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That’s it! Last day at work done! I feel strangely emotional in a way I had not expected. I suppose, no matter how much of a downer a place of work has been, you’ve still spent a huge amount of time there and so there will be some residual subconscious attachments that will take a while to sever.
Did I really just say that?????
In truth, I feel completely relieved. They tried to give me a bit of a send-off but I received it with the same lack of enthusiasm it was offered with. I shook hands with Graham and he thanked me for all my efforts, and I just felt numb. None of the staff really seemed to give a shit, they were just standing there because they’d been told to and because it gave them an excuse to be away from their work stations for ten minutes.
I was given a card (signed by six people) and a voucher for fifty quid that could only be redeemed at that store, and that was my big thank you after slogging myself to death for them for a number of years.
Did I really just say that????? What a liar! Even someone with my eccentric imagination could not really describe my work ethic as ‘slogging.’
Anyway, the voucher will be useful as a Christmas present, and THANK GOD I never have to visit that dump again!
I’d love to get really drunk now, but I have to go to the NEW place tomorrow for ‘orientation’
It’ll take me exactly three minutes to drive there from home. What a chore!
RC 28-9-14
Well I found out why I’m the only manager on duty both days this weekend… Everyone else booked it off so they could watch The Ryder Cup.
I like pitch-and-putt as much as the next man, but would I want to spend three days in their entirety watching badly-dressed millionaire sportsmen slap a little ball around while amassed crowds whoop and holler tribally? Actually yes I would if it meant being away from the supermarket.
Anyway I’ve been behaving as befits someone who is leaving in less than 48 hours. I’ve been giving all the staff extra long breaks and I’ve given any customer who complained their entire weeks groceries for free.
RC 27-9-14
And so here I sit
Wasting time in the office
Instead of working
Two more days to go
Before Rory and this store
Go separate ways
Hurry up Sunday
Much more time in this building
Will send me insane
RC 26-9-14
We were chatting about things at the dinner table this evening (how very middle class!) I said how nice it is to feel settled and optimistic, and how nice it is to be discussing work without a bilious, vitriolic undertone to all my comments.
Philippa said “New house… new job… big changes. You may as well do every major life change at once - why don’t we get married soon?”
There are lots of reasons to answer that question with, but it turns out it was meant to be rhetorical…
RC 25-9-14
It’s finally starting to sink in that I’m leaving soon. I’m walking around a store that is, quite frankly, run badly and full of problems and unhappiness, but it’s all just bouncing off me now. Customers are moaning, staff are trying to make me feel bad, but I have an impregnable shield around me that is fuelled by the knowledge that I only have four more shifts, and then I‘m out. Even the fact that they’ve shafted me by making me work two long days at the weekend isn’t affecting me. I’ll just spend most of Sunday in the office, playing Sporcle.
It’s a lovely position to be in - knowing that whatever they throw at me in the next few days, I can just be aloof to it all and say “Not my problem after this week”
It’s better than being enslaved by a subconscious state of thinking “I have to take most of this, because they’re paying my wages and dictating my rotas and they basically have my balls in their pocket”
Leaving a job you hate is a wonderful boost to your mental health!
And technically, I’ll still be working for the same company, but there’s only ONE department to a filling station, and I’ll be the sole manager, so I can try to get things running how I want them, in a way that’s fair to everyone, without interference from others.
RC 24-9-14
A conversation from our ‘Perfect Domestic Environment’ this evening:
ME: If you like, I can start clearing out the garage next weekend
HER: Why would you do that?
ME: It would be nice to clear a space in there, for a drum kit, maybe
HER: Does this house strike you as a house that needs a drum kit in the garage?
ME: Well, it would be nice to start making it our own
HER: But it’s not ours
ME: No, but it might be in the future
HER: So you want to start re-arranging a house that isn’t ours, to make it look more like it is ours, in the vain hope that two years down the line or beyond, there might be a strange twist of circumstances that end with us buying it and staying here?
ME: Pretty much
HER: And what if it isn’t ours in the future?
ME: Then we’ll have had some practice at making a home our own, before we even get a home of our own. It’s a win-win situation.
Pause
HER: This new job of yours?
ME: What about it?
HER: You don’t work any evenings, right?
ME: Not unless we’re short staffed.
HER: And you get weekends off, right?
ME: Just work one Saturday a month.
Pause
HER: This could be a real test of our relationship..
Bloody women.
RC 23-9-14
And so begins my final week of work at the supermarket.
Graham is not happy. I’m supposed to give him three months notice and they haven’t had time to find a replacement, but the garage in Suffolk need me a.s.a.p and I’ve got to do two weeks training before I start. So Graham’s been told to shut up and get on with it! (Not by me, you understand, but by his area superiors)
It’s terrible really - I’ve been there a few years but I’m not bothered about leaving in the slightest. There’s none of my fellow managers that I’ll want to keep in touch with, I have no reservations about deserting ‘the Dairy Team’ and there’s no-one in the building I’ll miss, apart from Cheryl in the canteen, who makes the best lasagne in Norfolk. The whole thing has been a pretty unpleasant experience, and an episode of my life that I will never hope to repeat. How on Earth I’ve managed to maintain a small level of sanity and hang on to Philippa throughout these long, endless months of store work is beyond me, but maybe one day I’ll look back and be proud.
Philippa doesn’t know yet, but I’ve booked us a weekend away at the end of November. I’m going to take her to London and let her do Christmas shopping at all those expensive places that I would normally avoid by kilometres. She deserves lots of rewards for putting up with all my moanings and moodswings since we got together.
RC 22-9-14
I met another one of our neighbours today. A lovely woman called Geraldine. She’s a very sprightly 72-year-old who has lived in the village for the best part of 50 years. Her husband worked on the farm all his life, so they got the house with cheap rent as part of his employment, and even though he died shortly after retiring, the landowners still let her live there. Who says all farmers are arseholes?
The most amazing thing is that her mum still lives with her. Named Olive, she’ll be 98 (that’s NINETY-EIGHT) on Christmas Day, and still does some of the cooking! She only stopped doing the cleaning and hoovering two years ago because, Geraldine says, “She broke her wrist aged 96 and it slowed her down a bit..”
How did she break her wrist, I asked?
“She climbed on the worktop to try and dust the top of the kitchen cupboards, and she slipped on some spilt tea and fell awkwardly”
Amazing woman. I don’t even try to clean the top of our cupboards, and I’m only a third of her age!
RC 21-9-14
Foggy and dull, and Philippa is back in Norfolk playing badminton, so my day is clear and it’s not suitable for cycling. So - do I knuckle down into preparation for the new job by reading the information pack they sent me? Or do I crack on with housework and get the place looking spotless? Or do I go self-indulgent and spend all day watching films?
You know me so well….
Here’s the schedule so far:
10am - “MOON”
12pm - “TED”
2pm - “ELYSIUM”
Then I thought I’d pay tribute to the recently departed Robin Williams, by re-visiting three of his finest:
4pm - “DEAD POETS SOCIETY”
6pm - “MRS DOUBTFIRE”
8pm - “GOOD WILL HUNTING”
By then, Philippa should be home and my eyes should be irreversibly square-shaped.
RC 20-9-14
I don’t think I’ll be going back to sleep for a while. I’ve just had a dream in which I was kidnapped while travelling on a tram. I had a bag put over my head and I was dragged along a cobbled road by my feet, with my face banging against the floor and my knees twisted painfully. Then I was tied to a chair naked and had about 300 slugs tipped over my body. Then someone said “Now you’re in trouble…. The Kingpin is here” and they took the bag off my head, and Oprah Winfrey was sitting on a sofa in front of me, smoking a cigar. I was shaking with cold and someone said “This will only get worse if you don’t tell the truth” and then the room started filling up with milk. Oprah put on some scuba gear, and just as the milk went over my head I woke up…
RC 19-9-14
Sorry I’ve only been going on about work this past week or so. It has rather been dominating my thoughts. But to prove to you that other things have been happening, here’s a quick rundown of my non-work-related news so far in September:
I’ve acquired a neat little device from work that lets you play iPod playlists through the sound system in your car. It’s great, especially as I’ve also discovered a lovely way of putting music onto your iPod without having to pay for the download… (Piracy is wrong, kids)
As a result, I have become heavily ensconced in the music of Ryan Adams. What started as a little journey of exploration has turned into a bit of an obsession, and the amazing thing is that he’s recorded so much music in his life that I’ve barely scratched the surface. I won’t have many happy memories of travelling to work at the supermarket since our move to Suffolk, but having free music blaring out behind me while the sun sets gorgeously over the stubble fields will be a big one.
Sophie and Tamara have been talking about marriage again. Specifically, they’ve been talking about a joint ceremony again, where all three Chesworth siblings get hitched at the same time. As a consequence, I am avoiding everyone I know except Ted. I’ve recently moved house and I’m about to change career, the last thing I need around me at the moment is Wed-speak
The weather, and my relaxed mood, has prompted me to rack up several miles of cycling. It really is beautiful scenery nearby, and I’m enjoying it to its fullest before the nights pull in and the days turn Wintry.
And if I may just finish on a work note - the supermarket is days away from taking delivery of a huge collection of Christmas shit, and the floor space has to be re-arranged to accommodate a ‘Seasonal Specials’ aisle…. And I don’t have to be involved in any of it….
Good times.
RC 17-9-14
We were cuddling up on the sofa this evening and I suddenly thought “Soon I can do this every night, not just 2 or 3 days out of 7.”
I then had an in pouring of lovely, pleasant thoughts about the imminent work change: Next Summer I can cycle every night if I want to. Hell, I can bike to work every day if the weather permits it and I fancy it. We might even be able to sell a vehicle and be a one-car couple! That’ll save a couple of grand extra a year.
I’ve always predicted ahead - especially at times of changes - but I tend to project negatively and see the future full of doom and gloom. What’s nice at the moment (and it may only be just for the moment) I’m seeing nice things to come. And it’s not pie-in-the-sky, rosy-glasses-on ‘this might happen if…’ This is stuff that should actually come to pass, if I do things right and don’t sabotage my own future….
RC 16-9-14
I’m sitting in the office at work, in the middle of inputting my penultimate weekly order, ready for delivery on Thursday. The fact that I only have to do this in this supermarket twice more (including tonight) feels lovely, but hasn’t motivated me enough to get on with it - I’ve spent the last three hours playing movie quizzes on a website called SPORCLE…
I’ve also watched ‘Only Connect’ on BBC2, written a poem for Philippa and broken my record for throwing pencils into a waste paper bin from the other side of the office (previous record - 12 in 30 seconds; New record - 14)
If anyone had doubts about my level of demotivation and demoralisation - the evidence is piling up as we speak.
RC 15-9-14
I got the job!
I am ridiculously happy about it; even going so far as to use the phrase ‘pig in poop’ at least once today.
At the end of September, I will cease my time as a Supermarket Assistant Department Manager and begin my journey into the world of Filling Station Duty Management. It may not be the most glamorous of professions, but it’s a hell of a lot more exciting than what I’ve been doing for the past few years.
It’s an amazing change in circumstances. Apart from emergencies and one Saturday a month, I get my weekends off! I’ll never have to work later than 8pm on a weeknight, and I will be in total control of staff rotas and therefore my own hours. I also get a few thousand pounds a year more than I’m on at present. For the first time since we’ve been together I’ll be earning more than Philippa!
I’m looking really hard, but I cannot find anything that is a negative when you compare it to my current situation. So either there’s something I’ve missed and I’m going to get a very big shock, or life is about to get much better!
To celebrate, I am taking Philippa to the cinema, and to a very pricey restaurant.
Have a good weekend……
RC 13-9-14
A few things I would like to achieve in the not-too-distant future:
Owning my own drum kit
A trip to the USA
Working in Suffolk
A few things PHILIPPA would like me to achieve in the not-too-distant future:
Fatherhood
Marriage
Being rich
RC 11-9-14
My interview went well, than you for asking.
I may actually have found a tiny light at the end of my long-suffering tunnel. I might be able to ‘start again’ without actually ‘starting again’ if you see what I mean..
And if you don’t, I’ll explain further… (so skip ahead a paragraph if you did see what I mean)
The job is one that, not only could I see myself managing it, I could actually see myself enjoying it! There’d be much less face-to-face time with customers, for a start. The management tasks would involve a bit of thought and planning, rather than the mundane, same-every-time-I-do-them shite tasks that I find myself repeatedly doing at the supermarket.
I’d have a chance to learn as well, and I’d be learning skills I could take to another company, rather than just in-house, brand-specific shit I’ve been taught about where I am now.
If I get it, I have to go away for two weeks to learn about ‘how to manage a filling station.’ You know the sort of thing - fixing fuel prices, watering down the petrol, charging 70% more for bread and milk than we would if it was an actual store….
I should find out by Friday.
RC 9-9-14
We had perfect cycling weather today. So I went cycling. It was great to explore a bit and see some of the local sights and familiarise myself with the surroundings.
And then I got lost. It’s amazing how many fields in Suffolk look exactly like other fields in Suffolk. Confusing, but I found my way home eventually, and I went about 12 miles further than I meant to, which is probably good for my health. I found a lovely little stream and some nice picnic spots, and I also discovered that there is a point not far from our house where you are travelling on a very small and dirty B-road, and then you turn a corner to find yourself on a dual carriageway.. That’s a mistake I’m going to try very hard not to make again.
My interview is on Monday by the way…..
RC 6-9-14
I had a conversation with, and an apology from, Jeffrey the HR manager today. I won’t go into the boring details, but he has told me to go ahead with the garage job interview as booked and they’ll send a recommendation internally based on my work at the store in Norfolk.
He said “I guess we have to be honest and say that the left hand doesn’t always know what the right hand is doing”
I said “With respect, it’s more like the left hand doesn’t even know that the right hand exists.”
I was told I had done a remarkable job of investigative work in showing the failings in their recruitment systems and interdepartmental communications, and I should be commended for my efforts and patience.
Just call me Sherlock…
…and please may that be the end of it.
RC 3-9-14
I may have gotten to the bottom of the work-based unpleasantness, and I have to give him credit - it’s all down to Ginger Graham.
After Friday’s revelations and repercussions, I decided to give myself the weekend to calm down a bit and think things through. I chatted to Philippa about it and I realised that, although Graham toes the corporate line and is a bit of a toad when his superiors are around, he has always been very fair to me, even when I was behaving (quite frankly) like a prick.
So I printed off all the e-mails I’ve had, and a typed-up account of all the phone calls and messages and exchanges I’ve had with different people within the company, and I asked to see him in his office today. I said “I want to give this company the benefit of the doubt, but I’m getting very angry and I think I have a reason to be..” and I handed him the folder. He spent ten minutes reading through it, looking up at me a couple of times, before saying “Rory, this is absolutely ridiculous”
He immediately picked up the phone and, with me still in his office, went through the whole affair with the head of HR (a pedantic sounding man named Jeffrey)
They both got rather perplexed and embarrassed, and Jeffrey promised to have a thorough look at everything, and speak to everyone concerned, and get back to me.
So now my folder is on it’s way to Head Office in the bag of a motorcycle courier, and Jeffrey has promised to call me tomorrow.
RC 1-9-14
