"Blame The Pain" (a crapoem)

I watch the world.

From my lofty plain.

I think....

'Will I engage again?'

 

The air is pure. 

The drink is sweet.

My sunkissed skin.

My grass-worn feet.

 

The world will turn and burn and be.

But all I truly need is me. 

RC 31-3-22

Strapped and Frustrated

What a year I'm having. Covid, fatherhood, injury. For every moment of delight and joy there's a moment of illness and pain. Just as I start to enjoy the good weather my body lets me down and I'm hobbling. Sans cycling, sans walking, sans comfort, as the Bard might say.
So, it went down like this - 

We are, of course, rapidly approaching the Easter holidays. From Friday evening, all our sites will be rammed to the gills with happy holidayers, and despite our best efforts and careful planning we are not exactly prepared. On Monday, I compiled a lengthy list of 'urgent' tasks that needed completing post-haste, and started wandering around (in a management sty-lee) to hurry our staff along in an attempt to get them finished before the weekend. At some point - fool that I am and not thinking through my actions - I decided to take a short cut across our recently-mowed, even-more-recently-watered putting green. Without any warning or chance for me to stop what was happening, my left foot suddenly slid forwards, my right foot stayed where it was, my knee buckled sideways in a direction it shouldn't go and I ended up laying there in the wet grass feeling sore and stupid, with a rapidly soddening shirt. One of the gardeners had to help me onto my feet, at which point I realised that putting any weight on my right foot sent sharp pains rocketing through my knee joint. 

So now I have a rather unsexy support bandage around it, a leaflet on RICE and pain management, and advice ringing in my ears about 'resting it properly for 2 weeks or risking the sprain becoming problematic.'
If I do as I am told, informed the former Hitler Youth Leader masquerading as a medic at the Minor Injuries Unit, I should recover without the need for physio and be able to resume all activities in 6 - 8 weeks. That makes me feel so much better as I sit here with my leg up on an office chair, wishing it wasn't 2 hours until I'm allowed to take more ibuprofen....

RC 30-3-22

Hmmm.

The smallest little moment can change your life in an unexpected way. This is the fragile truth of existing on this planet as a living, breathing being. A decision, taken with barely a thought for consequence, can render you helpless and frightened. Turning left instead of right can alter your momentum in ways that seemed impossible a minute ago. A sudden change of direction can realise, or strangle, your potential. Running instead of walking can make a monumental difference to your future.
Or, in my case, running across a recently-sprinkled putting green in a pair of brogues instead of walking around it on the pavement can leave you yelping in pain and unable to stand up straight.
I now have a sprained knee, and I'm furious.

RC 29-3-22

Summer climate; Winter blues

Man, I've been slack with my postings this month. March is normally one of my busiest months, writing-wise. But not this year.
To be fair, though, lots has been going on. Plus, the weather has been glorious and I've been determined to be out in it and enjoying it, rather than stuck to a laptop trying to type coherently. And why am I apologising anyway? It's not like we have a contract and I'm committed to providing you with a certain number of scribblings at certain times. And why am I wasting time writing about NOT doing my blog, while actually doing my blog for a change? Why aren't I just getting on with updating you and telling you how I am, instead of wasting both our times waffling on with excuses about why I haven't been writing before now? 

 

March, also, seems to have passed by us in the blink of a hummingbird's eye. I know I've bored you before with my thoughts about time speeding up when the weather improves (probably on an annual basis) but it still amazes me when it happens. February felt like running a marathon through a bog while wearing a suit of armour; March has felt like sliding down a luge course on a buttered tray. Before you know it, Summer will be behind us and I'll be back in the throes of SAD.

 

Reading this one back, I'm thinking maybe it's a good thing that I haven't been blogging so much recently. Not exactly a riveting read, was it???

RC 28-3-22

Fun side effect

There's no polite way of saying this - Philippa is hornier than a Mallard at the moment. Since we had the pregnancy confirmed she's been leaping at me at every given opportunity and refusing to let me get up in the morning without at least a snog and a fondle.
I'm not complaining, and I have to say that the confident glow of her is making her look sexier than ever. Not to get too much into the quasi-psychology of it, but I think she's wanted to enter Motherhood again for so long that sex had just become a functional exercise for her. She'd forgotten that it's supposed to be fun and enjoyable, and now the necessary deed has been done, her libido has reawakened and she can barely keep her undies on for an hour at a time. 

Or maybe it's just the Spring weather.

Bless him

Mathew has decided he wants a little sister, as another boy might try and steal his toys. We tried to explain to him that it doesn't work that way, but he doesn't understand why it isn't the same as his friend who bought a puppy recently and could decide whether to have a bitch or a dog. I would go into the details with him, but I don't want to traumatise him for life.

RC 24-3-22

Happy Spring, b*tches

The world is a different place when the sun shines and the temperature rises. Aches and pains disappear and little psychological niggles fade into nothingness. It feels weird at the moment, and I think it's because we have no recent relevant reference point. Its three years since we had a regular, normal, routine march through March. The last two Spring equinoxes have been lost in the awkwardness of lockdown life. The pandemic paused so many things, and our concept of the passing of time and how it relates to our annual lifestyle has been knocked off-kilter, and I suspect it will take us a good few years to get it back. If you see what I mean...

RC 22-3-22

One week til Mother's Day

All in all, it's been a pretty slow month from me, blog-wise. To be fair to myself, though, we have had a few things going on that kept me busy and kept my mind in a state of pre-occupation. You know - pregnancy and stuff. Work has gone back into pre-Easter, pre-busy, getting-ourselves-ready-for-the-onslaught-of-the-Summer-season preparation mode so there's been lots of site visits for me to do and lots of last-minute maintenance and upgrades that we've had months of down time to get done but somehow didn't.
On a good note, Philippa is absolutely buzzing to be gestating an unborn child again. She's so full of life that she's only sleeping about four hours a night. She's already planning how to redecorate ready for The New One and seems to want everything in place post haste even though she's still in the first trimester. It's nice to see her passionate and enthusiastic about something again, but I'm not sure we can sustain this level of excitement and energy for another seven months of pregnancy without one of us having a breakdown (probably me). Mathew is only 3, but he's already getting bored with the baby talk.  I swear he wants to roll his eyes and say "Jeez, I get it. I'll have a sibling. Big Wow. Leave me alone with my toy train and let me know when your waters break" every time his mum mentions it again.
But, like the gentlemen that we are, he and I are taking her obsession with good grace and doing lots of fun things together while she talks on the phone to the other mums that she's mates with. 

And call me a fool for this, but I'm firing up the barbecue later for our first Outside Eat of the year. An equinox celebration with some overcooked sausages and underdone burgers? That'll do for me.....

RC 20-3-22

Summer 2 approaching...

The Spring air seems to be doing amazing things to people's moods. I would have said that Winter didn't feel too bad this year, but maybe that's me seeing it from this perspective, with it being behind us. I'm sure if I checked back through my blog writings of the past 4 months or so there'd be plenty of days where I was moaning about it being dark and moaning about it being cold and moaning about it being endless. Either way, the upturn in temperature and brightness has done wonders for everybody and it's nice to see smiles instead of scowls.
I'm even looking forward to the start of our busy season! It's only a couple of weeks now until schools break up for Easter, and then we'll be pretty much full right through until the end of October! It's nice to be facing it for the second time around, with the experience of 2021 lodged in my back pocket to refer to. Last year, I was feeling out of my depth and making it up as I went along; this year I do at least feel like I sort of know what I'm doing.
And with that, I shall get on with cooking tea. Jacket potatoes, grilled pork chops and some nice field mushrooms, in case you were wondering...

RC 17-3-22

Offspring 2 approaching...

Yep, it's all real and it's all happening. Chesworth Junior 2.0 will be arriving on these shores around about Hallowe'en time. Philippa is delighted, Mathew is nonchalant and I personally am surprisingly pleased with the whole thing. I know I've been a bit flippant and noncommittal about the idea over the past few months, but I think that was just a bit of justified fear. It's a big thing to consider, bringing a child into the world and taking responsibility for it, and in a way I think it needs even more consideration when it's your second. You already know exactly what's involved and you have to seriously think about whether you want to go through it all again. I don't mean that in a negative way, but I think you really do have to think about these things before you just crash on and bring about another life. Too many people just lose themselves in the fun and emotions and gooeyness of it all and don't tackle the further ramifications such as increasing populations at a time when we're running out of space to grow food, or forcing an 80-year lifespan on another being when the coming decades look like being the most challenging that Humankind has ever faced. There's also the very real fact that a great number of things can go wrong during pregnancy, all of which can be dangerous for the woman and/or unborn child. Complications are not commonplace, but you have to be aware that they can occur, and when you're a bit of a worrywort like what I can be, you have to realise that you're setting yourself up for months of anxiety while you wait for a successful labour, followed by years of anxiety while you navigate a (hopefully) successful childhood. As any parent who is worth their salt will tell you, though, the good stuff far outweighs the bad, and I am genuinely thrilled that we're doing it all again!
Now I just have to be patient for 7 months or so until I get to meet him or her.

RC 15-3-22

The Big News

So - here's the thing:

We're having another baby.

RC 14-3-22

THIS IS No.2999!!!

Incredible to think that the odometer on my blog is about to hit 3,000.
You may have been thinking that I've got a bit of altitude sickness as I reach these dizzying heights of numbers, and that that is why I haven't been posting all week. They say, in sport and in life, the closer you get to a big milestone the harder it is to reach it, but that's not applicable in this case, as it happens. I wanted No. 3k to be a notable posting, but I couldn't be bothered to write something special or do any research. Then I got a hint that I might be receiving some interesting news that I could share with you, so I thought I'd hold back on writing anything else until I knew whether this news was forthcoming. Now I know for certain that it is, it means I can make Blog Entry 3000 a worthwhile one.
Which I shall do tomorrow....

RC 13-3-22

Satur-ku

Saturday bike ride
Giving me a Spring feeling

and sore leg muscles

 

I've said it before

'March is my favourite month'

and it still holds true

 

The Paralympics

Have now started in Beijing

(The Winter version)

 

I would like to see

a blind biathlon event

and wheelchair ski-jump

 

Politics one day

Disabled athletes the next
Do I want complaints????

RC 5-3-22

Keep it short, non-political, and fun

Sorry about yesterday's weird rant. I'm not sure if it's the longest blog posting I've ever written but it must be in the Top 5 at least. It felt good to get it out of my system, but I became one of the people I hate most online - those who spout their own opinions and prejudices with no thought to making it entertaining or readable.
So, from now on, none of that shit.
I don't have many regular readers, but I would like to keep you all with me, and I'll do that by making you smile and giving you things from my own life to connect with, not by waffling on about things I don't understand. Countless others do that on the internet, you don't need to get it from me.

RC 4-3-22

Too reflective?

I got called a "Putin sympathiser" by someone at work today, purely because I was trying to get them to see The Bigger Picture about the current Ukraine conflict.
Don't misunderstand me (like he did). I'm not excusing what has been done and I'm horrified by what's unfolding, but at the same time I'm rather concerned about the way it is being reported to us and the information/misinformation/disinformation that we're being given. It seems to me that a lot of the stories coming out of the 'war zone' are stories that have been repeated countless times in Iraq and Afghanistan over the past 15 years without them being cited as 'war crimes'. So, if we massacre tens of thousands of innocent citizens it's seen as an unfortunate but necessary by-product, but if Russia kills a few hundred they should be charged and put on trial? What's good for the goose, etc.

It also seems to me that a lot of the articles about President Putin and his state of mind and his intentions are scarily similar to the ones written about Saddam Hussein when the West wanted an excuse to get rid of him, and scarily similar to the ones that were written about Castro and Yeltsin and countless other world leaders that the Americans and Western Europeans decided they didn't like. If one was cynical and untrusting of our leadership, one might almost say it is propaganda designed to help them achieve a pre-determined aim.

I remember reading a book about Roman military tactics and one of their tricks when they wanted to expand the Empire was to invent stories about the barbaric horrors being inflicted on the populous by a faraway leader, demonising him in the eyes of the Roman people, who would then agree to fund a conflict in whatever region this was, that most of them had never heard of before. I'm not saying that's what happening here (and I sincerely hope it isn't, or we're being governed by people who are borrowing ideas from over 2,000 years ago) but the way it's being reported does seem very one-dimensional and intended to provoke a particular emotional response; one that will make us supportive of whatever actions may be taken. 

We have a member of staff whose wife is Ukrainian, and her family reside in the area close to the border with Russia, where there have been skirmishes, clashes and deaths repeatedly for almost a decade. A lot of the Ukrainians in that area ARE pro-Russia and anti-NATO. Not all those people are fanatics, terrorists or 'puppets of Moscow', they are free people who have made a free choice, and have since been persecuted for it by those who disagree with them. They say their country's future was taken away from them, and believe their current leadership is only in place because of a US/Europe-led coup in 2014.  Joe Biden saying 'we're defending democracy' is ignoring the fact that the freely elected leaders were ousted. So, maybe we're only defending democracy when the results of that democracy give us leaders that we can deal with?

I'm sorry to sound like a conspiracy theorist, but there seems to be a very unpleasant smell about all this, and it's reminding me of the fiasco about WMDs that led us into Iraq. I'd hate to be watching TV in 10 years-time and learn that, yet again, we had been lied to about motives and scenarios and been brainwashed into supporting something unjust, unnecessary and expensive.

I've already heard it said by our leaders - with regards to the sanctions being inflicted on Russia in some strange attempt to quash them - "Britain is prepared to pay the financial cost." Well, I hate to sound unpatriotic, but I'm not. We've got a half-a-trillion pound pandemic bill to settle in the coming years, I don't want to face austerity cuts due to an economic war with Russia that I haven't agreed to, voted for, or been consulted on. 

I may not have all the facts straight in this posting, but lack of clear facts never stops the BBC from putting stuff on their 'News' website, so I'm not going to let it stop me here. And it may have been a load of old narrow-minded, ill-informed waffle, but so is most of the other stuff being written about this conflict, and I feel better for getting it out of my head and into the blogsphere, so thanks.

RC 3-3-22

Reflective.

It always feels good when I get to write the first blog posting of a brand new month. There is something satisfying about seeing yet another subheading appear on the homepage and to know that, for the first and only time in my life really, I have stuck at something, and continue to do so.  

After the 'early Spring hit' of Sunday and Monday, today is depressingly dull and overcast. I suppose it is just a gentle reminder from the Gods of our Weather that we're only just out of February, and that the UK Spring these days doesn't really start until late May. 

 

I have to say that I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would take up arms to defend my country if we were invaded by a hostile force. I don't know if it's unpatriotic, laziness or simply cowardice, but if another country rolled through England and wanted to occupy us, I think I would just shrug my shoulders and let them get on with it. 

 

I seem to be using the Russia/Ukraine situation as an excuse to eat even more like a student than I was a month ago. I think the subconscious reasoning is 'if we're getting bombed back to the Stone Age soon, I may as well enjoy crap food while I've got it'.

 

Philippa is away this weekend with some old friends, meeting up for a 'girlie mums' get-together. I can't remember if this is a pre-planned, post-Covid catch-up, or if she needs a break from our marriage and has hastily arranged this to get away from me, but either way I'm looking forward to the time alone with Mathew. It will be a different vibe and a new level of connection between us. I might advance his movie knowledge by putting on 'The Thing'....

RC 2-3-22