Pondering on the passage

How many times in the history of this blog have I mentioned how quickly time passes?

How the Hell are we at the end of July already? I thought this pandemic whatsit might make everything slow down, and with less people doing less things it might seem like time had been mastered and the months would crawl by in a combination of boredom and forced sedentariness.

But no.

I suppose I should find the positives, so let me say this – I remain on target to achieve a brand new ‘first’ with this year’s blog. Never before have I posted 20+ blogs every month in a calendar year. 7 down, 5 to go on that one….

Another plus is that I do love August. We get some of the most beautiful cloud formations and sunsets during the eighth month, and with the way the skies have been already this year, I am expecting them to become spectacular now. Is it the fact that there have been less planes in the air or is that just a coincidence? God knows, but I’ve been lost in the sky several times since the start of the lockdown thingy, and have got enough stunning photos to last me through the next three Winters.

RC 31-7-20

A Noisy Mid-Week Jump from Reality

Last night, I spent a delightful evening indulging myself in some musical mess-about-edness. God, I love making up words!

I spent two hours slamming the drums, an hour massacring the mouth organ, then another hour trying to cleverly set up my computer in the garage so I could record myself playing the drums, then play along with the harmonica, then mix it all together, and end up with my first ever original composition, recorded for posterity and giving me a real sense of creative accomplishment.

That didn’t quite work out. My abilities with technology are limited to simplicity, and my ambitions were thwarted by my own ineptitude, but it was damn good fun up to the point that it all went wrong and frustration threatened to overwhelm me. I resisted the urge to cave my laptop in with a snare drum, accepted that it wasn’t going to work, and went indoors for a cuppa, rewarding myself for the fun part of playing, rather than the annoying part of recording.

Highlight the successes and ignore the failures, isn’t that what I heard on one of the many pointless seminars I’ve had to attend for work?

It’s taken me a few years, but I’ve finally seen a benefit from my employer’s obsession with ‘improvement training’!

RC 30-7-20

Rory Reviews (restrictedly)

I have watched several movies over the past couple of weeks, so I have decided to write a quick appraisal of some of them (rather than concentrate on work matters). Being me, I’ve decided to make it more of a challenge than it needs to be, so each of these will be EXACTLY 50 words in length (not including the title of the film):

 

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri:

Wish I had watched this sooner.

Harrelson plays Harrelson.

Best name for a movie since “Hedwig and the Angry Inch”.

The scene with Sam Rockwell talking to Frances McDormand on the phone may be one of my favourite displays of acting ever. So much conveyed with so little being said.

 

Match Point

A Woody Allen film that I hadn’t seen, so I was very excited, even though his more recent, more relationships-based movies are nowhere near the quality of his earlier, anarchic, surreal offerings.

I love him, but this was shit. Two hours that felt like two decades. Waste of an evening.

 

Concussion

Will Smith can be an obnoxious, annoying loudmouth but every so often he reminds me that, given the right role, he is an incredibly talented actor.

My love of the NFL diminished by the minute as the story unfolded, and even more so when I did my own research later.

 

I have noticed, reading this back, that limiting myself to a certain number of words has altered the impression you might get from my review. It seems to have been easier to edit out the fluffy stuff, and what you’re left with is the short, punchy, negative stuff. This, in turn, has made me sound bitter, angry and over-opinionated. No wonder Twitter is such a shitfield of hatred and bile.

RC 28-7-20

Quacks

We think Mathew has a spot of infant eczema, so we’re wondering whether to go through the Hell of getting him seen by a doctor. Even with Philippa working as a receptionist at a surgery, it’s not the easiest thing in the world right now.

I’ve been looking at some home-based remedies online and according to an (undoubtedly reliable) internet advice site, a good idea is to rub the mother’s urine onto the affected area on the child. Don’t think we’ll be trying that one.

RC 27-7-20

Satisfied

Today has felt luscious, luxurious and long. (Long, in a good way, in that we have done loads without feeling rushed or pressured by time.)

It hasn’t exactly been mid-Summer weather, but it’s been non-Summer weather in a way that is okay, rather than in a way that pisses me off. 

Among other things, we went out for one of Suffolk’s finest roast dinners at one of our favourite eatery/gastropubs, where we haven’t dined since Winter. I was amazed that Philippa suggested it, as she has been more cautious even than me when it comes to the easing of lockdown and just how much we should be looking to get back out and about among our fellow humans. They’ve been open a while, but only with a limited menu and with reduced numbers able to be there. Today was the first day they were offering a full Sunday lunch, so we took a chance and called them and managed to get a late table outside. I have to say it’s all been managed brilliantly. I don’t know how much is down to government guidelines and how much is down to their own ingenuity, but it all felt very safe and controlled and not at all like eating in a lab during a virus outbreak (which was my fear and expectation, if I’m honest). There was loads of space between tables, very little intermingling, and enough hand gel around to drown an elephant.  The staff looked aware without being stressed, our fellow diners followed the rules diligently and the food, dear God, was delicious.

Amazing how a simple little thing like popping out for a meal, that we used to do without even considering it a luxury, felt like a treat akin to a foreign holiday.

RC 26-7-20

Delightful Days

Been a good week, in the end. Yes, the return to work was as depressing as forgetting to buy a lottery ticket the week your numbers came out, but since Tuesday evening I’ve felt better and got back into the same old sad routine. Philippa was a great help, as she pointed out the obvious – just because it’s cloudy, doesn’t mean it’s not Summer. It’s July, it’s warm, it’s not raining, so I’ve had an evening cycle, a mini-BBQ and we’ve had a picnic on the beach. (not all this morning, I should point out).

In a way, I’m glad it hasn’t been thirty degrees and baking sunshine, because it meant less of ‘The Crazy People’ were out in the places I wanted to go to. We couldn’t have taken Mathew to the beach if he was going to get roasted and sunburnt, but because it was about 22 and overcast on Thursday evening we were able to hit the sand. It wasn’t ‘a Summer scene’ but it was dry, warm, extremely pleasant and almost deserted! We had a whale of a time, Mathew more than most.

Yet ANOTHER plus of parenthood – I am actually seeing positives in the awful British climate!

RC 25-7-20

Golden

I haven’t cheered up much since Monday. It’s still the same old job, and it’s still not pleasant doing it. I’ve also noticed the fields nearby are being harvested, which always makes me feel depressed as it’s a sign that Summer is continuing apace. Next thing I know they’ll be ploughing all the farmland and we’ll be back to the ground being brown and the skies being dark, foreboding and Wintry.

Sorry if you came here expecting a happy posting.

To be fair, though, once they get the baling done, I’ll be happier. Nothing looks more Summery than a field full of round bales, and it’s a joyous return to childhood to run (trespass) across a recently-harvested field, feeling the stubble crunch beneath your feet, before sitting on a bale and staring at a colourful sunset. It’s something I cannot wait to share with my son, although Mathew may be a bit young to enjoy it this July. It’s also worth pointing out that in recent years September has been filled with lovely weather, so I don’t need to drag myself down into SAD panic, as we could well have another two months of Summertime to enjoy yet before Autumn even appears over the horizon, dragging brown leaves and colder mornings with it.

There you go – a bit of optimism to end with!

Now I’m going back to watching old YouTube clips on my office computer while slowly doing work tasks. Monday was Apollo 11 stuff. For the past two days I’ve been re-visiting coverage of the London Olympics. Nothing distracts you from a shitty mood quicker than looking back on days when I got excited by Team GB winning a medal in a sport I had previously never heard of.

RC 22-7-20

Blue

This very moment – right now – may be the most depressed I have ever been in my life. I really did not want to come back to work this morning, and when I arrived I walked into 142 e-mails waiting for my attention. That’s not an exaggeration, by the way, I actually had 142 e-mails in my inbox. God I’m glad I didn’t bother looking at them while I was at home. Some of them are ridiculous to the point of being insulting. I already know that there are people higher up the chain of command in this company who feel the need to send at least two pointless messages every day, just to make them feel important and justified, but when you deal with them one or two at a time every few hours it doesn’t seem so bad. Look at a list of 10 days’ worth and you realise just how pathetic, needy and unnecessary it really is.

Anyway – stuff ‘em – it’s the anniversary of Man landing on the Moon and I refuse to feel shitty any longer. I shall cheer myself up by ignoring everything work-related and re-watching the footage on YouTube.

RC 20-7-20

My Own Personal Bounce-Back

I’ve had a super, super week at home. Even the crappy weather – which normally would drive my mood downwards quicker than a submarine with broken buoyancy – hasn’t dampened my spirits. I think I hadn’t realised just how stressful and taxing the whole ‘quarantine/lockdown/virus’ thing has been. They often say – do they not – that you don’t realise how something has affected you until it’s over. Now I’m out of the working world I can see that I haven’t been able to mentally switch off since March. There was always something taking up my time, none of which would be part of my normal working parameters, and I barely had time to register one had happened before another one landed on my desktop. And all the while, in the background, my own niggling fears about my own safety and my own health.

I guess what I’m trying to say is – if you’ve been working flat-out during the lockdown, you should maybe book some time off. Even if you don’t feel overworked, even if you don’t feel bothered, even if you don’t feel tired – be good to yourself and give yourself a break.

You might be surprised how much better you feel for doing it.

RC 18-7-20

Guess Who's Back??? - SUMMER!!!

The weather has improved, and with it my enthusiasm to milk it.

So – with just a couple of days left at home before launching back into The World Of Work – here is my plan for this weekend:
Long bike ride

Long walk

Pop to the beach
Yet another barbecue
Bit of gardening
Film Night
Cuddles
Drumming

…and I suppose I should get some sleep.

RC 17-7-20

The Pandemic Pause - The Positives

Some good things to have come from the last few months of Hellishness:

Less planes = less pollution.

We put some temporary measures in at work that have been so successful that we’re going to make them permanent – and they’ll make life easier for our staff, and customers.

People who used to constantly moan about their own little gripes and niggles seem to have seen the bigger picture and decided to stop talking about themselves (in real life, I mean. Social media is still a hive of selfishness and stupidity)

The little things mean a lot; the material things seem meaningless.

I only knew Zoom existed because of work issues – now we get to have regular family get-togethers without having to leave our homes.

I’ve seen hedgehogs in our garden for the first time since we moved here.

It was safer – for a while – to bike around the country lanes. (Now – unfortunately – we’re back to regular traffic and having to hop in the hedge to avoid motorists speeding around the bends).

People, in general, have developed an appreciation of my staff, and what our jobs entail. They like the fact that we’re providing them with necessary products, rather than taking it for granted and treating us like servants. 

Reconnection with the natural world. So many people have told me they’ve spent time outside – walking footpaths, sitting in the garden with a cuppa watching birds feed, noticing the way the hedges change in Spring – whereas before, they couldn’t give two figs about Nature. They seem better for it, and I hope it continues.

RC 16-7-20

Summer, right?

It’s been lovely, so far this week, to shut myself off completely from work stuff and concentrate on family matters. I feel like I’m getting a taste of what furlough life was like for lots of people. I may be wrong, and maybe it was terribly upsetting and psychologically difficult, but being at home seems Heavenly. What I’ve had this week is a thousand times better than what I’ve had over the past three months. 

Shame the weather has been pissing rain against the windows all day, scuppering any chance of a family walk or a solo cycle, but in a way that’s been nice too. Having to stay nice and cosy inside and do things together has added to the feeling of insularity and unity.

And you know what? Without a trek to my office to face every morning, I am sleeping incredibly well. Insomnia disappears without work. Worth remembering….

RC 15-7-20

Does this count as 'Accidental Gluttony'?

I think I’ve set a new record for the number of insects ingested while enjoying a long bike ride. Once the pain in my intestines had subsided from last night’s onslaught (about 3.15 this afternoon) I thought it important to do some exercise, to try and work off some of the huge quantities of tiger bread rolls I ate last night. Unfortunately, Suffolk’s entire population of flying bugs had decided to take to the air and aim for the first open mouth that came along…

Bastards.

RC 14-7-20
1917 BST

So far, so great with the 'holiday'

Yesterday was glorious. A real “f**k you coronavirus” return to something like a pleasant normality. We had our in-garden family BBQ, and what a joy it was.  We followed the rules, I assure you. We kept our distances, we all used our own cutlery and cups, and I even wore a mask and gloves while preparing and cooking the food!

I am determined to be over-cautious rather than flippant, and as a family we are all agreed that flouting the rules is unnecessary. We can’t hug, we can’t share plates or pass stuff directly hand-to-hand, but that’s the only restriction. There really is very little to complain about, even if you do as you’re told.

We nearly got scuppered by the weather, of course (this is England, after all). I sat outside alone because the sky was so threatening.  Hannah suggested we leave it in case there was a heavy shower, but I stubbornly ploughed on regardless. And I’m so glad I did.

I’m not one for often blowing my own trumpet, but I may have thrown together the best barbecue I have ever produced. The timing was perfect too – as I brought the last plate of meat inside, the downpour finally started.

Today I feel a mixture of elation, tiredness, disappointment and discomfort. Elation – for the reasons I have already mentioned. Tiredness – because I drank lots of tea, and we carried on chatting well into the evening, and I then found it hard to switch off and settle down. Disappointment – because we can’t do it all again today, and I am missing both my sisters, and Discomfort – because I am a pig, and I cooked loads of food I absolutely love, and ate enough of it to feed a family of fat Scotsmen for a fortnight. 

Oh, well….

RC 14-7-20

The Giddiness of Holiday Eve

Last day of work before my break! I think I might burst into tears when I finish tonight. I really, really, really need this holiday. No offence to any of our customers, but I’m sick to death of the sight of you, and I just want to spend the foreseeable future with my family.

I imagine I shall keep blogging, even though I’m casting all over ‘work’ stuff aside. That’s my plan anyway. I can access our computer at home without accessing my work e-mail, so

I can keep in contact with you guys without keeping in contact with my employers. I also see that I am on target to set a new benchmark when it comes to monthly blogging – I have not yet achieved a calendar year in which each month had at least 20 postings. How sweet would it be to achieve 20+ monthly in 2020?? That should motivate me to send the occasional scribble online over the coming 10 days of relaxing.

10 DAYS!!!!

I am so excited my hands are shaking.

RC 10-7-20

The Sensible (if unpopular) Option

Beryl is struggling to understand our reluctance to see them. We explained that Philippa sees potentially ill people every day at work, and that I am interacting with people from all over the region, and we’re worried we might pass something on, but her parental/grandparental urges are overwhelming her common sense. I’m sure she’ll see reason eventually. I know it must have been hard for them. They have a big family, and they absolutely love socialising, and they’ve had to miss out on all that for ages now, but I still think we need to be careful. I spoke to their son, Alan, and he thanked us for being so considerate and said he’s have a word with them too. 

I’m hoping, all being well, and the Great British public doing as they should, then this Virus of Viruses will continue to abate and it won’t be long before we can hug the shit out of anyone we choose. Until that day, however, I intend to be over-cautious to the point of OCD. I do not want to be faced in the future with the niggling knowledge that I may, by my actions, have caused the untimely death of someone elderly or vulnerable, especially not one I know and love dearly.

RC 9-7-20

Brighter times building

Plans for ways to spend next week are coming together nicely. The original idea was to simply use it as a ‘week from work’ and a chance to recharge and recuperate. Now, we seem to be cramming in as much activity as possible. But can you blame us? Nearly four months of family members missing out on seeing Mathew. A third of a year stuck at home, with our only time out being spent in stressful work situations, where we both had to learn a completely new way of achieving tasks that used to seem commonplace and untesting? I think each and every one of us is desperate to get back to the things we’ve been missing, and for us the top of the list is family.

We’re having another top-notch Chesworth BBQ at ours next Monday. I shall purchase ridiculous amounts of quality meat from our quality local butchers, and I shall happily cook outside while my son gets reacquainted with both his aunties. We’re hoping to see Ted and Beryl too, but we need to be careful on that one due to their age and vulnerability. Beryl would happily walk from theirs to ours, being coughed at by confirmed Covid cases all the way, if it meant she could cuddle our youngster, but we don’t want to risk them getting ill on our account. We’d rather forego seeing them for another month if it means we’ll get to spend the next few Christmases with them.

RC 8-7-20

Brighter Days Ahead

I have received an overwhelming amount of support from my fellow Mid-Level Area Sub-Managers (or whatever the Hell we’re called) after my heated e-mail exchange with Head Office yesterday. The ‘Superior’ in question called my response ‘unprofessional’ and ‘demotivating’; my fellow District Sub-Level Area Mini-Managers (or whatever the Hell we’re called) have called it ‘necessary’, ‘timely’ and ‘applaudable’.

Bless ‘em. I may have some utter wankers working above me, but there are some real stars working on my level.

There may be consequences to come, but I care not a jot. This time next week I shall be away from the place for 10 days, and I genuinely have no intention of giving it a thought while I’m not there. Rotas and orders are covered in advance, I have two other Mini-Area Sub-Management Co-Ordinators (or whatever the Hell we’re called) keeping an eye on things for me from afar, and I am absolutely determined to switch off any-and-all methods of communicating with me that the Company may think they have.

A holiday is not a holiday if your head is still at work. 

We’re not going away anywhere, but I’m still really excited to be having the time off.

A holiday is not a destination, it’s a state of mind; and this one is sorely needed.
Philippa only works 3 days a week, but she really needs a break after the trauma of the past few months (she works in a GP surgery, lest you have forgotten) and I must confess that personally, I feel more strung out that a piece of string stretched between two mountaintops. We shall relax at home, we shall have some picnics, and assuming we finally have some weather more akin to July than January, we may spend some time at the beach.

RC 7-7-20

A longer Monday moan

I had a blazing row with one of my ‘Superiors’ today. Well – when I say ‘blazing row’ what I mean is this: I didn’t like something he put in an e-mail, so I replied in my usual curt, pithy way, and then he phoned me up and had a go at me.

Not what one hopes for when one drags oneself into work on a Monday morning, but I suppose I brought it on myself. I know Those Above Me send out these pointless, self-justifying missives and I know the best way for me to react is to not react, especially on a morning when I’m unenthusiastic about being back at work after the Weekend and thoroughly pissed off by the lack of Summer weather.  Today, I couldn’t help myself, and now I have another black mark against my name, no doubt.
But – to be fair – this particular pointless, self-justifying missive could easily have been left until later in the week. Or maybe even later in the day. I know different people have different management styles but I’d like to think that if I were in his position (which I have no intention of ever being, and after today will probably never be given the chance to be) I would give a bit more thought about when to hit ‘Send’. I’d like to think I would have realised that Monday mornings are always full of ‘urgent’ e-mails without them being added to by someone at Head Office. I’d like to think I would have given consideration to the fact that most businesses around the country are re-opening today after three months of inactivity, and so all filling stations will be back to something approaching pre-lockdown levels of activity, and so all managers and staff will be very busy today, and getting used to more footfall, and so I’d like to think that maybe I would have held back from sending a pointless, self-justifying e-mail about Christmas ordering and a possible reduction in staffing levels.

Still – no harm done, eh?

In other job-related news I have been invited to submit a report on a topic of my choosing to be considered as a discussion point at the AGM later this year.  I have tentatively titled my report “Sexual Inactivity And Its Effect On The Psyche Of Senior Management” but I may just take the sensible option and ignore the invitation completely.

RC 6-7-20

1917 BST

A quick Monday moan

We are now into our fifth straight day of solid wind.

I can’t go out on my bike without being blown into a hedge, and I can’t open the back door without it being almost ripped off its hinges.

Yet again, I am sick of living on an island that sits in between a large Continental landmass and an Ocean. 

RC 6-7-20

The Wind (a poem)

The Wind, The Wind

It drives me insane

When I think we’re free of it

It comes back again
It rattles the windows
and batters the trees
The flower is uprooted
the kingfisher flees
It rips through your clothing
and upends your hat
The God of The Wind
is a mighty old twat

Is this what middle-aged feels like?

The garden looks good.

It feels very weird for me to say that, and even weirder to say it with pride. I’ve always been handy with a lawnmower, but I’ve never bothered with all the periphery stuff. With the forced extra time at home and a lack of opportunities to go out and about, I kind-of fell into the habit of working outside during Spring. So I worked on the borders, and I cleared out the weeds, and I took great pleasure in attacking and removing my most hated of plants – NETTLES. There’s a farm shop nearby that had lots of cuttings and bulbs going cheap, so I even dug up a new bit and put in some flowers and things. Simple efforts, but leading to a rewarding result. Anyone who enjoys gardening will know what I mean, anyone who doesn’t like it won’t understand, but that’s fine. I’m not going to be one of those converts who starts evangelising after discovering a new hobby, I’m just going to say, with pride, and with surprise, that our garden looks really good!

RC 2-7-20

7th Month, 7th Emotional Turnaround

A new month, a slight upturn in the state of the weather, and a good night’s sleep or two have left me feeling incredibly buoyant and boisterous. I have been for a gentle cycle, I have cooked a delicious stir fry and I have had a good chat with my sister.

It’s all good.

A couple of days ago I was wallowing in the horror that is Rory’s Post-Solstice Comedown. I was depressed about the fact that the year was half over, scared about the lessening of the lockdown and looking ahead to shortening days with a feeling of dread and despair. Today, though, I am excited by the fact that we still have two full months of Summer to come! And for some of that I will be off work! And then it’ll be a lovely, colourful Autumn, and Sept and Oct in recent years have been glorious! So that’s four months of natural beauty to look forward to! So I’ve gone – in the space of 48 hours – from sitting arse-deep in a pit of shit, to floating aloft on a cloud of delight.

I am, to say the least, a bit odd.

RC 1-7-20