maybe fitting a new part onto an older axle might have caused a few creaks and groans. It sounded to me like someone making stuff up as they went along, so I pointed out that 'creaks and groans' are the noises that old relatives make when they get up in the morning, whereas the noises from my car are more like grinding, crunching and clattering. So Mike said, "Well, drop it in and we'll take a look".
If I knew what a 'seething' emoji looked like I would put one here now.

RC 17-5-23

Forgot to tell you...

My 'Weekend Roundup" yesterday didn't actually cover the whole weekend, did it? Not one mention of Sunday in the entire posting.
So let's rectify that now...
Sunday was an absolute delight! For the first time this year, it felt like a day that fitted the time of year it was occurring in. None of this 'Winter in Springtime' crap that we've been having in recent weeks. It was bright and beautiful, and the Sun had a real warmth to it that eased aches and pains and put me mind of upcoming opportunities to camp, to cycle, and to swim. We ate outside in the garden, TWICE! A nice little picnic-style lunch that Philippa rustled up, then at 6pm I did a stir fry and we took it outside and ate on our nice little garden table set-up. It was absolutely delightful. Delightful, delicious and decidedly Summery. Winter woes finally disappeared from my mind and I got overexcited thinking that 'this could be our way of life now for the next four or five months'. I know that won't happen. I know it was just a little teasing glimpse of what could be if we lived in a better climate, and we'll be lucky if the decent days between now and October total double figures, but it was nice to sit there feeling that optimism, surrounded by family and flowers and birdsong.

RC 16-5-23

Weekend Updates

Saturday was a very trying day at work. We're not anywhere near full capacity but most of the people onsite at the moment seem determined to be as awkward as possible. Awkward, demanding, needy, annoying and rude. Maybe there's something psychological about having a holiday in May instead of the height of Summer. You're not paying full whack, and you know it, and you want to overcompensate for your lack of financial show-offish-ness by being a bit of a prick. I don't know for sure, but I think that is certainly true of at least one of our current visitors (Good morning, Mr Richardson from Burton-on-Trent).

In other news, though, Philippa has booked onto her course and paid for it all up front. She went through a couple of days of that old 'What Have I Done?' mindset where you panic about a decision you have just made and question whether it was a waste of money, but she seems to have got through that now (thank you, red wine) and is now really excited and really proud of herself.

 

I didn't really want to mention the car, but the little 'drop it in and we'll just have a look' scenario on Friday ended up costing me another three hundred quid. I think I need to find a new mechanic of choice because I've really lost confidence in my current guys. It seems to come back each time with more problems than it went in with. I'm not accusing them of anything untoward, I just think there are a few issues with it, and instead of treating it all holistically they're fixating on one fix on each visit and that's making this go on forever and is costing me more and more. I know it's an important and complicated piece of equipment, and I know I'm not experienced enough myself to be able to keep it running, but there is a limit to how much I'm prepared to flush down the toilet before I eventually say, 'Enough Is Enough' and pull the plug on all the repairs. 

Lots of plumbing references in that last paragraph there. Maybe because I need the toilet.

RC 15-5-23

Big (or possibly 'expensive') Day

The car is back in the mechanics, for a proper going over, and to see whether it's worth trying to save, or should be condemnulated. I await the phone call with trepidation...

RC 11-5-23

Wives and Words

Philippa is two clicks on the computer away from signing up to a course this Autumn! She's going to do a highly-recommended and well-thought-of Sports Massage course that involves one day a week in a 'classroom' and the rest of the time studying from home. Three months of learning and practising then a practical exam in December. If she passes that, she can offer general sports massages and also then access a much more complex and in-depth course which would then allow her to treat sports injuries and other musculoskeletal problems. There is an earlier version of the same course that starts in a fortnights time, but she felt that was a bit too soon to get everything organised. By starting in September, she still has a bit of maternity leave left to go so she'll have some time spare at home to concentrate on the coursework, Mathew will be out more often and Rian will be a bit older and less needy (in theory) so it all seems to work well. Plus, I stop working Saturdays in October and that's the day she'll have to be in the classroom so it just all seems to fit together perfectly. And this qualification opens up a lot of other possibilities for further study and to gain other appropriate and accompanying certifications, so it's a great entry point for a field of therapy that she really wants to get into. The GP surgery where Philippa works has a list of approved therapists, so she may even be able to jump on that and gain some clients through her 'day job'. She also has loads of contacts with local sports clubs through her badminton days and her many sporty mates, so it might not take too much for her to get established, once she's up and running. All that's for the future, however. Right now, it's just exciting that she's decided to make a bit of a change and has found a way to do it and is going for it. I'm so proud of her, and so glad I can be a support.

I may have explained all that really badly, but I got to use the word 'musculoskeletal' in a blog posting, which is delicious because it's a very long word that is almost (but not quite) a perfect word for me in that it almost (but not quite) switches constantly from vowel to consonant to vowel to consonant and so on and so forth throughout its entire length. For some reason, I find that gloriously satisfying. 

And, thanks to the internet - which 99% of the time drives me towards self-harm, but which occasionally proves itself to be very useful indeed - I can tell you the longest word in the English language that follows that wonderful pattern...
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you, "HONORIFICABILITUDINITATIBUS".

RC 10-5-23

May your May be Merry and Bright

It's got a lot warmer, so at least I feel like we might be getting a bit of Spring now, in what should really be the month that sees us transition from Spring into early Summer. But then I foolishly look at my weather app and it tells me the next two weeks will be full of rain. Make the most of next Saturday, folks, coz it's the only sunshine we'll be seeing in the next fortnight.

In other, less depressing news, I may have found a nice little replacement family car without having to try too hard. Someone at one of the other sites is getting divorced, which is a shame, but the silver lining is that he no longer needs his 7-seater Mazda Sport 5 SUV. (Or is it a Mazda 5 Sport? I'm not the most clued-up man on Earth when it comes to cars...)
Anyway, the point is that he has this nice 'people carrier' sitting on his drive that he doesn't need anymore, because his wife has taken the two children and moved in with her sister. A shame for him, obviously, but maybe he shouldn't have been meeting up with an ex-girlfriend twice a week for extra-curricular activities. So, he doesn't need this bus anymore and he is trying to raise some funds and he lives close enough to the site to bike to work, so why shouldn't I take advantage of the situation to get myself a nice little runaround without having to push us to the brink of bankruptcy?
I have a feeling Philippa will still want to spend more and buy something 'proper' and 'newer' but I could just go ahead and buy it without telling her first, right?
NO - that would be a terrible idea, and would probably put me in the same position as the nice man that I'm thinking of buying the car from. He and I could end up living together and sharing stories of how we totally wrecked incredible relationships by thinking selfishly. He could bemoan the fact that he couldn't stop thinking with his wiener and I could cry myself to sleep every night knowing that my marriage was ended by a stupid decision over a Mazda 5 Sport.

Or it could be a Mazda Sport 5, I'm still not sure.

RC 9-5-23

Is it still a 'street party' when it's not on a street?

The Coronation Fun-And-Games went off without a hitch over the weekend. I have to say that not many people bothered to sit and watch the whole palaver on the big screens in our bars, but the afternoon tea was very well attended yesterday. It's amazing how many more people will show up to something when you're providing free food and drink.
I didn't watch much of Saturday's ceremony myself. Any time I did have a look, though, it seemed to be exactly the same thing happening - loads of overdressed people sitting in a big church with a very loud choir singing some very old-fashioned hymns. Not quite my idea of ideal weekend entertainment.
I don't understand why a lot of the public got so offended by the whole thing. Well, actually, I think I do. We live in an age where everyone thinks their opinion is the only thing that matters on Earth, and if something doesn't happen exactly to their tastes then they bitch and moan about it online.
But I'm not going to go on about that now, or I'll be no better than they are. Plus - it is a beautiful, glorious, sunny Spring morning and I don't want to tarnish that with blog-based bad-moodedness. Plus, we have a lot of bunting to start taking down....

RC 8-5-23

Old, old friends, who are old

I had a chat with Ted last night. Well - 'a chat' may be stretching reality a little bit because he is now so deaf that it's pretty much a one-way conversation. Beryl explains to him who you are before she hands him the phone, then you shout 'Hello', then you just listen to him rant about whatever is pissing him off about the world for about ten minutes, then he hands the phone back to Beryl, who fills you in on any important stuff. It's not great interaction, but I do feel as if I serve a purpose by giving him an outlet for his ire, and giving his family a break from it, because I think Beryl hits a point most days where she'd like to clobber his head with a saucepan.
Last night, he was recapping the World Snooker Championships which finished on Monday. He started by saying it was shit and the worst sporting event ever, then proceeded to give me his thoughts on everything that happened over the two-week period it was running, most of which sounded quite exciting, and most of which he had already said to me in previous conversations last week.
In case you were wondering, his main arguments were that Mark Selby should be banned because 'watching him play is like watching a slug slowly crawl up a window', Ronnie O'Sullivan should be banned because 'he just gives up, and he's wasted his talent' and that anyone who isn't dressed in a suit and tie should not be allowed in the audience.

RC 7-5-23

Coronation Eve

ANOTHER Bank Holiday weekend? Oh, go on then. I hope those of you that actually gets an extra day off gets to enjoy it, and as someone for whom 'Bank Holiday' has never really meant anything other than extra work, I assure you I am not envious in the slightest.
We are, of course, doing a few special things around our sites to mark the occasion of King Charles III officially ascending to the throne tomorrow. We've put up enough flags and bunting to cover every inch of the British Isles, we are showing the ceremony on the big screens in our bars, and on Sunday we're having an 'Onsite Street Party' where all the residents and visitors are welcome to join us for free scones and Prosecco and where a local duo will be regaling us all with songs. Rory, of course, was left to organise everything and Gavin, of course, whiffed at the expense, but this is nothing unusual. It's a little dance that we have to do every time I want to spend some money and it has become a familiar and comfortable little part of our worklife. The good thing is that every event I put together seems to go down very well, and so far they have all had great feedback from the attendees, so he is realising that these things are worth the extra effort and the minimal extra expense and he is more likely to let me get on with it now.

Hmmm, if this weekend flies, maybe I can try again to get him to say 'Yes' to my dream of a massive Bonfire Night party... He's been very anti-fireworks for the past two years, but maybe he might soften now I've proved myself a capable and safe event co-ordinator...
Right, I'm putting that into the diary for next week - 'Pester The Boss Til He Ok's A Display In November'...

RC 5-5-23

May the 4th... etc

If anyone mentions Star Wars to me today, I'm going to slowly remove their spinal cord and then strangle them with it.
You have been warned...

RC 4-4-23

A better head

It's really nice to realise how much progress I have made as a human being, and how I have a much better understanding of myself, and how I work, especially with regards to what's between my ears (or wherever you believe our mind/soul/consciousness to be centred). That couple of hours the other night where I lay awake worrying and berating myself were incredibly unpleasant, but they were just a sugar-fuelled, insomnia-based episode, not a true reflection of who I am or how my nights should be. I was able to realise that and get through it without too much pain. I then chatted to Philippa about it, cleared my head by writing about it in this blogspace, and not let it affect my Monday. I made allowances for the fact that I was more tired and more emotional than normal, adjusted my pace accordingly, and got through a day of work without distraction or disappointment. Then I had a relaxed, pleasing family evening, took a rare bath (normally I'm a shower man) and then went to bed at a sensible hour, allowing myself to drift off without any worries that it might all happen all over again.

When I woke up at 6am today after an uninterrupted night, I smiled to myself and got up to make a hearty breakfast.
It's all good.

RC 2-5-23

Bank Holiday Blues

I had an unexpected and unpleasant bout of insomnia last night. It may have been caused by the large Fruit and Nut Toblerone that I ate my way through while watching the snooker. I'm not exactly a fiend for sugary stuff these days and chomping through a chocolate bar the size of a small Swiss mountain may have overfuelled my body and overexcited my brain.
About 2.15am, I awoke with a sense of dread and with a voice in my mind telling me everything that is wrong about me and the way I live my life. I hope that doesn't make me sound insane, because it wasn't quite that bad, but I did find myself questioning a lot of things that I do, and wondering if I do them adequately, let alone well.  I love my sons and I would do anything for them, and I would do anything to provide for them, but the true meaning of my responsibility as a father seemed to be weighing heavily on my chest and making me almost breathless. I was thinking about having to keep them safe and secure for the next twenty years, about having to be a decent role model as a man, and a husband, and a dad, and I was thinking about what I would do if one of them became ill or injured. My suspicion is that it would destroy me and I would be a useless, gibbering wreck, and that's what my 'overnight voice' was pointing out to me (by now it was about 2.55am).
This has all happened before, and the good thing is I'm better at dealing with it now. I know that any decent parent in the world has times like this, when they wonder whether they're doing anything right, or whether they're ruining a precious life that they are responsible for. I also know that the naughty voice is not me, or my intelligence, or my subconscious, it's just another side of my psyche that is there to provide alternative views on things, and sometimes it gains in power and strength and starts to take over my thought processes; normally when I'm tired or have been a bit too busy. Just because I hear it, doesn't mean I have to listen to it, and just because a thought pops in my head, it doesn't mean I have to believe it. I can just acknowledge it and then let it go, and I'm thankful that I was able to do that last night.
And when I said 'I hear it' I don't mean that literally - it hasn't got to the stage where I am actually hearing voices, but I'm sure you know what I mean. I have a great imagination and oftentimes my thoughts resonate in my head as pictures and sounds, not just as random words. When I'm problem-solving or thinking about things to do with work, that can be an amazing tool to have, but when my mind is less active with plans and is able to roam free and do its own thing, it can often turn itself down a dark, unhelpful cul-de-sac. Especially when it's dealing with enough sugar in my system to keep a classroom full of children dancing for days...
So, anyway, I ignored as much as I could, told the rest to piss off, and eventually managed to get another hour or so of sleep before Mathew came crashing into life at 6am. It will be a day of tiredness and caffeine, but at least I'm not dwelling on the bullshit that my own brain was creating in the wee small hours of the morning, and I'm confident that tonight will be a better, longer, less-interrupted sleep.
I'm going to stop now before I really do start to sound insane.

RC 1-5-23