Dreaming?

Quote of the Day from a slightly tipsy Philippa: “I wonder if, this time next year, I’ll be getting my first Mother’s Day card from my own child?”
I think we all know what the answer to that question is…

RC 30-3-14

Last blog posting in GMT!!

The great thing about not having my mum in my life anymore is that I don’t have to buy into all the money-grabbing commercial bullshit that companies foist on us in the build-up to Mothers Day.
There were so many men coming in the store this evening desperately trying to buy flowers and chocolates because they’d suddenly realised what the date was. Idiots. Haven’t they noticed the constant stream of down-your-throat advertising that has been on TV, radio, online and probably tattooed everywhere for the past month or so? (Since Valentines Day disappeared from the rear-view mirror and we needed a nice way to suck money out of hard-working people’s pockets before Easter came around?)
Sometimes I despair at the behaviour of my fellow Men. 

RC 29-3-14

Forgive me for rubbing it in, but..

I don’t have much to report tonight, I just wanted to share with you how utterly beautiful the river looks with mist upon it, and how incredibly calming the sound of lapping water is when you live near it….

RC 28-3-14

Lighter

I am much, much happier about life now the new place is feeling more like ours. Philippa popped to the shops yesterday and bought some nice lamps and stuff. I got in from work last night to find her hanging a picture and looking very content. I was pleased by her efforts right up to the point she said “When we settle down and get our own place I can do this on a grander scale”
I worked the early shift today and had to deal with an employee that was smoking a joint outside on his break. I said to him “You know company policy. Illegal drugs are a no-no. We’re not going to pry into your personal time away from the store but you’re not putting us in a good position when you’re smoking that stuff on the premises. Especially when you do it in full view of two different security cameras.”  
I felt sorry for him in a way because his job is so awful he probably needs stimulants of some kind just to make it through the day, and he doesn’t have the intelligence to realise he was in danger of getting caught. But I’ve been told before on a course somewhere that “A persons ignorance is not to be used as an excuse for their indiscipline” so I filed the appropriate report and handed it over to Ginger Graham to do with as he will. I’m such a company-minded man, aren’t I? I did tell the guy in question I would put in a good word for him, but the truth is he’s a useless member of staff so the chances are they’ll be glad he’s given them a reason to bin him. 
This evening I washed off the feelings of guilt by having a shower and then walking by the river, because that’s what you can do when you live by the river! It was lovely and it lifted my spirits no end, especially when I realised that we change the clocks at the weekend, so it’ll be lighter later this time next week!
Happy Days!

RC 26-3-14

Up and at 'em

We both feel much, much better tonight. Cooking our first meal and spending our first full day here has made a big difference. I don’t think either of us had taken a dislike to the place or worried that we’d made a mistake; it’s just that we both loved The Willows so much and felt so at home there that wherever we went next was bound to cause a bit of a comedown. But now, after 24hours of pining, we’ve accepted the change and started to explore and appreciate the new place.
It’s warmed up a bit as well. No-one had been in here since October half-term and the owner forgot to pop in and put the heating on, so it was all a bit cold and unwelcoming when we got here. We’ve got that sorted now, though, so we don’t have to worry about waking up in a frosty bedroom again tomorrow!
For future reference (if we continue to live this nomadic life we are currently committed to) I’d prefer to house-sit, or rent if necessary, places that have only just been vacated. It’s nice to move into a furnished, lived-in home, even if it’s furnished and lived-in by strangers with completely different tastes to you. It’s not so nice when you clamber into somewhere that’s been empty for 5 months and is only sparsely decorated.
Anyway, we decided to be here, and here we are, and I can already see us being happy here. By my reckoning, we should just about feel settled in time for them to turf us out to make room for holidaymakers…..

RC 23-3-14

Down by the riverside

Well, we’re in!
Strangely enough, the excitement we had about moving here seemed to drain out of us the second we walked in the door. We both sat down with a resigned feeling of “Oh God, here we are starting all over again…” So there were a few tears (from Philippa) and panic attacks (from me) before an early (and restless) night. 
I feel a bit better today, mainly because I’ve ticked off the three ‘S’s - I never settle somewhere until I’ve had my first shower, first sleep, and first shit. With those under my belt now I can move onwards and upwards…
The bad news is - no Wi-Fi here so I’ve had to buy a cable! 
The good news is - we’re in now so I can drink again!

RC 22-3-14

Final night in The Willows

Where the Hell did the last three months disappear to? It only feels like yesterday we were in the spare room at Sally’s house and looking forward to our new abode, and now here we are about to depart. 
One positive about moving house regularly is you get bloody good at packing away and tidying. Apart from the stuff we’ll be sleeping in all our bits and bobs are packed and ready to go, and the house looks spotless. No doubt Philippa will clean every inch of it again tomorrow, but I’d go so far as to say it looks nicer now than it did when we moved in. The Dobsons are back on Saturday, as their tradition is to open their fish and chip shop on the first day of British Summer Time, and they like to be home for a week beforehand so they can get settled and get the shop nice and clean. Once they see this house they’ll probably ask Philippa for help. I swear she could clean the spots off a ladybird.
I shall end this with a tearful haiku:

The Willows, farewell.
To be within your fair walls
Was a treat indeed.

RC 20-3-14

Unexpected challenge

I have sort of promised Philippa I won’t have a drink again until we’re settled in the new house. She has been looking up facts about drinking problems and is worried that I’m ‘getting into bad habits’ by ‘drinking alone at home’
I’m starting to think that getting her pregnant might be a good idea after all. She obviously needs something to mother and moan at and pick on and control so it may as well be a child instead of me. 

RC 19-3-14

Never try to pack with a hangover..

Remind me never to celebrate St Patrick’s Day on my own again….

RC 18-3-14

Happy St Guinness day, everyone

Do you remember when every town and city had at least seven Irish-themed pubs in them? When I was at Uni we used to do a monthly pub crawl where we only ever went into Irish-themed pubs. It was easy. You never had to travel more than two hundred yards before you found another one. O’Reilly’s, Flanagan’s, Ryan’s, The Dublin Bar, it just went on and on… And where are they now? One of those buildings is a bookies, one of the others is a sex shop and I think the other two are empty.
I wonder what happened to all that green bunting?
Anyway, like the rest of the young population of England I shall be celebrating another country’s public holiday by indulging in alcohol from ‘The Emerald Isle’
We’ve had Guinness and Jamesons on special offer at work and most of it was still sitting there today, so I wrote some off as damaged stock and I’m about to make a start on it…

RC 17-3-14

Funny Sunny Hunny

Today was lovely, but don’t you meet some strange characters when you’re walking along the seafront in a coastal Norfolk town?
I really fancied an ice-cream so we wandered over to the fella near the amusements who had one of those bikes with a cooler basket on the front, and a ‘Rolando’s Ices’ sign above his head.
I don’t want to go into an over-descriptive character assassination of someone, so instead I shall simply list the facts about him and you can get your own mental picture and make your own assumptions:
We could smell his B.O. well before we reached him.
He had a mangy terrier tied to the bike that he was stroking in between serving customers.
At least two of his fingernails had blood on them; at least two others had an undetermined but suspicious-looking brown substance.
He kept wiping his nose on the back of his hand.
He ‘cleaned’ his scoop between servings by wiping it on his T-shirt.
His beard had something crusty caked in it (my guess was lasagne, Sophie thought it was vomit)
Suffice to say, we went to a café for a cuppa instead…

RC 16-3-14

One week til Moving-In Day..

Actually it’s only six days, but that looks less attractive as a blog title.
We have a growing sadness that we’re moving out of The Willows next weekend, but that’s tempered somewhat by the knowledge that we should be back here in December. The idea of Christmas at The Willows being an annual event is one that warms me thoroughly. 
Whether Philippa and I will still be together for it is another matter, but we’ll have to wait and see how the rest of the year goes…
In other news, we’re having a day with Sophie and Tamara tomorrow. We’re going to meet at Hunstanton and enjoy the Springtime sunshine by the sea. It should be FIFTEEN degrees tomorrow, and according to at least one National newspaper this warm, bright weather could go on for three months. I imagine they’ve just out that on the front page to try and nab some extra sales, as ’m not sure they can accurately predict that far ahead, but Yes Please! We’re about to live by a river and the thought of being able to sit outside in glorious Spring weather in the evenings is really getting me excited! I can canoe, I can cycle, we can take long walks… I could be so fit by the end of that three months I’ll be in shape for the Commonwealth Games! 
Now I’ve said that it’ll probably rain until August… 

RC 15-3-14

Must try harder

I may be doing regular blogs this month but I’m not exactly filling them with content. Is there any point challenging myself to do 19 posts a month if most of them aren’t worth reading? 

RC 14-3-14

March is flying by..

I notice this every year, but March seems to disappear through the hourglass three times quicker than January does…
I had the urge to get my bike out today and have my first big cycle-a-thon of the year… until I remembered that the bloody thing is in storage. As soon as we’re settled in the new place I must go and did out the Velociped. Mind you, our new place is right by the river, and only two hundred yards from a shop that hires canoes, so maybe I’ll take to the river instead of the road this Spring!

RC 12-3-14

Sprung?

In the last 4 days I’ve seen a butterfly, some crocuses and a bumblebee. I’ve had a barbecue, I’ve walked outside with just a T-shirt on and I’ve driven in for an early shift in daylight. I love it! I love it, I love it, I love it! I’m so inspired by the onset of Spring that I’ve spent most of today writing haiku about it:

No buds on trees yet
But it cannot be denied
Spring is (almost) here

The sound of Great Tits
The sight of blooming snowdrops
Filling me with joy

Dear God… May I ask:
Why can’t it be Spring all year?
Life would be so good

Spring is a painter
Spreading dynamic colours
On Nature’s canvas

Watching blackbirds feed
Enjoying the crisp, bright air
Spring is Heaven-sent

RC 11-3-14

Poor P

Philippa had to have a day off work today. She doesn’t drink wine as often as I do, and certainly not in the same quantities, so I guess the indulgence of our barbecue may have taken its toll. She very rarely has to miss work, so she felt extremely guilty and that added to her discomfort and she spent lots of time looking weepy and dizzy. For some reason I found it all very attractive and sexy. Maybe I’m still a little drunk… Or just an uncaring pervert…..

RC 10-3-14

Even longer catch-up

I didn’t go into many details about Tom’s ’business’ idea did I? 
Well I’m not going to, because today has been absolutely gorgeous and I want to talk about that instead!
We had a barbecue! Our first of the year! Get in! Nothing says ‘British Spring’ more than eating burnt food outside. With rare forward planning, I came home from work last night armed with charcoal and a large selection of drumsticks, burgers and ribs.
We had a lovely walk this morning, stopped in a pub for drinkies and a sandwich at lunchtime, then decided to have an afternoon and evening of sex and outside munching. Philippa tossed a nice salad while I broke out the old barbie-bowl. Two hours and two bottles of chilled white later we were cuddling in the evening sun and discussing how blessed we have been to get to spend three months at The Willows.
What a day.
I’ve eaten so much meat it feels like a  protein overdose.
Tomorrow I shall probably be wracked with indigestion and wrecked by a hangover but I give not a shit, coz today was So Special, and Worth It…

RC 9-3-14

Longer catch-up

Only two weeks left before we have to move out again.  I shall really miss ‘The Willows’ but I am already excited at the prospect of coming back here again next Winter. I made sure the housesitting agency let the Dobsons know we’re willing to sit for them again. I also floated the possibility that they could stay in the house themselves and let us go to Portugal for three months instead but that’s unlikely to happen I guess. 
Philippa is surprisingly calm about it all. I think she’s slowly getting used to this weird ever-changing nomadic lifestyle that we’ve committed ourselves to. I also think she has fallen in love with the riverside holiday home that we’re moving into next, so that must be helping. 
Our ’business opportunity’ discussion with Tom at the weekend went well. He was full of enthusiasm and convinced he could make us all millionaires, and Philippa looked very attentive and enthused, but she ain’t stupid and she knows Tom well so I wasn’t too concerned about her getting carried away. On the way home I said “So what did you think?”
And she said “I love him and he’s a great boss but sometimes he’s an idiot”
So I doubt we’ll take him up on his kind offer, but who knows?

RC 6-3-14

Quick catch-up

You know I’m a fan of numbers, right?
And you know I’m a fan of lists?

We have 16 nights left in The Willows
There are 24 days until we change to BST!
There are only 3 numbers in this ‘list’

I’ve found a fantastic website called SPORCLE which has loads of logic puzzles on it. I’ve started accessing it from the manager’s office at work, so suddenly any admin task I do is taking three times longer than it used to. Processing orders, updating staff information, writing appraisals… all these things used fill about 30 minutes of my time, whereas now I am in the office for hours every day. Shame really, as I do so miss dealing with customers…

RC 5-3-14