Rory, like cheese, maturing?

I had a long chat on the phone with Mr Bannerman today - he whose house we are currently living in. He’s having a whale of a time and almost certain to stay in Australia for good. He asked if we’re still enjoying living here, and if we’d still be interested in buying it off them if-and-when they decide to sell it. I fought through the internal panic and dread enough to say ‘Yes, absolutely!’ and we had a grown-up chat about it. 
Basically, he hates the Housesitting Agency with a passion, but is committed to a contract with them for a full two years. Once that time is up though he can let the contract lapse and is under no obligation to have them involved in matters any further. So his suggestion to me was ‘Sit out the two years we agreed to, then resign from the Agency and we can deal with each other direct’ which is an idea I am fully behind!
So I am 4 months away from getting married, and possibly 12 months away from buying a house. I am settled in a job that could lead to a career with the company, and I am finding it all quite gratifying, rather than terrifying.
Whatever has happened to me????

RC 31-8-15

lazy and damp

August seems determined to end in a dribbly haze of Autumn. We had that annoying drizzle that hangs around all day without ever turning into proper full-on rain. I always think I’d prefer to have a massive downpour for 30 minutes and get it all over with, rather than be slowly dripped on for 12 hours and not be able to do anything outside. We took advantage to have lots of cuddling time and watch a couple of shit films. It’s a pain having to work occasional Saturdays. When Sunday is your only day off you never really feel like you’ve had a proper break. But I’m not going to complain too much - before I switched to this job I had to work weekends more often than not, so this is a doddle in comparison.

RC 30-8-15

He has a point..

I had one of the hardest hours of my life today. I spent it trying to explain the basics of quantum mechanics to a delivery driver with only one GCSE. Don’t get me wrong, and don’t accuse me of intellectual snobbery - he’s one of the nicest guys I’ve met, he’s brilliant at his job, and if there’s a problem with his van he can pull it to bits and fix it in the time it would take me to open the instruction manual. But he has absolutely no understanding of the way the world works, and very little urge to expand his knowledge. 
However, over a cup of coffee and a chat while filling in some paperwork, we got onto the topic of the Large Hadron Collider (don’t ask me now - you know how these things happen in conversations..) He asked me ’What the Hell is dark matter anyway? Why do we need to find it? And is it really worth the tens of billions of pounds we spent on it while the potholes in my road have stayed unfilled for three years?’ So, as he had expressed an interest, and as I do love to share my passion for all things quirky and quarky, I took the time to go through The Standard Model with him and try to give him a simple explanation. It turned out to be much harder than I had thought, and his eyes glazed over in that disinterested way that I recognise so often from chats I’ve had with people about science. I ended up with a headache and feeling more confused than he was. He just sniffed and said “Sounds like most of it is just made up to me.” Then he said “How d’you know so much about it anyway?” so I replied “Oh, I had to study particle physics as part of my university degree.”
He said “You have a degree? In this stuff? You must be pretty bright then, yeah?”
I said, very humbly, “I’ve got some game…”
He finished his coffee, patted me on the shoulder and said “No offence, mate, but how the Hell have you ended up managing a supermarket filling station?”
I thought about it all day, and I still can’t find a good answer. 

RC 29-8-15

on a Friday, some haiku...

Full moon hides behind
a blanket of wispy clouds
A beautiful night

RC 28-8-15

Sabbatical firmly over

Hello again.
Remember me?
I’m the guy that used to write regular blog postings and share certain aspects of his life with you.
Well I’m BACK, baby!
I had a fantastic few days off work and I was just so busy enjoying the wonders of existence that I couldn’t even find time to pause and tell you how good it all was. Camping was a joy, despite the rigorous rain and withering wind. We got an extraordinary amount of stuff done for the wedding, and I amazed myself by enjoying every minute of it! I had a suit fitting and was quite stunned by how dapper and debonair I looked. I may have to ask the tailor to tone it down a bit, as I think there’s a real chance I might upstage my own bride on her big day!
We got a few other bits done, we planned a few surprises, and we finally churned out the invites and blew a weeks wages posting them all…..  And two days later we got an e-mail from an old college mate of Philippa’s saying we are ‘selfish’ and ‘inconsiderate’ for getting married on Christmas Eve and expecting people to disrupt their yuletide plans. I was worried Philippa might react badly and get upset or go on a guilt trip but she just said ‘Stuff her. We’ll be better off without her.’
I’m so proud this woman will be my wife! And there’s only 4 months to go until she is!

RC 27-8-15

Subversive

If anyone asks you I’m not writing a blog posting, I’m researching local petrol prices by looking at the websites of our closest rivals…..
After I post this blog I’m going to visit the quiz site ’Sporcle’ and test my knowledge of science-based Nobel Prize winners since 1950. To me, that’s a far better way to spend my time than listening to the drivel being spouted by my superiors at the other end of the office. 
At least these meetings have nice biscuits, I suppose. They obviously don’t get them from the supermarket as they taste at least ten times better than our own-brand shite so I can only assume they shipped them in from a caterer.
Only a few hours left then I’m finished for a week!!!!!
Can’t guarantee I’ll blog much after today as I may be far too busy relaxing, but I promise not to leave you for too long.
Right - time to get back to my meeting…

RC 19-8-15

Who'd be a manager?

I have to go to a meeting tomorrow. A MEETING! On the last afternoon before I have a week off. These bastards do it deliberately, I’m sure they do. They wait for me to put in a Holiday Request Form then they call each other up and say ‘Let’s do a meeting on the day he leaves, to really get up his nose….’
Bastards.
Anyway, they won’t dampen my enthusiasm about having a few days off. That will be done by remembering I have to go to have a wedding suit fitted on Thursday. And then go and talk to a florist. And look at some pictures of ice sculptures…..
Just keep thinking about Friday, Rory, when you will be sitting by a campfire in a lovely campsite, drinking lovely wine and enjoying a lovely barbecue, and trying to persuade your lovely fiancee to nip into the tent with you to practice for your wedding night.

RC 18-8-15

Chicken or Egg?

I have a headache, but thankfully I only have two more days at work before my little holiday. 
I don’t know whether I’m in a bad mood because I have a headache, or whether I have a headache because I’ve been in a bad mood all day, but either way I am in pain, and pissed off.
I’m going to call it quits and go to bed soon, but I thought I’d bore the reading public with my woes first, so I can drift to sleep knowing I have alleviated my malaise somewhat by forcing it on others. 
I think it’s one of my regular, usual, every-so-often down spells. It hit me hard last night that it’s suddenly past the midway point in August, and it’s now too dark to go cycling after eight p.m, and we are screaming headlong towards Autumn.
I love Autumn, but it depresses me when I realise it’s just around the corner and we’ve pissed away two-thirds of the year without getting anywhere.
God, I can be a Moany Shitbag at times.
See you tomorrow.

RC 17-8-15

Palindream

Man, those occasionally-occurring messed-up Rory Hell-dreams came back with a vengeance last night.
I was forced to take part in a weird futuristic Science experiment where I was teleported to the Moon. Something went wrong on the way and I ended up trapped in a heavily-weighted diving suit, trying to wade my way through some unexpectedly-custardly surface dust. After what felt like forever I had found myself in a canyon, walking down the final corridor of rock face until I reached the safety of the Moonbase. There were weird markings on either side of me, and just as I started running out of oxygen I realised that they were symmetrical letters, and I was walking through the middle of a palindrome. I recognised it as a computer-generated never-ending palindromic phrase and I knew with certainty that I would never make it to the Centre alive. I tried to call for help but my voice box had ceased working due to the weird effects of the gravity.
And I woke up, cold and confused.

RC 15-8-15

haiku written while slightly drunk

Friday evening fun
Planned to cycle for a while
But drank wine instead

I love Rioja
It tastes as good as God’s sperm
Or so I would guess

This might surprise you:
I am now looking forward
To my wedding day!

RC 14-8-15

Perseid - the haiku

Rory sat outside
Turned eyes skyward and watched
And it was cloudy

RC 13-8-15

Perseid meteor shower. Tonight.

My time off is edging closer... and we’ve made some plans for how to spend the days of freedom! We’re doing some bits for the wedding. (Yes - I said WE are doing some bits for the wedding!) then we’re camping for the weekend at a lovely little inland campsite I found online. They rent BBQs, they let you have little campfires, and the showers are immaculate so Philippa will be comfortable and happy. It’ll be lovely. 
Of course, this doesn’t happen until the end of next week, so I still have a few days of work Hell to endure before we even start packing. Nice to have a trip to look forward to though….

RC 12-8-15

The neverending length of Summer sniffles

My cold feels a bit better today, but not much. My nose feels like someone has shoved some stinging nettles up my nostrils. 
Hannah was very, very good in her talent show thingy. Bless her. She looked so small and nervous on stage, but she produced an impressive voice from somewhere deep inside her. She didn’t win, but she was only in it for a bit of fun and for a bit of a confidence boost, and I think she succeeded on both those fronts.  I celebrated her success a bit too enthusiastically and ended up hungover at work yesterday.
I never thought I’d say this but Thank God for the Summer cold! It gave me an excuse for working slowly and taking regular rest breaks!
I feel slightly more human today so I should be able to catch up a bit….

RC 11-8-15

7 days gone; 1 blog posted

I’ve been struggling with my Summer cold so much that I couldn’t even muster the energy to write a blog. Poor Rory….
We’re popping back up to Norfolk soon. Hannah is taking part in a talent show at some Carnival somewhere and we‘ve agreed to go up and support her. Nathan is doing churchy stuff so isn’t able to be there and apparently she can’t perform without a familiar audience. I still feel a bit shitty, it’s too hot to drive, and I have a suspicion the ‘talent’ part of the ‘talent show’ might be a bit lacking, so I’m going to have to work hard at polishing my ‘false enthusiasm face’
Maybe I can get Philippa to drive and I’ll have a little doze in the sunshine as we travel.  I’ve agreed to go and get measured for a wedding suit when I’m off work next week, so she owes me one……

RC 9-8-15

more cheerful, despite sniffles

August has always been my favourite month for skies, and four days in we’ve had some absolute humdingers already.
Today was very muggy. With my temperature raised by this damn Summer cold the last thing I needed was a ‘close’ day in the high twenties. I spent most of my time at work sweating like a yak in a sauna. 
I’m still determined to get into the swing of biking to the garage every day, but I currently have as much energy as a Sumo wrestler who has just run a marathon, so it looks like that will be put off for a while. I’m chugging down Berocca and Evian so hopefully I’ll be on the mend very soon.
I’m quite proud of myself actually - this is the first time for ages I’ve had something wrong with me and NOT called Sophie to ask for advice! 
But then - I have moaned about the weather yet again in a blog, so I won’t pat myself on the back too hard.

RC 4-8-15

a question of complaint

Why are Summer colds so much worse than Winter ones?
And why do I have to get one EVERY YEAR???

RC 2-8-15