Emptier house; fuller year

Some New Years Eve party this is - sitting on my own with a ginger beer and some Pringles wondering what to watch on telly. Everyone left at 6. Sophie has to work an early shift tomorrow, while Nathan and Hannah have a family party to go to. Philippa can’t handle late nights anymore so she’s turned in early, so here I am. A lone Chesworth, ploughing a furrow through the last few hours of 2016. It’s been a good year, as far as I remember. Our first full calendar year as a married couple. Switching from long-term house-sitters to one-year tenants with an option to buy from the owners. Lots of other stuff too, that frankly speaking I can’t be bothered to write about now. 31st December is just another day isn’t it? It starts, it’s light for a while, then it’s dark, then it ends. Why do we have to spend it reflecting on the past 12 months and beating ourselves up if we haven’t advanced? Why do we have to sit and wait for midnight so we can say ‘Happy New Year’ and have a quick snog with someone? Why do we have to have our screens filled with shitty lookbacks in which no-mark celebrities read scripted links about ‘The 10 Most Shocking Wheelspins Of The Year’ while staring at an imaginary person just to the side of the camera?
Damn - I wanted to end the year with a positive blog and here I am back in my old ranty persona. I think I should go to bed. I can always watch the fireworks on iPlayer.
See you tomorrow.

RC 31-12-16
2205 GMT

Houseful of Chesworths

I’m the first person up and about, which surprises me a bit as I was the last one to crash into bed and get some sleep. Last night, by recent standards, was actually pretty tame. I think my family is starting to calm down a little when it comes to parties. Or maybe we were just enjoying the conversations and interactions so much that we didn’t want to taint it with alcohol. Oh, who am I kidding -we were pretty hammered. Tamara came along in the end, but she and Sophie travelled in separate cars. I guess T wanted a way out if it all got awkward and unpleasant. There was a bit of  a frosty atmosphere at first but it’s obvious they love each other and want to sort stuff out, and I’m pretty sure they’ll be fine. Mind you, who am I to make judgements concerning relationships? 

I had planned to make everyone a huge breakfast, but the thought of cooking bacon and sausages is fuelling my nausea considerably, so I may just throw out a huge pile of toast and hope everyone is ok with that. We haven’t really made a plan for today but I might suggest a gentle walk later if we’re all up to it. Fresh air is good for a hangover, they tell me, and I think a stroll in the fog with my wife and sisters would be a nice way to end the year. Mind you - it’s so quiet in the house I’m not sure anyone else will surface before 2017... 

RC 31-12-16

musings from my desktop

This is the last day I have to work in 2016! I have absolutely loads of stuff to get done before 5pm tonight, but it’ll be worth it when I leave and know that I don’t have to come back until Monday. I wouldn’t be so busy today if I hadn’t spent most of the past two days fannying about in the office eating sweets and catching up on Xmas TV. But sod it - they can’t keep a business open 364 days a year and expect the staff to stay dedicated 24/7 can they? Especially when we know that our workload increases at the end of January when we’ll be open overnight as well. But let’s not dwell on that now…
I have to remember to pick some bits up from the supermarket when I leave off tonight. Normally when we have my sisters round we just get a takeaway in or have grub in a pub, but this year Philippa has decided to cook something. So I have a list of strange ingredients to get in for tomorrows Christmas-Chesworth-Reunion-Extravaganza. I think I might accidentally drop some wine in the trolley as well. I know we’ve got plenty of alcohol in the house already, but when we siblings get together we tend to annihilate a fair amount of Hangover Juice between us, so it’s better to be safe than sorry. 

RC 29-12-16

Post-Xmas haiku re: fog

A blanket of cloud
Hanging low over the Earth
Making the air damp

It’s lovely to see
But if you’re driving somewhere
This fog is a bitch

Misty and moisty
Water droplets abounding
Wintry atmosphere

Thick, wet, annoying
A description of the fog
And of Tess Daly

Visibility
Non-existent here today
Like I’m in a sponge

RC 28-12-16

Yule (b)log: (have I made that joke before?)

And so another Christmas Day is consigned to the history books and the memory banks. The recycling bin is full of wrapping paper, the kitchen bin is full of turkey bones and my stomach is full of just about everything edible ever invented by man. I have been enjoying this season of over-indulgence to its limits. Been a bit of a downer being at work today, after spending three days locked away on that wonderful island called ’Christmas,‘ but it’s been quite quiet and everyone’s been in a pleasant mood so the time has passed fairly quickly. It’s much nicer being on the garage side of the business than it was when I was over on the floor of the store. People seem to lose their minds shopping after Christmas just as much as they lose it in the run-up. It makes it less painful to come to work over festive days when I’m not in the middle of that maelstrom. I also have access to iPlayer on my office computer so I’ve managed to catch up with a few Christmas specials that I’d missed by being busy putting things in my mouth.  Doctor Who was a bit disappointing and I have to say the Mrs Browns Boys joke has worn a bit thin now, but I thoroughly enjoyed ‘Witness for the Prosecution’ and I look forward to seeing Part 2 tomorrow. I’m only at work til lunchtime so I’ll have to fit it in somewhere between opening up the forecourt pumps and nipping over to the supermarket café for breakfast….

RC 27-12-16

IT'S HERE!!! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

I’m up and I’m excited!

It’s Christmas Eve!

I’m off work, my presents are wrapped, our plans are made, the house is full of food, and I’m about to get cracking on a surprise Big Anniversary Breakfast for Philiipa, complete with decorated candlelit table and a bottle of Bucks Fizz. I love her, and I’m proud she’s my wife, and this is a small way of showing the big feelings I have.

It’s nice for me to be excited about Christmas. I never felt this way when I was a child. The main feeling of anticipation wasn’t to do with what presents Santa would bring, it was to do with what room my mum might have passed out in. My sleep was never disturbed by the sound of sleigh bells or sellotape, I was more likely to wake up to the sound of clinking glass as my older sister got rid of all the bottles. We’d probably have half the drinkers in the area round our house from midnight til 4am, as mum insisted on bringing the party home so they could go on boozing after the pub shut. Then she’d surface from bed about 2pm, mumble “Habby Chrispmas” while getting a glass of orange juice, and turn the house upside down looking for clean underwear while the rest of us tried to have a nice time. 

I’m not feeling bitter or angry or sad or damaged as I type all that. I’m just glad it’s all in the past. I love Christmas now and I throw myself into it. I don’t let the bad experiences I had when I was younger ruin what is undoubtedly The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year. I have an incredible wife, a fairly-paid (if sometimes highly stressful job), a nice house, some good friends, and a great relationship with my siblings. Things are ok. And ok is good enough for me.

I guess the moral of this story is - no matter how your life starts, you can turn it into something worth living; no matter where you’ve been before, you can end up somewhere pleasant and peaceful.

I wish you an enjoyable, safe, joyous, calm, loving, fun-filled Christmas, and I thank you for reading my blog.  

xxx

RC 24-12-16

Christmas Special Fri-ku

In twenty four hours
‘Twill be almost Christmas Day
We’re nearly there folks!

I like most music
But Beach Boys’ “Little Saint Nick”
Is a pile of shit

Christmas Eve to you
But to us tomorrow means
ANNIVERSARY!

Christmas will be great 
Even though I have to work
Boxing Day morning

Married for a year
And still Christmas makes me feel
Giddy as a child

RC 23-12-16

Nearly there

I think I may be about to have a bout of insomnia. Anyone who ever struggles with sleepless nights will tell you the worst thing about it is knowing it’s about to happen. You lay in bed, get the thought in your head that you’re going to stay awake, then you start to worry about it which starts your mind whirring and your pulse rate increasing and then it becomes a self-fulfilling whatsit-thingy and you’re doomed to a night of awakedness. 
Bloody nightmare.
Is it possible (I wonder, in a brief aside) for something that keeps you awake to be called a nightmare? Is that oxymoronic? Or paradoxical? See - it’s started already - that kind of shitty thought pattern could keep me going until 3am at least. Then I’ll start to think about work tomorrow, knowing I only have a maximum of four hours sleep available, and by the time I’ve worked out whether I can survive a day at work on the back of four hours sleep, and whether I’ll be able to make up the lost snoozing tomorrow night, another 20 minutes has gone by and I’m that much closer to dawn.
It’s a pain in the arse.
I don’t know where it’s come from. It’s been a long time since this has happened to me. Probably this time last year. What with a wedding, and Christmas, and work stuff, I’m amazed I was able to get to sleep at all last December. At least this year I only have Christmas and work worries to contend with….
Maybe it’s a culmination of busy things that have gone on recently. The band, the threat of overnight opening, the postponement of overnight opening, the confirmation of overnight opening after all, Sophie’s domestic woes. All stuff that’s taken up my time and not been dealt with completely. Maybe now they’re taking advantage of Christmas Craziness to jump to the forefront of my mind and torment me.
There is also the possibility, of course, that had I laid my head down and closed my eyes instead of typing these past few paragraphs of shit I might have fallen asleep by now and all this would be irrelevant…..

RC 23-12-16 
0052 GMT

5 days to go, boys and girls!

I am thoroughly sick of forcing chocolate representations of endangered animal species down my gullet. What seemed like a fun, worthwhile daily chore back on December 1st is beginning to become a lot like a systematic form of self-induced torture. What happened to the days when an advent calendar was just a cute display of the Nativity, with little doors that were opened to reveal a different yuletide picture? And you never knew whether the big double-door on Christmas Eve was going to unveil Santa’s face or the baby Jesus? When did calendars become less about crimbletime and more about calories? When did Santa lose out to sugar? When did thought provocation lose out to treat ingestion? When? Why? And what’s next? Will our other annual December delights be pushed aside for confection-based indulgence? Will you take your traditional turkey roast and replace it with a pile of Ferrero Rocher? Forego the Christmas pudding for the sake of a Toblerone triangle? Where will this madness end????
I may have gone on a bit there, and asked a lot of questions. 
Happy Christmas. 

RC 20-12-16

Acquirement over; let wrapping commence!

I had a mad burst of online shopping today and I think I’ve finished Christmas. It got a bit frenzied, manic and indulgent at one point. I got click-happy and chased the rush of the purchase by chucking any old shit into my virtual basket thinking “Buy! Buy! Buy! You can decide who to give it to later, but buy it now, NOW, NOW!!!”
I daren’t tell you what the final bill came to, but sod it, it’s only once a year. I may have blown a months wages on items that no-one who receives them will be interested in, but sod it, it’s only once a year. I may have gone against all my beliefs and fallen into the annual trap that engulfs lesser, more materialistic mortals, but sod it, it’s only once a year.
And thank God it is only once a year, or I’d be bankrupt, homeless and destitute. 

RC 19-12-16
2040 GMT

Sneaky blog from work...

Sophie spent the day with us yesterday. It was great to see her, even though she wasn’t on top form. Things really are quite bad between her and Tamara, so much so that Tamara has been to stay with her parents for a few days. 
“It might just be work pressures,” Sophie said, “but the same things have been going on for over a year and we’re both sick of them.“
We got Hannah on the phone and managed to pin down some family Christmas celebrations. We’re gonna have a big late-Xmas, early-New Year piss-up at ours on Dec 30th. It’s the only day over the next two weeks that Philippa and I, Hannah and Nathan and Sophie are all off work and available. 
It’s yet to be seen whether Tamara will be joining us…

RC 19-12-16

All About (Christmas) Eve

A week today will be the 24th of December. It’s my favourite day of the year, it’s my last day of work before Xmas, it’s my wedding anniversary and it’s the date that Philippa and I first got together. Do you think we’ve piled too much onto it?

RC 17-12-16

Haiku that isn't haiku

Bought some Christmas presents today.
Finally.  
Still got about 30 more to purchase, but at least I’m out of the starting blocks. 

RC 16-12-16

And the winner is...

Mid-December and I thought it might be time to hand out a few ‘Rory Awards for 2016.‘ I know the year isn’t quite nearly over yet, but the BBC are throwing out awards ceremonies left, right and centre at the moment, so who’s to stop me getting in early as well? It’s my blog and they’re my awards, so shut up and read on….
Favourite Fruit of the Year:   Seedless red grapes
This one surprised me, but I’ve had some wonderful times with these fellows this year. I’m also going against my own traditions, too. Normally I plum (nice pun) for something I’ve never tried before or get swayed by a seasonal specialty that blew me away having not had it for months. This year I’m rewarding something that is available so often that it normally flies under your radar. For sheer consistency and for versatility (2016 is the first time I’ve put grapes into salads…) these guys are worthy winners.
Best Song: 
Not a great year for music, in my opinion, but “Live” by Billie Martin takes some beating.
Most Enjoyed (and Re-Watched online) Film Trailer of the Year:  Suicide Squad
(and if you’re a male aged between 15 and 85 you’ll know exactly why)
Worst Moment at Work:
That appraisal I never told you about where someone who had never been to the garage before asked me questions about things that weren’t even applicable to our place of work and then criticised me for not understanding what he was talking about. 
Best Day of the Year: Bonfire Night 
(although I expect that to be overtaken by Christmas Eve/our anniversary)

RC 15-12-16

reflections on a performance

With a few days separation and with the adrenaline finally out of my system, I thought it might be time to look back on my work at the weekend and see how I really feel about it.
I have to say it was good fun and I’m really rather missing it.  I normally hate being around people and spend as much time alone as possible, but it was so enjoyable I’m considering changing my ways. God, it’s like I’m writing ‘Rory’s Christmas Carol’ or something…
As a bizarre encore, I might be playing in a pub with the band! We were asked by someone in the audience if we fancied providing some Christmas Eve entertainment and we all said we fancy doing it. Whether a group who played a few songs for a theatre show could stretch themselves to keep a rowdy pub going for an evening is a question none of us considered at the time. Anyway, I haven’t heard from anyone since so maybe everyone concerned has seen sense and decided to leave it alone.
This whole experience has certainly stirred my interest in playing other gigs, though.
It’s also brought back thoughts about popping into teaching. Remember I looked at the possibility of schoolwork when I was desperate to get out of the supermarket? 
Hannah gave me a big hug after the show and said how impressed she was with the way I spoke to the children, and ever since then I’ve had a little snippet of an idea rolling repeatedly around my head. I think I’ve still got the info pack I was sent somewhere. Maybe I’ll take another look in the New Year.  
So in conclusion - this was an event I was talked into by my sister, and was really unenthusiastic about; and it’s given me the most satisfying weekend of the year, and led me to consider two separate possible career moves for the future!
Quite an amazing thing, really.

RC 14-12-16

December distractions

I love Christmas, I love December, and I love buying stuff for people, but every year I go through a little spell where it all feels like too much and I feel like I can’t be arsed. I’ll be honest with you and say that today I am firmly locked in that mindset. 
I’ve gone online to try and get some gift buying sorted and so far I’ve read a detailed report of every NFL game that was played at the weekend and watched a Ryan Adams concert on youtube. It’s fair to say my mind is not fully focussed on the task at hand. 

RC 13-12-16

a weekend of wonders

This morning I ate a chocolate hippo. It was a good way to start the week, and lessened the blow of having to return to work after three days off having musical fun and yuletide lovings. 
I’m still buzzing about the Christmas show. It wasn’t great, and my playing was below average at best, but who cares? We were all amateurs, it was all for raising funds, and it was more about camaraderie and teamwork than it was about precision and professionalism. We had a laugh and the audience seemed to enjoy themselves, which his great. And the youngsters involved - some of whom were doing this sort of thing for the first time ever - were fearless, fabulous and inspirational. And as much as it might pain me a little to say it - most of that is down to Hannah. She led them, coached them, coaxed them, directed them, helped them, pushed them and mentored them, and to each of them she’s a hero. 
To me, she’s still the little sister who was a pain the arse through my childhood, but I have to say I’m proud of her, and I’m grateful she got me involved. 

RC 12-12-16

WE DID IT!!!

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls, I have now officially made my debut as a drummer! My first public performance is done, sorted and over.
What a relief!
When we had to start playing the opening number my hands were shaking so much I couldn’t control the drumsticks. Thankfully the bass player was sitting beside me and said “Just close your eyes and pretend you’re playing at home.” I followed his advice, and it helped. It’s hard to get freaked out by the presence of an audience when you can’t see them. 
The kids on stage were 300 times better than they’d been at any rehearsal, and it became very clear very quickly that the people watching were behind them all the way and couldn’t care less if everything wasn’t perfect. That took the pressure off and helped me relax, and I’m convinced my drumming improved as a result. By the time we got to the finale, I would go so far as to say I was enjoying it! 
The headmaster got on stage at the end and thanked the kids for all their hard work (cue rapturous cheering), Hannah for putting the show together (cue ’whoops’ from the children), the staff and friends of the school for attending and sorting refreshments (cue enthusiastic clapping) and then us in the band for providing musical backing (cue polite ripple of applause)
But hey - we didn’t do it for the accolades, we did it for the fun of it.
That’s the ‘school’ performance sorted, now we just have to turn up tomorrow for the two ‘community’ shows and then it’s done. Should be a good day really. People from the local area can come in and pay a quid to watch and it all goes into the funds for the theatre group. The local scouts and brownies and beavers and cubs etc are coming, and a crowd from a couple of old folks homes. Be nice for the kids if it’s well supported. But we’ll make it a fun day anyway. We’re all taking food and drink to have between shows, and they’re lighting up the Christmas tree in the evening. All very festive. And hopefully, now I’ve ‘popped my cherry’ I won’t be so nervous when we do it again. It’s hard to sit comfortably on a drum stool when you’ve spent an hour in the toilet with your arse turning inside out. 

RC 9-12-16

Roll on Saturday....

Tomorrow is the school play thing and I am really rather nervous. The rehearsals this week have gone really well, and I’ve been praised by the rest of the ‘band’ for my efforts and my ability to keep the rhythm of the songs going even when they’re being massacred by people on stage singing in the wrong time and the wrong key, but I’m still suffering some pre-gig nerves. I haven’t been drumming all that long really, and it’s not as if I’ve diligently practised day-in, day-out since I got my kit, and I’ve never performed in public before, and tomorrow there could be 200 parents in the audience. The only thought in my head is AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Part of me is hoping I’ll be ill overnight and therefore unable to turn up. I think it’s the same part of me that hoped I’d die on the night before my GCSEs, even though I wanted to do them, and do them well, so I could go off to university. Nervous energy does strange things to you. I think it gets created by your body from all the adrenaline, then it floats around your body looking for a place to latch onto, eventually settling for your mind, where it expends itself by making you visualise horrible, terrible, soul-destroying outcomes, like playing the damn song backwards or accidentally stabbing someone’s eye out with a drumstick.
I’m hoping this is a “day before is worse than the day itself” scenario, but I’m not sure. I’m hoping I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling confident and full of excitement, but I’m also preparing myself for the fact that I’ll wake up tomorrow feeling EVEN WORSE THAN TODAY.
Anyway, in cheerier news, I have to say the supermarket have been fantastically supportive about this. They’re giving me the whole of tomorrow off unpaid so I can get there in good time, and even though the school is in a different County they’ve donated lots of raffle prizes to help them raise more funds. When they put their minds to it, they’re a damn good company to work for.
(Until January, when they’ll be forcing us to open overnight and expecting me to change my hours accordingly. But let’s not dwell on that now - let’s highlight the good stuff and continue the Christmas positivity.)
For my advent treat this morning I had a tiger. But I’d left the calendar leaning against a radiator, so the tiger looked more like an ant foetus.

RC 8-12-16

Step away from the tinsel...

We had a call from Ted this morning: “Beryl is having her annual ‘try out new food concoctions so you’ve practised them before Christmas’ day, so why don’t you come over and get fed for free?”
We didn’t need asking twice! We paused in mid-decorating and hotfooted it up to their house. Beryl gets more adventurous every year. She can’t move too well because she’s still waiting for her knee op, but you can’t keep a good woman down, and she’s not gonna let a little thing like a knackered knee joint stop her from creating heavenly things in the kitchen. She convinces herself every November that ’this year might be my last’ so she goes bigger and better and madder and sweeter, to make sure her last Christmas as a hostess and cook is a good one. So today I’ve tried home-made parsnip crisps with a spicy berry dip, turkey and ham tajine with added ginger and cinnamon, and chocolate-coated rum mince pies with a saffron sugar coating.
Every dish a triumph! But of course Beryl wasn’t happy with herself and has spent the evening thinking of ways to tweak everything to make it even nicer.
And you know what the funniest thing is? They’re not even at home for Christmas - all the family are renting a cottage in Devon for the week so they can all be together down there. So these ’Christmas Specials’ aren’t even for Christmas - they’re going to be used on New Year’s Day when everyone is back at theirs.  But she’s still plotting and planning as if she’s doing a Christmas Day feast for the County.  
Amazing woman, Beryl. 

RC 4-12-16

Excited little 9-year-old me

This is the last Saturday I’ll be working before Christmas, and Philippa and I have pencilled in tomorrow to put some decorations up. 
You can’t tell this from simply reading my typing, but I have a smile on my face so big that it’s threatening to rip my cheeks apart. I’m like a watermelon with teeth.

RC 3-12-16

A poem about December

It fills my soul with plentiful light
It makes me feels close to God, even though I question his existence
It reminds me of the sanctity of friendship
It forces upon me appreciation of the plentiful bounties of life
It guides me to ignore the clouded temptation of pointless material offerings 
It makes me smile

It teaches me the truths of giving over receiving
It is colourful, wonderful, joyful
It is hope, fun, love and peace
It is all things to all, yet a different thing to each of us
It is the time of Christ, of Christmas, of carols and of caring
It is here!

RC 2-12-16

December 1, postscript

I should maybe point out, by way of explanation, that I have a special £5 calendar from a charity that rescues animals in Africa, and they’ve tailored their chocolates to suit. Every day an adventure! (or a safari, if you will….)

RC 1-12-16
2035 GMT

December 1 !!

Would you like me to update you daily on my advent calendar chocolates? Would you?? Go on then - this morning I had a giraffe. 

RC 1-12-16