skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Philippa looked amazing. And I mean AMAZING. I’d seen the outfit before the big day and I was there when she had her make-up done, but she still took my breath away when she walked down the little aisle in the register office.
Unexpectedly, I spent most of the time in tears. It all overwhelmed me and I blubbed and I really didn’t care who saw me, and what they thought.
Would I say that marriage feels different to the way life was a week ago? I don’t know, but it’s been a pretty amazing time, and I do have this wonderful, enlightened way of thinking that says “I never have to go through that again” that is feeling really nice.
I’m sitting here with a wedding ring on my finger and an incredibly happy Philippa beside me and I can’t believe it’s all real. I thought she’d see sense at the last minute and run away, or wake up married and look at me and say ‘What the Hell have I done?’ but she hasn’t. She’s just been looking incredibly content, and spending 99% of her time within arms reach of me, and that suits me just fine.
Have a great new year, everyone.
RC 31-12-15
It was quiet.
It was peaceful.
It was beautiful.
RC 30-12-15
Off to the Hotel soon.
I’ll see you when I’m married……..
RC 23-12-15
That’s it! I’m done! Work is over and I’m home! The next time I go to the garage it’ll be 2016 and I’ll be married!
Feels a bit weird, to be honest. Not as freeing and as exciting as I thought it would be. I’m just a bit relieved and a bit tired and still a bit worried that I might have forgotten something. But so what if I have? There are plenty of people that can step in and sort it out. My work phone is being switched off and will remain that way until after Boxing Day. Then I might turn it on ‘just in case’ but I have no intention of venturing back that way until January 2nd.
RC 22-12-15
Christmas really kicks in when you get into the days numbered 20+!
Trouble is I’ve got absolutely skiploads of stuff to get done at work before I finish tomorrow. Booking 10 days off over the festive period is nice for me, but gives me a fortnights worth of crap to sift through and sort so I can leave everything to everyone else without the whole place falling apart or exploding!
I think I may end up working late tomorrow, but that’s ok. Christmas is done and dusted and in the bag, the wedding is all set fair, and we’re both remarkably relaxed!
Other people are still trying to trip us up and make us panic, but stuff ‘em. It’s our big day and we feel fine about it.
RC 21-12-15
I had another spell of sleeplessness last night. Whoever said insomnia is a hard habit to break knew what they were saying. I had an hour of borderline panic, an hour of wanting to run away somewhere, an hour of uncontrollable excitement. Then I decided to get up and play Wii Sports for a while, just to have something to concentrate on. Then I went back to bed and stared at the ceiling, imagining worst case scenarios to do with the wedding. I turned up late, I forgot my words, I got Philippa’s name wrong, I caught Ebola, Philippa ran away with the cleaner from the register office, etc, etc, etc. Then I finally drifted off to sleep, only to wake up ten minutes later in a cold sweat. And through it all, Philippa lay beside me, sleeping away like a contented baby that was full of it’s mothers milk, and looking as peaceful as a cloud from Heaven.
How can she be so calm??????
I got up at 10am feeling as if I hadn’t slept for a fortnight. I told Philippa what had happened and she kissed me passionately and then dragged me back to bed and kept me there for nearly an hour. And then, typical man that I am, I fell asleep immediately and stayed that way until midday!
Thank you, Dr Philippa.
RC 20-12-15
I’m still buzzing about the fact that we have a British guy on the space station! This sort of thing is so inspirational. Under different circumstances I might have considered dedicating the rest of my life to following in his footsteps. (If I was younger and not so lazy.)
This time next week I’ll be married…….
RC 17-12-15
I never expected this to happen, but this wedding thing is really getting exciting now!
Nine days to go. NINE DAYS!! And then I won’t be plain old Rory Chesworth anymore. Well, I will, but Philippa will no longer be plain old Philippa, she’ll be MRS PHILIPPA CHESWORTH!! I think it makes her sound elegant and important, like a diplomat’s wife or a solicitor. She may not see it that way, but tough. If she wanted to sound exotic she should have married Antonio Banderas.
RC 15-12-15
A clippet of a conversation in our house this evening (some wine had been consumed):
HER: “I think we should be allowed to say ONE thing that really annoys us about each other, and then maybe we can work to lessen that annoyance. Just ONE thing though.”
ME: “Okay. Sounds like fun. As long as we don’t hurt each others feelings.”
HER: “We wouldn’t do that. We love each other.”
ME: “Hmm. You wanna go first?”
HER: “No. Go on. You first”
ME: “Okay. Let me think. Well, sometimes in the evenings you want to get snuggly, sometimes you just want a cuddle, sometimes you just want to talk, and sometimes you want to be left alone completely. And that’s fine, but the annoying part is that I never know which evening is which, because you look exactly the same in each circumstance, and it’s hard for me to tell the difference, and you never give me any clues.”
HER: “Okay. Yeah. Fair enough. I can see how that might be annoying. You still want to marry me though, right?”
ME: “Yeah course I do”
HER: “Great”
ME: “Okay - your turn”
HER: “I hate your moobs”
RC 12-12-15
Well I’m a new man this morning! I think I must have been a bit tired the other night. I needed a good spell of sleep and when I wasn’t getting it, my mind went haywire. And, like I said, I think it was overexcitement that I misread as anxiety. All that crap that was bothering me at 3.15am on Monday doesn’t seem significant or relevant at all now!
Our staff meal out was a triumph. It was only the third time this year that we’ve all been together, as even our monthly meetings are normally missed by one or both of the part-timers. I try to change the day and time each month so it gives everyone a chance to come, but you can’t have everything and I’m not the kind of boss to INSIST that people come in on their day off to hear me witter on for ten minutes just to satisfy an HR requirement.
So it was great to have the team together and all get to know each other a bit better. We didn’t do speeches or Secret Santa or all that old shit, we just ate a lot and had a few drinks, then I came away early and left them to slag me off, or compliment me behind my back, whichever way they were feeling with a bit of Kung Po Chicken and lager inside them.
It was quite nice being there on my own to open up on Thursday. I didn’t realise how busy a garage (excuse me - by order of Head Office I should call it ‘Supermarket-Attached Forecourt and Filling Station) is between 6 and 7a.m. It’s also surprising how nice and friendly and co-operative customers are at that time of the morning. I’m used to seeing them later, when they’re full of Red Bull and rage and barging each other out of the way to reach the KitKats. You seem to get a calmer class of people in the wee small hours. And I was finished and home by 3pm, so there was time for a bike ride before dark.
Marvellous outcomes all round, if I do say so myself.
Two weeks today I’ll be married, by the way….
RC 11-12-15
I feel a lot better today after a good night’s sleep. I chatted to Philippa about what happened the night before and she was equally supportive and concerned. I don’t know if she’s worried about me bailing on the wedding, or about me being seriously ill. Her face did change somewhat when I described my heart racing at about 200 beats a minute. But then she looked up ‘panic attacks’ online and felt a bit better about the whole thing. We chatted about our ‘big day’ nerves and I think we’re both feeling the same way - can’t wait; but hating having to survive a day where we’re the centre of attention. Oh well, it’ll all be over in three weeks and we’ll be enjoying ourselves on honeymoon, then we can get on with our quiet lives in our little haven in Suffolk. And if I have to go through a few more midnight breakdowns to get there, then so be it.
RC 8-12-15
I’ve had a sleepless night and I feel awful. After a couple of weeks of relaxed pre-Christmas, pre-wedding calmness, I exploded into a frenzy of fear last night and lay awake with a pounding chest and a throbbing head.
I can’t even tell you why.
I love this time of year and I’m well ahead with my Xmas plans, and I genuinely cannot wait to get married, so why did I spend a good few hours wanting to jump in my car and disappear to the wilds of Scotland?
The mind is a weird thing.
I remember reading that you can sometimes confuse extremely positive and negative emotions as the physical feelings they produce are so similar, so I’m hoping it was some kind of excitement overload, rather than an onset of an onslaught of anxiety.
Time will tell, one way or another.
RC 7-12-15
I’ve made a change to our staff rota next week, and given my underlings another early pressie. I’m doing the early shift the day after our Christmas meal, so the other guys can feel free to have a drink without worrying about getting up and struggling into work with a hangover.
Did I hear someone say ‘Boss of the Year’???
RC 5-12-15
I may be about to set myself a weird, long-lasting blog-related challenge. So far, since I started all this writing and sharing lark back in the dark days of the late noughties, I have managed to increase my number of postings year-on-year. It had to end at some point, and I think this may be the year it happens. Am I likely to feel like popping online to update you when I have things to do like, for instance, celebrating Christmas and getting married? I don’t think so. So it may well be that I fail to break my record this year and keep my run going. ‘No matter’ I thought today while in a moment of boredom at work, I can consider doing a MIRROR EFFECT challenge instead!
If you write down the number of blog postings I have done each year in a line you get 83-172-180-200-215-226-228. So if I can make it to 226 this year, and then 215 next year, I will be making my way to a lovely palindromic number that will satisfy my weird mental numerical obsessions no end! It will also see me taking on a challenge that will see me committed to keeping this blog going until at least 2021! (in which year I will complete my loop by once again doing 83 posts)
Today’s title, by the way, is a reference to a song by the excellent Paul Simon.
Look him up, kids, he’s good!
RC 3-12-15
My advent indulgence this morning gave me a Snickers bars and a picture of a wreath.
A week today is our staff Christmas meal out (on me!)
Three weeks from today I’ll be saying ‘tomorrow I get married!”
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…. “DON’T…… PANIC…… !!!!”
RC 2-12-15
I treated myself to a quite pricey luxury advent calendar.
This morning I got a small pack of Maltesers and a picture of a reindeer.
Now I am off to un-box our Christmas tree and add decorations to same!
I love this month.
RC 1-12-15
I seem to have held off the dreadful cold that's been threatening my respiratory system for the past 48 hours. The good old girls in the supermarket pharmacy did me proud with various concoctions and suggestions and I followed their advice and feel better for it. I’m not sure I was supposed to take EVERYTHING they sent me home with but never mind. I’ve never felt better! And if the combination of various drugs causes long-lasted liver damage then so be it. At least I’m not having to wipe my nose every five minutes like some of the other poor saps around Suffolk at the moment!
RC 29-11-15
Title of this blog
Merges ‘Friday’ and ‘Haiku’
I am soooooo clever!
RC 27-11-15
I may have flu.
Or maybe it’s just a tickly throat and I’m worrying needlessly.
Either way I have brought home several pharmaceutical products from the supermarket and my pill-popping hand is ready to roll.
In the meantime, I’m going to try and finish my Christmas shopping online. I’ve never bought all my pressies WHILE WE’RE STILL IN NOVEMBER and I’d really like to achieve that this year. If Amazon and the postal service get themselves in gear I might even be able to get them all DELIVERED here before December 1st. Hell, if they get themselves in gear enough to bring them to me by the weekend I might even have time to get them ordered, delivered and WRAPPED before we reach day one on our advent calendars! Wouldn’t that be something??
Of course, it’s very much dependent on how bad this flu is….
RC 26-11-15
Shit man, this time next week we’ll be in December!
That fills me with both joy and fear. It also fills me with dread, anticipation, hatred, reluctance and (for some reason) indigestion.
Had to go for a final wedding suit fitting today. All very unpleasant, but at least I had Ted with me for company. Did I get round to telling you he’s going to be my Best Man?
I wasn’t going to have one at first, but Philippa kind of talked me into it, saying “You need to pick someone to be a witness for us anyway, you might as well honour them with an official title.“ Then I agonised over who to pick, then when the answer popped into my head it felt like the obvious choice, and one I should have made in the first place. He’s the closest thing I’ve ever had to a father, and I’ve talked to him about things I’ve never talked to anyone else about, so I guess he’s like a best friend as well. He was speechless when I asked him, then welled up with tears, then tried to pass it off as ‘nothing.’ But he said yes, and I’m so glad he did.
Now I have to work all day Saturday to make up for missing today. Thanks for swapping, Jim, and enjoy your weekend off…
RC 25-11-15
Rained all day today. I felt rather miserable sitting in my little office doing paperwork. Then I felt rather miserable when I covered lunches and had to deal with customers who were themselves rather miserable. Then I felt even more miserable when I had to go into the huge, cold storeroom above the managers office in the supermarket and dig out the Christmas decorations that we’re designated to use in the garage. Then I had to suffer the awful combination of overenthusiastic fans of Xmas who whooped with joy while I untangled a string of lights, and those who hate it and castigated me for daring to put up some tinsel in November.
People drive me nuts.
RC 24-11-15
Well so much for the ongoing Autumn.
Bloody freezing today, and awful, awful weather.
Lots of rain, and more wind than you get at Ted and Beryl’s after one of her family roasts….
Never mind. Gave me an excuse to stay in and do naff all. Hoovered a bit but apart from that it’s been movies all the way, and will be until midnight at least.
If there’s a better combination than a Saturday evening and ‘The Dark Knight Trilogy’ I haven’t found it yet during my time on Earth.
RC 21-11-15
I had to deal with the most bizarre complaint form I’ve ever seen in my life today. I wish I could have copied it, and scanned it, and put it online for you to look at, but apparently I’m not allowed to for some silly reason or other.
The basic gist was that a van driver called into the garage recently, and was a bit peckish. He helped himself to a Mars bar and a Scotch egg from the fridge. Somehow (and I know not how) he had survived thirty-odd years of life without ever encountering a Scotch egg before, or having the slightest idea what one was. Hence the nature of his complaint: “I’m a frequent whiskey drinker and I can say for definite when the flavour is present and when it isn’t. There was obviously NO Scotch in this product anywhere. Feel assured I will be contacting Trading Standings over this issue very shortly.”
I wanted to wait until he comes in again and then ridicule him mercilessly in front of other customers but apparently I’m not allowed to for some silly reason or other, so I sent him a £5 voucher and a letter of explanation.
Bit of a shitty thing to waste my 1500th blog on, but there you go. Done now.
RC 20-11-15
My next blog posting will be no.1500!
Weird to think now that I very nearly gave up at 1000. I’m glad I didn’t. I feel committed for life now. I think I’ll be doing this for years to come. Unless we all die in a horrendous nuclear war, or an electro-magnetic pulse takes out the internet, or becoming a married parent takes away all my spare typing time. (You can decide for yourselves which of those outcomes is more likely)
RC 19-11-15
I think I’ve broken through all the wedding nerves and wedding doubts and I’m now really looking forward to it.
It helps that the ceremony is at 10am - I won’t have ages to spend pacing around and fretting, we can just get there and get on with it. It also helps that we’ve only got 24 people at the register office, and they’re people we really want to be there.
Philippa’s mum is still unhappy that we’re staying together the night before the wedding, but that’s just something traditional and superstitious and it doesn’t bother us at all. We both think it’s hugely romantic that we’ll be spending our last night of singlehood together, because in our minds we’ve been committed to each other for years so it becoming legal isn‘t a huge step for either of us. Who needs a ‘last night of freedom’ when you don’t want one? Why should we do certain things just because they’re normally done in the run-up to a wedding?
It’s our big day and we’re doing things exactly how we want to.
So we’re having the day of December 23rd at a luxury health spa at a local hotel, then we’ll have an evening meal in the hotel restaurant before retiring to one of their best rooms, then in the morning of Christmas Eve we shall have breakfast together, then get ready together, then travel together to the venue at which we shall become married. If that’s not accepted as ‘the usual way’ then tough. It’s what we want. We want to express our love for each other and join in matrimony for life and that‘s all that matters. We’re not interested in doing things ‘the usual way.’
I’m not even having a stag do, despite protestations from my old colleague Jared. He’s decided to go ahead and plan one anyway, which I’ve already insisted I won’t turn up for, so it will basically be him and his mates using me getting married as an excuse to lose themselves in an orgy of drugs (not that they need an excuse most weekends…)
I don’t want all those money-making trappings and peripheral shite that goes with a wedding - I just want to be Philippa’s husband, and the sooner it happens the better.
And at this point I refer you back to the title of this blog….
RC 18-11-15
Something religious for Nathan
Something teachy for Hannah
Something romantic for Philippa
(Please don’t tell them and ruin the surprise)
RC 17-11-15
I’m aware that this extended Autumn can’t last forever, so trying to stay positive about the imminent changes I’ve written a few THINGS I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO IN WINTER:
1. Getting to make hot chocolate by melting snow in a saucepan and adding milk and cocoa powder.
2. Staying in bed all day on a Sunday when it’s wet and cold outside and only light for six hours.
3. Philippa cuddling up close every night because she hates to feel cold in bed.
RC 16-11-15
It was warm today, but incredibly windy, so instead of my planned bike ride I decided to stay in and try some interesting new food combinations. As a result I have four important words to share with you - four words which may just encompass the best gastronomic discovery I’ve made in my lifetime.
Ready?
GINGER NUTS WITH CURRANTS.
Enjoy.
RC 15-11-15
I think I’m going to start watching some Christmassy films. For three reasons:
1. I’m having to decorate the garage early next week so I need to get in the mood a bit.
2. Our Xmas this year will be interrupted by a wedding, so it’s nice to get some Yuletide stuff in while I can.
3. It’ll distract me from thinking about the wedding.
Philippa and I have been discussing the idea of setting up a business together when we’re married. Maybe housesitting, as most of the current agencies seem to be run by incompetent fuzzheads.
The first paragraph of this blog has made me realise that I should get my arse in gear with Christmas shopping (see point no.2 above) or it’s likely I’ll run out of time or forget completely after being over-swamped by wedding nerves.
Amazon, here I come….
RC 14-11-15
Great cycling weather
But I work during daytime
So bike is unused
Six weeks til Christmas
Less than six weeks til wedding
Two months til I’m calm….
Another weekend
That’s Saturday and Sunday
In case you don’t know
Not many hedgehogs
Too much construction by man
No hedges; no hogs
This haiku today
Is full of shit and nonsense
Much like Rory’s head
RC 13-11-15
I make no apology for using the word ‘Christmas’ in yesterday’s blog title. You may say November 11th is too early, but I watched telly for three hours last night and EVERY AD BREAK had a big, fat, steaming Christmas advert, so you’re wrong.
(By the way - I must get out of this habit of using capital letters to highlight words as if I’m shouting. It’s pathetic.)
RC 12-11-15
I’ve arranged a little something for my staff for Christmas. We’re all going out to a Chinese restaurant on an all-you-can-eat evening special. A little more pricey than buying them a box of chocolates, but much more heartfelt, I’m sure you’ll agree. They’ve been great all year, and between them they’re covering my wedding break so I feel I owe them a big thank you. A table of twelve at £8.99 each isn’t going to bankrupt me is it? I’m not going to let them bring partners though, that would be far too generous, even for me.
It’s got me into trouble with my superiors. How dare I for arrange ONE EVENING THIS YEAR when all the staff will be off? Bastards. Thankfully my old mentor/comrade Mac (who did my training last year and has been a constant source of companionship and information) offered to cover it for me, so there’s an experienced manager on site til close-up. Again, this was frowned upon by Head Office, but Mac said “f**k ‘em” and I agreed wholeheartedly. I’ve improved the efficiency of the garage and profits are up in every possible way so if they can’t give me leeway to treat my staff AT MY OWN EXPENSE, NOT THEIRS, then they can stuff themselves like a Christmas turkey.
RC 11-11-15
I had lunch in the supermarket canteen today. Sausage and baked bean casserole. God it was nice. One of the nicest meals I’ve eaten anywhere, ever, not just in a work canteen. The ladies that run everything there are called Stella and Ambrosia (honestly) and whichever one of them made the casserole is going to be my next wife. It was LOVELY.
Trouble is, my body has reacted rather nastily to it all. Philippa has only been in from work for ten minutes and she’s already banished me to a separate room.
I may end up sleeping alone and crippled with indigestion, but my God it was worth it.
RC 10-11-15
Still wet here in Suffolk. But let’s not dwell on that. Let’s ignore the downpour, and the darkness, and the driving wind, and the onset of Winter, and concentrate instead on things of a positive nature:
1. The fact that I’m getting married on Xmas Eve means I get 10 days off work at the busiest time of year.
2. The fact that I’m working in a filling station means ‘the busiest time of year’ will be nowhere near as busy as it would be if I worked in a supermarket.
3. The fact that I am the manager means I do not have to deal with shit dumped on me from a manager above me.
4. I am soon to be married to the woman of my dreams.
5. It’s only 139 days until we change the clocks again.
RC 9-11-15
Philippa kissed me this morning and said “It’s 45 days til our wedding!”
I love her and I can’t wait to be her husband, but every time she does something like that I get a rush of panic and feel like I’m going to throw up.
Nerves are weird, aren’t they?
Luckily we had a day at Ted and Beryl’s so I had the opportunity to be looked after and fed and to forget about our looming nuptials. Or so I thought…… But Beryl, being the ‘eternal maternal’ soul that she is, couldn’t stop going on about it and talked of little else. Thankfully Ted understood how I was feeling and dragged me off to the other room for a game of chess ‘just to get a break from her waffling.’
I used to play lots of games with Ted and I only realised today how much I’ve missed it. He’s great company, and hugely competitive, so as long as you let him win everything you tend to have a good laugh. When it comes to chess, ‘letting him win’ is a bit of a moot statement, as he normally kicks my arse within ten minutes anyway. He may be getting older and frailer by the day, but his mind is still as sharp as a sabre. His shaky hands struggle to move the pieces on the board, but the brain that decides what those moves will be hasn’t diminished in the slightest.
He still torments Beryl as well. But he is also capable of some heart-warming moments of tenderness and devotion. When I shared with him that I keep feeling sick with nerves he said “Every groom feels like that. I felt like that every second for months before Beryl finally dragged me into the church. The morning of the wedding I would have done anything and gone anywhere to avoid going through the damned service. But think what I would have missed out on if I had. Beryl’s a pain in the arse at times, but I wouldn’t be worth an aardvark’s fart without her.”
That may sound odd to you, but if you knew Ted you’d know that’s about as good a compliment as he can give.
45 days to go…. Blimey……
RC 8-11-15
Man I love fireworks. With the whizzing and the banging and the donuts and the warm weather! After a shitty day of wind and rain it was great to be standing outside, drinking hot soup and holding a hot dog, and watching several thousand pounds worth of colourful explosives detonate in the sky above me!
Now I am about to watch ‘The Day The Earth Caught Fire’ and I just hope that hasn’t happened anywhere tonight, what with all these bonfires…
RC 7-11-15
2130 GMT
I’d completely forgotten that we’re off to a Fireworks do tonight! Hurrah and Huzzah!
It’s cheered me up no end. Mind you, it’s been raining solid since 6am (again) so God knows if the event will even go ahead. And if it does, the field will probably be a quagmire. Hmmm, where are my wellies? In fact, do I even own any wellies? And do people even call them ‘wellies’ anymore?
Either way I ‘d best go check in the garage. That’s where most of my things have been thrown, to make way for Philippa’s multitudinous collection of fashionable footwear. What is it about women and shoes????
RC 7-11-15
This has been a long week. Longer than a giraffe’s neck that’s been stretched in an unfortunate accident, or deliberately on a torture rack. Looooo-oooo-oooong week.
I think it’s because we’ve reached that point where I have to watch the daylight fade while I’m still at work, and then I have to drive home with my headlights on. I get used to it eventually, but it hurts like Hell when it first happens.
Philippa seems to have hit a turning point with her attitude to the wedding. “I’ll just be glad when it’s over now” has escaped from her lips at least twice this week. The good news is that almost everything is done and prepared, so we can relax a little bit now and look forward to the big day without panicking or attacking each other. I think we’ve done quite well, actually. I know so many people who spent months at loggerheads and then hated each other for the first year they were married, whereas we seem to have got through most of the planning trauma intact. Maybe me keeping out of it as much as possible and just saying ‘yes’ every so often was the key…
I’ve just had a horrible thought.
I have booked my wedding day off work, haven’t I??????????
RC 6-11-15
My staff at work surprised me with an anniversary card today! To say congratulations on completing my first year in charge and to thank me for my efforts as their boss! It was as welcome as it was unexpected I can tell you. It had a lovely “Today you are 1” badge on the front and was accompanied by a quite large box of lovely chocolates. They were a brand that we don’t sell in the supermarket, so I know they made an effort and went somewhere to buy them rather than just nip over the road and get 10% off with their staff discount.
I was, and remain, genuinely touched.
I’m a ‘share and share alike’ kind of guy, so I opened the choccies at lunchtime and handed them round. Then I took the remainder into the office with me while I sorted out some spreadsheets. My intention was to save a few to bring home and give to Philippa, but unfortunately that didn’t quite work out. I got distracted by computer problems and fell into old habits of just reaching out and grabbing one from the box every minute or so without really thinking about it. It’s the new flavours that were getting me, you see. ‘Apple Crunch’ and ‘Salted Caramel Bite’ are making their debut this year and, oh my God, they’re incredible.
So I went past that point at which you still have time to stop yourself before you feel sick; and ended up feeling sick. I also felt like my body was convulsing in some kind of diabetic shutdown, and my teeth felt like they’d been stripped of enamel and were just bare nerves hanging in my mouth. I’ve only just now stopped my hands shaking enough to type this blog post.
Is it too early in November to claim it was Christmas over-indulgence???
RC 3-11-15
Man, I have a hangover.
My head is pounding and my guts are churning and my neck feels like someone’s twisted it round nine times. So if you can read this blog posting quietly I’ll be very, very grateful.
I feel awful, but at least I’m up and about. Neither Hannah nor Philippa have surfaced from bed yet. That Bacardi Spice must be pretty potent stuff. I’m glad I stuck to the rum-flavoured Foster’s Rocks. Mind you, eight cans before opening that bottle of wine may have been pushing it a little.
If you’ll excuse me now, I’m feeling rather nauseous again and the sofa is suddenly looking very attractive. It’s time for a few paracetamol and a rest before ‘NFL Live from Wembley’
RC 1-11-15
The party tonight should be good, but only because Hannah is coming with us. She and I can get involved in some sibling drinking and chatting while Philippa knocks back wine with her sporty chums. Apparently there’s live music and some ‘Hallowe’en games’ planned but personally I’ll be happy with some free grub and a cheap bar.
It’s so nice to know I won’t be home getting pestered by trick-or-treaters. You’d think we’d be safe living in our little house in the Suffolk countryside but last year we had a group turn up unexpectedly. We gave them an apple and one Celebrations each and sent them on their way.
This year I’ve bought in loads of Haribo and some fun-size Bounty, but they’re for personal use, not to share with the little shits who might come a-knocking. That’s one good thing about Hallowe’en - you get some lovely offers in the sweet aisle!
RC 31-10-15
Philippa doesn’t like my anti-Winter routine. She says it’s selfish and self-indulgent and needs to stop soon or I’ll be turning up at my wedding with a head injury. She doesn’t threaten me very often and when she does, it tends to turn me on.
But tonight I could see she meant it, so I put down the drumsticks and postponed the movie and spent some time with her instead.
It was lovely.
Who needs drumming and games when you have conversation and cuddles?
Mind you, Philippa’s asleep now so I might nip out to the lounge and pop on ‘The Matrix.’
RC 30-10-15
I have a plan to combat the Winter Blues. I’m going to lose myself every evening in films, games, drumming and alcohol and just ignore the outside world until March.
Philippa was out being sporty tonight so I had a chance for a trial run. I had a quick tea when I got in, then bashed the Hell out of my drums for ninety minutes. Then I had a quick shower, opened a bottle of wine, and threw myself into WWE wrestling on my games console of choice. It was, I have to say, marvellous.
Tomorrow night I’m planning Led Zeppelin, Stella Artois and “Mr Smith Goes To Washington”
Marvellous.
RC 29-10-15
Another day of wall-to-wall, dawn-to-dusk rain, but that’s ok, I’m getting used to it!
I’m driving home in the dark every night now, but that’s ok, it’s only for a few months.
Am I convincing anyone?
Winter sucks. It’s shit. It’s a big barrel of steaming shitty shitness that goes on too long and is too dark and too cold. I’m sure there are people who enjoy it, but they’re wrong ‘uns.
Give me Spring, Summer and Autumn in constant rotation and that will be fine with me.
RC 28-10-15
This is how bored I was at work today:
The letters O, P, S and T - you can use them to spell OPTS, POST, POTS, SPOT, STOP and TOPS.
Is there any other group of 4 letters that can make so many different words?
That’s how bored I was today.
RC 27-10-15
The downside of changing the clocks back on a night when you’re drinking is that you stay up longer than you normally would and therefore consume more alcohol. It got to half-past-midnight and we were thinking about turning in, and then Hannah said “Hell, if we change the clocks now it’ll still be Saturday and we can go on a bit longer” and so that’s what we did.
Sunday was not pretty.
In fact, I’d go so far as to say that I’ve only really felt myself again in the past two hours or so. There’s an old cliché I’ve heard that goes ‘hangovers get worse as you get older’ and I think it may be true. I certainly don’t remember feeling as bad after a nights drinking in my twenties as I did for most of yesterday.
My sister and my fiancee are a bad influence on me. Which is a shame, because Hannah is coming to stay again next Saturday….
RC 26-10-15
Somehow, I made it through to Saturday.
You may have noticed this week that I’ve been a little down, grumpy and irritable. I think it’s the time of year. I had a great Summer, but now it’s long gone I’m starting to trick myself into believing that I wasted all the good weather we had and now it’s not coming back for another nine months or so. I don’t like Winter all that much, and it’s here now.
Aaaaannnyyyyyway, let’s not dwell on that! Exciting times ahead, with Hannah arriving first thing tomorrow and not going home until Monday night. Philippa is going to nab her for weddingy stuff this afternoon, so I get to spend time on my own on a Saturday! I feel back-to-back Bond films coming on in anticipation of seeing ‘Spectre’ next weekend. That, and a bottle of red, and I’m set fair for a Super Saturday!
RC 24-10-15
Most of the local schools have broken up for half-term. They finished yesterday and they don’t go back until Monday 2nd November. What the Hell is going on? When I was at school we were lucky to get a full week off in October, now they’re at home for 10 days??? No wonder the country is falling apart at the seams.
At least it pissed down again today, so most of them would have been stuck indoors and unable to play outside.
The good news is that Hannah is off work as well, so she’s gonna come and stay with us for the weekend! That should be a giggle. We’ll get some wine in and maybe pop to the cinema or something. Not sure yet, we’ll have to see what’s on. The schedule is probably full of cartoons and kids films so they can eke every available penny out of hard-working parents who have to somehow keep their kids entertained over the next 10 days while it’s raining.
TEN DAYS, for ****’s sake………
RC 22-10-15
Rained all day today.
Is there anything more miserable than a wet British day? With the low overcast constancy of cloud and the depression of incessant drizzle?
Sometimes, in the Summer, I fail to understand why anyone ever emigrates; why anyone even deems it necessary to venture abroad for vacation, when the glorious English countryside shines so bright and so beautiful. But on days like today, I get it. I understand. I see why they up-sticks and swap shores, and I envy them.
RC 21-10-15
I’m not exactly setting any records for blogging during October am I?
I don’t care! Life is busy and the weather has been pleasant so I’ve been cycling, walking, drinking and avoiding wedding nerves.
Philippa has rejected my request to go away for the weekend over Halloween, but thankfully we’ve been invited to a party so at least I can avoid annoying trick-or-treaters. I’ll just have to put up with sports club folk in fancy dress behaving like nine-year-olds and bobbing for apples.
I’m sure I’ll cope, one way or another.
RC 20-10-15
Winter has arrived
Do I turn the heating on?
Or wear a jumper?
Much less daylight now
And dropping temperatures
Thank God for onesies
‘Indiana Jones:
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull’
Is such a shit film
RC 16-10-15
And suddenly, somehow, we are halfway through October.
Doesn’t life fly by?
Next thing you know it’ll be Christmas, and I’ll be married!
I’m having one of those ‘doubt’ days where I’m anxious about the wedding and just want to cancel the whole thing rather than go through with it. Everything’s booked and paid for now so it would be a waste of money if we didn’t go ahead, but I’m still giving it careful consideration. If I feel this bad now, what the Hell will my nerves be like on December 23rd? I’ll have to have some tranquilisers hidden in my pocket, and maybe a bottle of tequila hooked directly into my bloodstream.
Hannah said that at the last wedding that took place at Nathan’s church, the Best Man was so hungover he vomited in the font, so if I do keel over on the day I guess I won’t be the first.
RC 15-10-15
I’ve gone on a bit of a mad shopping spree. I’m not sure what happened, but I think it’s Philippa’s fault for going out tonight and leaving me on my own. She should know by now that I can’t be trusted to behave in my own company. It started off innocently enough - I just thought I’d have a quick look at second-hand wetsuits on eBay to see what they were going for - but then I just lost control and went into full-on impulse-buying mode. I don’t treat myself very often so when I buy something nice I get that pleasant tingly feeling, and tonight I just kept chasing it and finding other useless shit that I convinced myself I could do with.
So now I have an all-weather wetsuit and boots on the way, as well as ‘dampeners’ for each of my drums (and I don’t even know what they do!!), a large build-it-yourself model of the Apollo 13 rocket (‘to wile away the Winter evenings’ I told myself) and a Limited Edition signed copy of Bill Oddie’s Guide To Great British Birds.
Thank God Amazon have a 14-day cooling-off period so I can send them all back before Philippa sees them and calls off the wedding so she doesn’t end up hitched to a madman.
RC 14-10-15
It’s certainly turned a bit colder this week. And darker. Oh God, here comes Winter….
They keep asking at work when we’re going to ‘fancy-dress-up’ the garage for Hallowe’en. Not sure I’ve mentioned this before but I have a deep hatred for Hallowe’en and all it stands for. I’m not one of those mental fanaticists who claim it glorifies witchcraft and teaches children to worship the devil, I just hate anything that provokes fancy-dressed infants to turn up unannounced at my door. Maybe I’ll go online and try and find some US Military sound-activated machine-guns that I can install on the drive.
Anyway, on a happier note, I’ve been playing the drums a lot and I think I’m getting better! It’s taken a long time (and a little effort) but it’s almost like I’m a budding instrumentalist, rather than just some clumsy twat who fancies having a bash at a drum kit. If this continues I might some day get round to finding other musicians to play with.
RC 13-10-15
Lovely last few days
I’ve been stocking up on Sun
and Vitamin D
The lawn needs a mow
Bloody grass is shooting up
Like it’s Spring again
Not long til Christmas
And yet it feels like Summer
What a weird climate
Cycling tomorrow
Using the Spring-like weather
To get bigger thighs
I enjoy haiku
I would love to write some more
But now it’s Wine Time!!
RC 9-10-15
I’ve been away from Blogland because I’ve had a lot to think about. Tom was his usual self on Saturday but I drank my way through the evening and it was okay. Poor Philippa, who was driving, and is also the one who most finds him difficult to deal with, was nearly in tears by nine-thirty. We’d heard all about his latest business ideas (which need to be good because his empire is close to crumbling) and all about his various children and their various talents and ailments, and we’d had to listen to how our choice of Christmas Eve as a wedding date was a bad idea because astrologically speaking it wouldn’t bode well for our future together….
Then he shocked us with this:
“It isn’t lost on me that your relationship started while you were both working for me. For that reason, I feel a kind of responsibility towards you, and for that reason I think I should shoulder part of the expense. So I wanted to see you tonight to let you know that I want to pay for your wedding.”
We were stunned. Philippa sat quietly and looked like she was about to say something regretful, so I leant forward and said “That’s incredibly good of you but really isn’t necessary. You have six children of your own, three of whom are daughters, I really think you’d be better putting the money aside for their weddings.”
He smiled and said “If my daughters get married it will be a simple, natural ceremony with very little pizzazz. And I already have enough put away to cover any costs I might incur. And besides,” he said to Philippa, “You’ve made the company far more profitable with your efforts than I could ever have done on my own. This is my way to pay you back and say thank you.”
“Why can’t he just give me a pay rise?” said Philippa on the way home. I could tell she was pissed off because she never speeds and always drives so carefully, and yet she had me gripping the seat for dear life as we screamed around the country roads.
It was so hard to know what to do. It was a lovely gesture but could have been nothing more than a power move on his part. We don’t need the contribution, but if we let him shoulder some of the cost we can have a nicer holiday afterwards. I don’t have a problem taking the man’s money but obviously it’s more complicated for Philippa.
In the end we reached a compromise. Tom is going to give us a cheque which he THINKS will be towards the wedding, but we’ll add the money to our ‘house deposit fund.’ That way, as Philippa so eloquently put it, “We can enjoy our honeymoon without feeling indebted to that lunatic.”
Families, eh?
RC 8-10-15
You’d be amazed how many people have asked me for my opinion on the ‘diesel emissions evasion scandal.” I really don’t care and I really don’t know much about it but I feel I should say something in reply, so I just direct them to the company website. I’m sure there’ll be a statement of some kind in there amongst the crap about Christmas and the excuses for people getting less storecard points than they used to.
Today we are seeing our old boss, Tom. You remember? Philippa’s uncle, Father Of Many, Collector of Crystals and Believer of Shite Spiritualism, the ‘Wallpaper King of North Norfolk’? He wants to see us about something and so invited us over for a meal and Philippa felt obliged to say ‘yes.’ Last time this happened he had some ludicrous job offer that would have seen us take on a franchise and probably bankrupt ourselves, so I’m looking forward to it about as much as an elephant looks forward to root canal on it’s tusks. My plan is to take at least three bottles of wine and drink them all before he starts talking..
RC 3-10-15
I’m sure months didn’t fly by this quickly when I was in my twenties. It feels like I’ve barely finished getting used to the passing of August and now I’m having to say Hello to October. I suppose this is what happens when life is busy and you’re distracted by work woes and marriage plans - you’re concentrating on occurrences in your own little existence while the World goes on turning regardless; continuing it’s merry slog through the Heavens oblivious to my ‘important’ cares and worries.
Jesus, where did that just come from?
I explained that about as well as a blind man would describe a sunset that is going on behind him. Not exactly Prof. Brian Cox, am I? Never mind - I bet he wouldn’t be able to pre-plan the petrol needs of a North Suffolk town with the panache and ability that I can, so stuff him. I’m happy with who I am.
30-9-15
One of the managers at work has got in trouble for refusing to connect with her superiors on social media. She looked genuinely lost and confused when they were explaining why they were disappointed, and she insisted that she had been unable to sign up for LinkedIn despite all her best efforts to locate it online.
After a long and protracted conversation, it turned out she had spent countless hours looking for a website called “Link Tin”
The mind boggles.
Well - hers doesn’t, obviously, it just stumbles along like it’s weighed down with boots full of custard, but you see what I mean…
RC 28-9-15
The sea was bloody freezing today. If I don’t get a wetsuit soon I’m going to throw a big tantrum or steal one. I don’t see how I can justify spending a lot of money on something to play with when we have a wedding to pay for, so I haven’t even bothered looking them up. But if I have a spare moment of boredom at work this week (which, let’s be honest, is pretty much a given) then I may take a look at ‘secondhand wetsuits dot com’ and see if I can find something cheap. Hopefully someone of equal size to myself recently got hit by a stray speedboat and suffered massive, fatal head injuries. Then his suit will be undamaged but unwanted and I can scoop it up for a tenner or so. Unless his wife wants to keep it as some bizarre, morbid memento of their awful time together. I bet she will. Bloody women are always out to spoil my fun.
Anyway, I digress.
The sea was a bit calm so the surfing was a bit disappointing. Plus my fingers felt like they were freezing solid within five minutes of my body hitting the water. Thankfully we had a takeaway tea on the beach and I had the best haddock and chips I’ve had in my life, so that made up for everything. Now I’m going to see if Philippa fancies using her body heat to warm me out of my sea-induced chilliness. My suspicion is I’ll end up having a hot bath instead, but there‘s no harm in asking…..
RC 27-9-15
I may have overdone the exercise today. It was soooooooo gorgeous that I went for a bike ride that just got longer and longer. Then, after lunch, I mowed the lawns and weeded the garden and got rid of all the nettles. Then Philippa suggested we go for a long walk. By the time we got home my shoulders were seizing up and my legs felt like sacks of stones. Maybe I should have stretched before and after cycling, eh?
Determined not to learn any lessons, I’ve agreed to meet chums at the beach tomorrow for some surfing fun. I may have to take a day off sick on Monday if my body needs time to recover.
I don’t know why we call Indian Summers Indian Summers, but I love them.
RC 26-9-15
Late Summer evening
Sat in the garden with wine
and my fiancee
A beautiful moon
A beautiful Philippa
A beautiful night
I love this house now
I also love Philippa
Life is kinda good
RC 25-9-15
It’s scary to think that my wedding is only three months away…..
I keep trying to distract myself with things like work, and cheese, but however much I try to ignore it my thoughts keep drifting back to it.
It doesn’t help that Philippa seems to think every waking moment should be spent fretting about it and planning it.
In truth, we’ve done just about everything we can do at this stage. We’ve even booked the entertainment for the evening do. Have you heard of a band called ‘Nettle Rash’? No, neither have I, and I’m a bit worried their name makes them sound like a thrash metal combo of some sort. But apparently they do acoustic versions of popular stuff from the 1950s right up to today, and the guitarist is also a DJ so once they’ve finished their set he ‘spins a few discs’ in a disco sty-lee and people can dance if they choose to while I try to get Philippa back to the hotel room well before midnight.
I know I occasionally moan about the marriage thing, but the truth is I can’t wait to be Philippa’s husband and I’ve never been so sure about anything in my life.
I just wish we could have the marriage without the wedding.
RC 23-9-15
Hannah is going to appear in a school production of Hamlet! It’s with the High School that is attached to her Primary School. The GCSE Drama students are putting it on but needed extra cast members so some of the teachers have had to step in and help out. They knew of Hannah’s performing background so asked her if she’d get involved and she leapt at the chance. I’ve been calling her ‘Ophelia’ all day but it turns out she’s playing Gertrude, the elderly Queen of Denmark! I’ve thrown lots of jokes at her about ‘not needing make-up’ and all that obvious shite, but it’s not bothering her in the slightest. Either I’ve lost my wittical touch or she’s so confident in herself nowadays that what I say doesn’t affect her.
RC 20-9-15
2105
A Midnight despair
Insomniac wanderings
Eaten too much cheese
RC 20-9-15
It’s been raining.
Heavily.
All day.
The skies are as glum as a Lottery winner who has just gone to cash in their ticket,
only to be told it expired last week.
I am sinking.
Quickly.
Into SAD.
Or maybe I’m just miserable because it’s too wet to walk, and too cold to cycle,
and I can’t get the sun I seek.
It is boiling.
The water.
In the kettle.
(Not the temperature outside) So I plan to warm myself with a mug of soup
made of potato and leek.
RC 16-9-15
Yeah, all right, I admit it, my enthusiasm for the cheese/dream investigations has wavered somewhat. To be honest, my favourites cheeses have all been done now and I’ve started dreading the nightly intake and what it’s doing to my digestive system.
Now I understand why most scientists find volunteers to use in their experiments, rather than carrying them out on themselves.
Next time I’ll try and persuade Hannah to get involved and leave all the eating work to her. Or I’ll advertise on a jobs website and get someone destitute and desperate to accept minimum wage to gorge themselves nightly on dairy products. But for now, I’m pausing the whole think pending some kind of funding from somewhere.
Now I have an unfinished report on my computer, and three shelves full of cheese in my fridge.
RC 14-9-15
We went out for lunch today. For dessert I selected ‘Belgian waffle with Neapolitan ice-cream.’ What was delivered must have had enough calories in it to keep a herd of elephants energetic enough to run a marathon. It was an inch-thick, eight-inch square waffle, with a large (and I mean LAAARRRGGGEEE) scoop of chocolate, a large scoop of vanilla and a large scoop of strawberry ice-cream, all covered in hot chocolate sauce, and then (because that wasn’t indulgent enough, obviously) it had a crumbled Flake drizzled over the top of it as well. I think I’ll be on a sugar rush for a decade.
No wonder they keep saying people are getting fatter and tooth decay is getting worse. Why is all this necessary????? Why aren’t these places being shut down, or forced to limit the amount of chocolate products that can be used in one helping? I mean, at least cut it down to ONE mega-sugary ingredient per bowl rather than the 12 or so I had plonked down in front of me at lunchtime.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I ate it all, but really………….
RC 13-9-15
Autumnal onset
Acorns take their final fall
Leaves go green to brown
Indian Summer
Would set me up for Winter
By delaying it
The greedy sparrows
Have eaten all my bird food
Fat little bastards
RC 12-9-15
According to the website CHEESE.COM (look it up - I’m not kidding) there are over 1750 varieties of cheese produced around the world. So if I set myself the challenge of trying them all, one per day, I should finish my experiment sometime in June 2020.
Have I mentioned before how much I love science?
In other news (that isn’t really other news) Philippa listened to my cheese-related plans with her usual sneering indifference. She accused me of ‘going off alone down one of my weird, dark streets’ and said she wished I could be so obsessive about our wedding.
She’ll change her opinion when I’m holding the Nobel Prize.
RC 11-9-15
I didn’t have a dream last night but I did wake up with terrible indigestion and heartburn. I’ve decided to modify things slightly and eat my chosen cheese earlier in the evening, to give my innards time to absorb and digest it. That way I hope to have it’s dream-activating goodness floating through my system without the physical bulk of the cheese itself resting inside my stomach when I lay down.
God I love science.
RC 10-9-15
I’ve decided to re-discover my Scientific bent by conducting a little experiment.
I’m going to prove or disprove once and for all whether eating cheese before bedtime makes you dream. And if it does, does the variety of cheese you choose determine which type of dream you have and what you dream about?
I’ve always believed you should dive in headfirst when inspiration strikes your pool, so after work I popped to the supermarket deli counter and stocked up on samples and I’m kicking it off tonight.
At ten-thirty I shall eat a large chunk of edam, then have a shower before settling into bed with a novel. I shall have a notepad and pen beside my bed, and we shall see what transpires overnight.
Tomorrow it’s gorgonzola, and there’s a lovely wheel of camembert to get through at the weekend.
I love science.
RC 9-9-15
I had a bizarre dream last night where I was a scientific advisor on the sequel to ‘Jurassic World.’ It was being directed by that bloke with the beard (not Spielberg, or Lucas, but the skinny one with the face like a stretched skeleton)
He kept having a go at me because every shot was costing at least a million dollars, and I couldn’t tell him the difference between a Velociraptor and a Utahraptor.
I just kept saying “I’m a physicist mate, not a paleontologist, I’ve been telling you that since the day we started filming.”
In the end he threw me off the boat we were filming on and I was left bobbing about in the open sea while the boat disappeared into the distance. All I could think to myself was “Philippa is going to be so angry I lost my surfboard.”
Madness.
RC 8-9-15
I had backache today. I guess that’s what happens when you don’t exercise very often and then you indulge in a couple of hours of Sunday surfing. Maybe I should start stretching before and afterwards to stop myself getting horrendous muscle pain. Or maybe I should give it all up and go back to being a fat sofa-bound slob whose only activity is going to the kitchen to get a drink and more Wotsits.
Work dragged by as a result. Everything seems to move in slow-motion when you’re racked with pain and uncomfortable. Whenever I sat down, I felt like standing up, and when I was standing up, I kept stooping. It felt like someone had my Adam’s apple on a piece of string and kept pulling it down-and-forwards towards my chest.
I spent my lunch break online looking at chiropractors, osteopaths and physiotherapists to see if one of those might be able to relieve me. Then I saw what they charged for an initial consultation and thought to myself “Stuff it. I’ll take a couple of Anadin and struggle through til it‘s better.”
I know - I’m a hero.
RC 7-9-15
It was a bit warmer today, so shame on all of you who wrote grumpy blog postings yesterday about Summer being well and truly over.
We took advantage of the upturn and hit the coast for a walk and a bit of surfing. The water is bloody chilly and the sooner Philippa buys me a wetsuit as an early Wedding present the better.
When I say ‘surfing’ what I really mean is ‘floating about on a cheap polystyrene body board’ but it’s the best I can do for now. Until Philippa buys me a surfboard…….
RC 6-9-15
Autumn seems to have come crashing down around our ears like a badly made hat. I thought it might be nice to have a morning ride today, but by the time I’d pumped my tyres up and checked my brakes I was bloody freezing. I’d got myself through the perpetual winds of May and June by thinking ‘August might be really hot’, then August was full of rain so I told myself ‘we might yet have an Indian Summer with September temperatures in the twenties’ but it don’t look like that’s gonna happen either. So now I don’t know what to think. I’m too intelligent to convince myself that Winter might be gorgeous so I may just give up and sink into one of my depressions.
Or maybe I’ll just go for a bike ride anyway and see if the resultant release of endorphins cheers me up a bit.
I’m aware that my grammar and comprehension in this posting has been a bit awry - I blame the weather.
RC 5-9-15
So much for my grown-up ‘maturing like wine’ spell.
Today I spent three hours building a replica of the filling station using printer paper and out-of-date milkshake. It’s amazing how pliable A4 becomes once you’ve soaked it in strawberry Frijj.
I’ve suggested to my superiors that we branch out a bit and sell more food in the garage. It’s not the usual plan because they like us to direct people into the supermarket if they’re hungry, so they can spend money in the café or possibly be persuaded to impulse-buy while they’re looking for snacks and a sandwich.
But so many of our regulars come in on-the-hoof with little time to spare, and I’m sure we could get them to spend more if we churned out bacon sarnies and coffee.
My line manager asked me to write the suggestion up as a report, so that gave me an excuse for an afternoon in the office, where I ignored the job at hand and amused myself with crafts and graffiti. You might call it time wasting; I would call it training my brain to think in alternative ways and thereby improving my chances of making sensible, profitable decisions and generating innovative, profitable ideas.
I’ve always hated ‘Management Wankspeak’ but it’s so easy to pick up I’m almost fluent in it….
RC 4-9-15
