Nearly May then!

I’ve been getting into the snooker in a big way this year. My plan for today was to do some housework, do some online job-hunting, take the bike (with it’s new chain) for a spin, and then get in some serious Wii time. What I actually did in the end was get up at 10, make coffee, turn on the TV, and watch snooker through until 6.30pm, at which point Philippa came in and said “Why haven’t you hoovered?”

RC 30-4-14

Aprilaiku

Another month gone

Suddenly it's nearly May

And Death moves closer...

God, I'm cheery!!

RC 29-4-14

Chain

Got my bike fixed. Didn’t cost as much as I thought it would, which is a bonus. I may spend the extra ‘ghost’ money on a new game for the Wii. I haven’t actually set it up yet in the new place, but I’ve got two days off back-to-back on Wednesday and Thursday so I may spend all day gaming. 
Philippa is already worrying about ‘when we have to move again’ and is refusing to get too settled. Anytime I go for a walk and say how nice something looks she says “Well, don’t be getting used to it”  Bloody killjoy. Why can’t she live in the moment and be thankful for what we have now? Why does she have to keep forward-thinking to the next big crisis, rather than enjoying a crisis-free life while we have one? And while I’m asking these questions about her - why does she keep pestering the house-sitting agency with e-mails ‘just to keep us in their thoughts??” 
They did send her a quick reply today. Apparently there’s a nice house in Suffolk that they need someone to go to long-term, but it would mean a bit of a long daily commute to work for both of us.  I think they only mentioned it to convince Philippa they’re still thinking of us and to stop her e-mailing constantly, but we said we’d consider looking at it. The weather has been so nice recently that ‘staycations’ are bound to be popular this Summer, so we’ll be thrown out of here before June I reckons… (but don’t tell Philippa - she’s edgy enough as it is)

RC 28-4-14

Update on London Marathon

I’ve managed to get out of running the Marathon with Simon next year, but I have promised him I’ll help him by joining him in the early stages of his training. I haven’t told him yet that I plan to bike alongside him while he runs, rather than do the running with him, but I’m sure it amounts to the same thing. 

RC 27-4-14

Update on Tame and Wild

I haven't mentioned my 'music partner' Ross for a while, have I? 
That's because we had an acrimonious split and I was finding it too painful to write about. Plus I didn't want to give him the free online advertising that he would get by having his name appearing in this blog. I am nothing if not bitter and capable of over-blowing my own importance. 
He called for a hiatus when he was asked to play with a group he met at a pub one night. Their guitarist joined the forces and buggered off abroad somewhere so they tapped up Ross as his replacement. He doesn't like the songs they play but he was panicking about the fact that he’d promised to play live at a relatives wedding and the date was edging closer and closer. He said that he and I “were never going to be ready to perform" so he sold his soul and joined a covers band. I wished him well and called him a selfish bastard and that was it. I guess no band is truly a band until they've lost someone due to 'musical differences.' Unfortunately, when you’re in a duo, if you lose someone you're left on your own. So I haven't touched the drumsticks anytime in 2014. I was too distracted with ongoing work hell, daily dealings with Philippa, and our constant state of flux vis-a-vis our places of residence. Jesus, I'm starting to sound like a supermarket manager! 
Anyway, I'd love to be playing again, but I don't want to disturb the peaceful riverside ambience by buying a kit to practice with here, and it's hard to meet someone for regular sessions when my shift patterns change so frequently. So, for now, my drumming will have to be put on a shelf and left for a while, just like everything else I've ever turned my hand to..... 

RC 25-4-14

Update on Hannah

This will probably shock you as much as it shocked me: my youngest sister is working in a school! 
After finishing her Performing Arts course she decided she’d rather work behind-the-scenes than be on-stage. She applied to work with a few theatre companies, but didn’t want to travel around as it would mean being away from Nathan, so she started looking at other possibilities, and the suggestion was made that she be a drama teacher. Now, my sister never went to university as she was too busy having sex with half of Norfolk in her late teens and early twenties, so she can’t go straight into teacher training. But she CAN work as a teaching assistant, and that is exactly what she is now doing!
So my older sister works in a hospital helping the poorly, my younger sister works in a school helping children; I work in a supermarket making money for billionaire shareholders. Just call me Black Sheep Rory... 

RC 24-4-14

St. George's Day haiku

He slayed a dragon.
But did he really exist?
Or is it bullshit?

RC 23-4-14

Easter 4

Ted is lost in a world of Snooker Heaven. 
The World Championships has started so he's settled in for 17 days of non-stop Hot Baize Action. 
Beryl is beside herself with despair as she knows she won't get any sense out of him until after the Final on Bank Holiday Monday. 
God bless 'em. 
I popped round after work to say hello, and to save me from having to make a cup of tea for myself. 
Beryl said "Simon is so pleased you've agreed to be his running partner. He's really excited" I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm going to back out of it, but I'd better contact him soon and tell him or he'll be turning up at my house wearing running shorts, and that is a sight I REALLY don't want to be exposed to. 
Happy Easter, by the way. 

RC 21-4-14

Easter 3

Our top-selling products in the supermarket so far this weekend:
BBQ stuff
Gardening stuff
Alcohol

My three most annoying customer encounters so far this weekend:
The woman who stopped me in the dairy aisle to ask if she could get her feet measured.
The drunk man yesterday lunchtime who asked why we weren't showing the football.
The woman who told me (while shopping on Easter Sunday) "Jesus would be mortified if he saw your price of your salmon"

Three things I'm most looking forward to when I finish work this evening:
Having a shower with Philippa
Sitting in the garden with a glass of wine
Sleep

RC 21-4-14

Easter 2

Took my bike out. First ride of the year. And what happened?
My sodding chain snapped.
Some would say its my own fault for leaving it untouched for months and then riding it flat out without oiling it, but I think it’s more likely that God hates me and decided to punish me for cycling on the anniversary of his sons Crucifixion.  Why else would it start raining the second I started the three-mile walk home?
Either way I’m now going to spend several pounds getting it repaired.
My one day over Easter that I don’t have to work and I spent most of it carrying my bike home.
Don’t plan to come into the supermarket tomorrow because I’m going to be in a foul mood.

RC 18-4-13

Easter 1

Day off today, but I have to work the rest of the weekend. They give with one hand and pull off your testicles with the other… 
I’m going to celebrate my Good Friday of Freedom by exploring the riverside tracks on my bicycle. I have this annual event where I bike for the first time in months and go mad, forgetting I’ve got a bit unfit over Winter, and I end up miles from home and rapidly running out of energy, and I struggle home with burning thighs and then I collapse in a hot bath and then I get drunk.  I see no reason to break with that tradition and today could be THAT day…

RC 18-4-14

Step back

I spent most of today coming up with ways to back out of committing to the marathon. Over the course of a shift at work I wrote a long list of potential excuses that got more ridiculous by the minute, including these gems:
“I have a long-standing heart condition that would make it far too risky”
“Work are sending me abroad for a year”
“I have cancer and I’ll be dead by Christmas”
“My religion forbids me from running on Sundays”
“I can’t run in the Marathon - I’m commentating on it for the BBC”

Then tonight Philippa said to me “You could just tell him you don’t want to do it”
It always seems so easy to her…

RC 15-4-14

Bugger

I had an e-mail from Simon.
He remembered……….

RC 14-4-14

2115

Run away and hide

You know that feeling when you wake up slightly hungover and then you suddenly remember something that happened the night before? And you shudder?
In a moment of drunken madness last night I agreed to run the London Marathon next year. Ted’s son Simon is planning to do it for charity and tried to rope everyone in to do it with him. After he’d been going on about it for three hours I said YES just to get him to shut up. He gave me a big hug and called me ‘brother’ and starting talking about training and how we can meet up three times a week to run around Norwich and how much fun it will be to see each other get fitter and how we can support each other through the hard times. When he first floated the idea I thought he was just lost in the emotion and excitement of the day itself, but he’s obviously been giving this a lot of thought and is determined to do it. All he needed was a victim that he could bully and trick into joining him so he didn’t have to suffer alone; and step forward stupid big-mouthed glutton-for-punishment Rory. 
I’m hoping he was so drunk he won’t remember. 

RC 14-4-14

Ted and Beryl reunion

We’ll be spending most of the day camped at Ted and Beryls house watching sport with various members of their family.
It’s the final day of the US Masters so it’s a long evening of alcohol and golf talk.
I’m not particularly bothered about the FA Cup semi-final at 4pm, but the golf isn’t on til 7 so it’s a nice excuse to start early!
And start early we shall!
I have Adam Scott as my tip to win the Masters. Ted went for Rory McIlroy. 
I have to stop typing now as I’m desperate for a poo.

RC 13-4-14

Creature of habit

I keep thinking maybe I should change the look of this blog page, but then I think ‘why bother?’

It’s been suggested to me that I should be on Twitter or something similar but I don’t see the benefit. I don’t believe people would be interested in seeing updates from my life ten times a day, and I’m not sure I could be bothered to do it. I’d rather store up my thoughts and put them down for you at the end of the day. I’m a traditionalist I suppose. Or lazy, depending on how you look at it.

The trouble with twitter is, there’s no editing system. People put their thoughts up instantly without stopping to think, and without bothering to make sure it makes sense. Where are the writers who care about their output???
“Quantity not quality” - that should be the motto of Social Media.
Most tweets aren’t even spelt properly for Gods sake. Or maybe the people doing it just don’t know how to spell in the first place, I don’t know.
Time for bed, I think.

RC 8-4-14

Back

Sorry I’ve been a bit distant. I think the ‘stress’ of packing and moving and moving in and re-locating left me a bit discombobulated and un-blog-able.
I think I’ve just invented a phrase, and I think that’s the first time I’ve used ‘discombobulated’ in a blog posting, so I’m back with a bang!
The new place lacks the cosy feel of The Willows. That building was infused with the personalities and history of the family that owned it, and familiarity and comfort dripped from the walls like honey; this house is used by 20 different tenants a year for a week or two at a time, and it shows. It feels used and oft-vacated.  We’re doing our best with it, but I can’t imagine us ever feeling at home here. Which is just as well I suppose as we’ll be packing up again before we know it. 
On the plus side, the riverside location is incredibly relaxing and poetic. We’re both spending long hours sitting by the back windows and just enjoying the view. Even today, when it rained all evening and there was an unpleasant wind, there was something naturally gorgeous about it.  Rain slashing against a window can be one of the most depressing things you can think of, but when you can look beyond the glass and see the raindrops bouncing on the river, it becomes somehow suddenly beautiful.

RC 7-4-14

Sod the Smog

Haiku about this weeks air pollution:

A cloud from Europe
Hovered over our island
Like invading dust

RC 4-4-14

Livin' the Dream (a bit)

What a fantastic evening!
Sophie had the day off work and travelled over to see the new house. I finished at lunchtime so met her for lunch, then brought her back here to have a nose around. The weather was so nice that we sat outside in the garden for hours watching the ducks splash past! How very nice. Especially for her, as she spends most of her life cramped in a small flat in a part of Kings Lynn that I think is called “Festering Shitmeadows”

RC 3-4-13