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From our kitchen this morning:
PHILIPPA - “So what did you do last night?”
ME - “Had a few drinks. Watched a movie.”
PHILIPPA - “Why didn’t you have a play with your drums?”
ME (with the realisation that I had missed an obvious opportunity) - “Shit”
Congratulations, by the way - we’ve made it to the end of January!
RC 31-1-15
Philippa has gone out to play bingo tonight.
Yes that’s right - BINGO……
It’s inspired me to write a quick haiku:
I don’t play bingo
Pensioners and numbers mixed
Would bore me to tears
I’ve also written a quick poem, which I shall call “Friday Randomness”:
Grow a beard;
Rejoice in weird.
Embrace the day,
Go green, go gay.
And now I’m going to drink wine and watch “Django Unchained”
RC 30-1-15
We stayed up late doing a jigsaw last night and I drank quite a bit of wine. At some point, late on - and I feel I may have been tricked into this - I said to Philippa “Ok. Yes. We’ll get married. On one condition. We do it this year, on Christmas Eve. It’ll be our 5th anniversary, so it’ll add to the occasion.” I think she knows me too well to get too excited by anything I say, but I seem to remember meaning it when I said it.
We haven’t mentioned it today but I think I’m sort of committed. I’ve drunkenly backed myself into a corner but least I have 10 months to get out of it….
RC 28-1-15
Today, looking back, has been hilarious, but it didn’t feel that way during most of it.
First thing this morning Sophie called and said “I’m so sorry but we have to cancel. There’s a sickness bug on my ward and I’m going to have go back in to cover someone.” I was disappointed but of course I understand, so we’ll just have to have my birthday bash even later than planned. Philippa had already bought some stuff in for a buffet lunch so she said “Why don’t we pack it up as a picnic and go and explore in the car?”
So we did. We drove right out to the coast and then I realised the car was low on petrol (I usually fill it up at work on a Monday, and as we hadn’t planned a trip for today I thought I had enough in the tank. But I didn’t)
We found a garage with a car wash attached and I had the bright idea of taking the car through to save me cleaning it later… and the car wash broke down with us in it. The roller things that clean the side of the car were literally stopped on the doors, so we couldn’t get out, or drive forward. Philippa had to look up the garage on her smartphone and then call them and ask them to pop outside and save us! Being a Sunday, we had to wait for them to find an engineer to come out and fix it.
We decided to make the best of it, so we got the food out while we sat there and listened to a George Ezra CD. By the time they got us out it was nearly dark!
So my three conclusions from today are:
You just never know what it going to happen.
If life messes up your plans, you can just make some new ones.
There is nothing more romantic than a picnic in a car wash.
RC 25-1-15
Been a flat couple of days after my birthday, but that’ll change tomorrow when Sophie and Tamara are round for drinks and snacks!
My ‘big day’ itself wasn’t really all that ‘big.’ With work involved I couldn’t make huge plans and I think that made a nice change. I’ve got so used to trying to out-do previous birthdays every time a new one comes round that I end up pushing it too far instead of stopping and thinking about what I’d really like to do. This year Philippa and I just stayed in with a takeaway and a bottle of wine! And it was wonderful! Tonight we’re off to watch ‘The Theory of Everything’ at our local multiplex (which, it turns out, isn’t actually all that local to us at all, but never mind. Good films are worth travelling for).
I have to say I’m in a very good place at the moment. (and I’m not talking about our kitchen, I’m speaking metaphysically)
Dedicated readers of this blog will know that I tend to wallow a bit during the darkest months of Winter, but this year I don’t seem to be struggling at all. I’m content and settled at home, at work and in my head, and after years of thinking “I’m nearly thirty and I’m wasting my life” I’m now thinking “I’ve got most of my life ahead of me and I’m looking forward to all of it!”
Especially tonight and tomorrow.
RC 24-1-15
And suddenly, somehow, it is only two days until my birthday!
The celebrations started today really. Ted and Beryl had us over for lunch and Beryl baked me a massive cake full of digestives, Maltesers and caramel icing. I took one bite and could feel my teeth falling apart from the sugar.
I decided not to book Tuesday or Wednesday off work. I’m being terribly mature and managerial and thinking it might be a bit unfair on the staff if I take some days off for birthday-related alcohol intake when I’ve only been there a couple of months. I have no intention of guaranteeing everyone else a day off on their big day so I don’t see why I should be allowed to take advantage of my position and do something that I won’t be letting them do.
Or maybe I should say I’ll give everyone their birthday off. That’ll be more popularity points for me as their boss. And it means I get to celebrate properly this Tuesday. Trouble is I can see it being a problem logistically. Rotas are enough of a nightmare already without bringing in difficulties of my own creation.
Hang on - why am I tying myself up in knots about a work issue on a Sunday evening?
I’m going to go and watch ‘Foyle’s War’ and drink brandy.
RC 18-1-15
Today - for the first time this year - the official sunrise time was before 8am. Only 1 minute before, but it shows we’re moving in the right direction…
RC 15-1-15
I got moaned at by someone at Head Office today. It turned out that I’d forgotten to do something that I didn’t know needed to be done, and someone decided the best way to react was to howl at me on the phone like a pre-menstrual werewolf. I’m quite proud of the way I reacted. I stayed calm, I let them say their piece, then I calmly explained that I wasn’t aware that particular monthly document was supposed to be with them by the 12th, and maybe they could give me little reminders about things like that, just while I’m finding my feet in my new position. Wouldn’t it have been better, I said, to give me a gentle nudge on the 10th to make sure it got done, rather than leaving it until the 14th and shouting at me?
I offered a ‘sort of’ apology and ensured them I’d get it done by the end of the day. Which I did, because it was really simple.
I believe in sharing skills with others, for the benefit of common good, so if you ever find yourself getting unfairly shouted at by one of your ‘superiors’ and you’d like to react as calmly as I did - this is the method I used:
While she was having a go at me, I held the phone away from my ear and silently mouthed as many insulting obscenities at her as I possibly could. I also used appropriate hand gestures to each of those insults, and mimed punching her repeatedly in the head. I should point out that this is probably only suitable if the person is on the phone, and should not be attempted if you’re in the same room.
RC 14-1-15
A week today will be my birthday. I just wanted to mention that quickly at the start, to get it out of the way, and now I promise not to mention it again. Not today, anyway.
It’s been pretty awful weather in Suffolk these past few days. Strong winds, bitterly cold and plenty of rain. The sky has that horrible look to it that always drags me down at this time of year - a uniform dull grey colour that extends from horizon to horizon. It’s like looking at a really boring carpet in an old people’s home.
To keep my spirits up I’ve been researching some footpaths and bridleways that I can explore on my bicyclette once Spring arrives. I’d forgotten that we haven’t yet seen this area in the glory of Springtime so that’s something to look forward to. And it isn’t that far away now! The clocks change in 11 weeks or so, the nights are pulling out nicely and we’re already almost halfway through the month. Next thing we know it’ll be February and, as we found last year, February can be bright and sunny with temperatures in the teens. Of course it can also be minus fifteen and covered in snow, but I’m refusing to think about that.
RC 13-1-15
Someone asked me today why I’m not married. Silly girl.
She was one of the young Deputy Managers in the store and we got chatting when I went over to the canteen for lunch (the broccoli and stilton soup was excellent).
We were talking about Christmas. It was the first one she’d spent with her new boyfriend and it had gone very well despite her nerves. I remarked that Philippa and I have been together for a while so it was old hat for us.
A bit later she said “It’s beautiful the way you talk about her. You’re obviously very much in love. Forgive me for asking, but why aren’t you married?”
Now maybe I was relaxed after eating and enjoying her company, or maybe she touched a bit of a painful nerve on a topic I’ve been trying hard to avoid at home, but either way I heard myself telling her the truth:
“I’m not married because I don’t want to turn into an arsehole. Everyone I know who is married has forgotten how to be themselves, and forgotten what they used to like about their partners. The men have had affairs and bragged about them to their friends; the women have had affairs and lied about them to everyone. They both want to walk away and start again before it’s too late, but they’re both reluctant to do it because they’re scared to be alone, and because legally and logistically it’s a nightmare. Marriage is a sham, and a game, and a one-way dead-end street and it changes people in a horrible way. Relationships are more honest without it, and there would be far fewer tears in the world if we consigned the whole idea to the dustbin.”
She looked as if she was about to burst into tears, and stared at her empty plate as she said “You do realise how sad that sounds, don’t you?”
I said “Yeah. I’m just glad I said it to you and not my fiancee.”
RC 12-1-15
Am I a bit too excited for a man of my age??
Only 10 days to go now………
RC 10-1-15
I feel more inclined to celebrate my birthday this year than I did last year - even though last year was the big three-oh. I think there was a bit too much pressure on it last year - “It’s your thirtieth so it has to be a biggie” - whereas this year I’m more relaxed about it. Plus I don’t have the spectre of moving into a new decade of numbers hanging over me like a psychological sword of Damacles. Plus I haven’t got to think about moving soon, or being in a job I hate, or having to negotiate my arse off to get some time off work to actually celebrate, or any of the other shitments we were dealing with this time a year ago. So I think this one should be a good one. So much so that it’s inspired me to write poetry:
“Thirty was dirty, flirty and squirty
But thirty-one will be even more fun”
RC 9-1-15
Philippa isn’t getting me a birthday present this year. She said the drumkit cost more than she realised it would, so she could only buy it if it was a combined present for both occasions. Funny - I don’t remember her mentioning that on Christmas morning. Mind you, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and intoxicated by love and excitement, so it may well have slipped by me.
I’m a bit disappointed I’ll have nothing on the 20th, but at least she went ahead and got it. She didn’t back out and get me a jumper instead or compromise by buying me a cheapo version - she went ahead and got it because she knew it would be special.
I do love her.
And thank God I wasn’t born in June or the whole thing never would have happened!
RC 8-1-15
The house-sitting agency have reared their ugly heads again. They left a message moaning about the fact that we weren’t at home when they popped round to see us. I rang them to clear it up and pointed out that we had no idea they were coming to see us, and she said “Yeah, remember, we have to do a check-up every three months to make sure you’re treating the place the way you should”
I said “We’ve been with you a couple of years now and it’s the first time you’ve ever decided to do this”
She said “Yeah, it’s new policy - started on January 1st. But you still should have been there”
I said “ We would have been, if we’d known anything about it”
She said “Well it was all in the letter we sent you before Christmas”
I said “We never had a letter from you before Christmas. We haven’t heard from you for a while, which has been really nice”
She said “Ok, leave it with me..”
Honestly, the incompetence of some people astounds me. It’s worrying that clients are trusting enough to place the welfare of their homes in the hands of this Agency, who seem barely capable of putting a stamp onto an envelope without lashing it up somehow or other.
It’s got me thinking - with my new-found confidence in my management skills, and with our experience within the housesitting industry, and with Philippa’s secretarial, logistical and administrative skills, isn’t it worth considering setting up an agency of our own???? It’s not as if the competition is anything to write home about, is it?????
RC 7-1-15
God doesn’t exist
But if he did I’d say ‘thanks’
for the countryside
What will this year be?
Hopefully uneventful
With a hot Summer
Cycling season soon
Time for an exploration
Of Suffolk’s walkways
It’s Twenty Fifteen
And I think it’s time I stopped
Mentioning New Year
A fortnight today
It will be Rory’s birthday!
Feel free to send gifts
RC 6-1-15
FAVOURITE THING I OVERHEAD ALL YEAR:
“My dad used to tell me the best part of a boiled egg was the shell. He wouldn’t let me leave the table until I’d eaten every last bit.”
WEIRDEST DREAM I HAD ALL YEAR:
Being laid up in bed with a broken leg, and Nelly Furtado was my window cleaner.
MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE BEST MOMENT OF THE YEAR:
Sitting on the sofa with Philippa late on Christmas Eve (our anniversary!) drinking port and watching “It’s A Wonderful Life” and thinking “you know what - it really is!”
MOST UNCOMFORTABLE MOMENT OF THE YEAR:
Travelling on a bus wearing pants with broken elastic, and feeling them slide further down my buttocks as I made my way to my seat.
BIG REALISATIONS OF THE YEAR:
Being 30 is absolutely no different to being 29.…. Changing jobs is actually easier than you think…. and living with someone you love is like wearing a shield against the shit of the outside world.
RC 5-1-15
I’ve been sitting around nursing a headache and deciding what to do as a Blog Challenge for 2015. I don’t want to set myself something that I have to stick to every month, like last year. It would be nice if I maintained my record of posting more blogs every calendar year, so maybe I’ll aim for 250 posts in the 365 days. I might also change the font I use for the first time since I started eight years ago. Hell - maybe I should change the whole look and structure of the blog to make it more modern and user-friendly and interactively social-media compatible?
Or maybe not. Why change the lazy habits of a lifetime?
One thing I definitely WOULD like to do is finally have a month where I post a blog every day. February would make the most sense - less days than any other month, and after my birthday and before Spring so I’m less likely to be distracted by alcohol or lighter evenings.
I have to stop now as typing this is making my head spin. Time for paracetamol and a movie.
RC 4-1-15
I started the year at work, so no big end-of-2014 drinking for me. I gave my employees a present by offering to work the New Year’s Day open shift so they could all go mad and have a lie-in. How many bosses would do so much?
Maybe my New Year Resolution should be to stop bigging myself up in an arrogant sty-lee.
Not sure what else to say as we head into another 12 month period. It’s all meaningless anyway. Calendars and time are just Man’s desperate attempt to ascertain control over natural occurrences that we don’t understand.
I might try and be nicer to Philippa and more appreciative of her, but that should be a given, rather than a resolution.
Anyway, in case you hadn’t guessed by now I’ve spent most of today making up for the drinking I DIDN’T do on New Years Eve. So I’m off to bed now…
RC 3-1-15
