Where did that month go?

Time flies when you’re having fun, I guess.
Mostly I’ve been enjoying myself with Philippa. Nothing feels forced, everything feels natural and great, and long may it continue. I’m trying not to analyse it too much, which is a rare thing in itself and a real breakthrough for me. We like a lot of the same things, and even the things we don’t both like, we put up with for the sake of the other. We’ve already talked about engagement, children and moving in together, and that didn’t feel weird or scary, so something must be going right. It’s all pretty marvellous really.
I’m still unemployed, but I’m looking around. ‘Between jobs, but actively seeking employment’ as they say. I’d like to invest in a car, but it may be difficult to afford with no income. But if I had a car, I could look for jobs further afield, so it’s a tough one. So tough that I’m going to ignore it now, and go and make a mug of hot chocolate and a honey and marmite sandwich. (Don’t knock it til you’ve tried it)
Only 11 months til New Years Eve…….

RC 31-1-11

Did I mention it was my birthday?

The meal out was lovely, despite my reservations. I think the problem is that I spent so many years at college and university getting absolutely blotto on my birthday, that the thought of spending the evening with someone who might infringe on that kind of celebration still feels wrong. The truth, though, is that nowadays I’d much rather spend time with the likes of Nathan, who is unlikely to get pissed and cause a scene in a restaurant, than spend it with my old ‘bar buddies’ who would have insisted on a night involving chaos. Funny how things change.
I ate lobster, for the first time in my life, and to be honest would describe it as ‘mostly disappointing.’ We talked about many things in an adult and non-confrontational way, and Nathan turns out to be very, very witty. I feel sorry for anyone else who was in the restaurant that night because most of our time was spent with each couple gazing into the others eyes, or feeding each other in that soppy way that feels romantic, but is vomit-inducing to watch.

Philippa has been a bit poorly for the last couple of days with a cold bug, so I haven’t seen her at all today. It’s the Championship Games in the NFL tonight and they’re both live on radio, so I’m set fair for the next 6 hours. Then, if the timings right, I’ll be straight onto the sofa to watch Andy Murray play live in the Australian Open. I’m beginning to understand why so many people love sport.

RC 23-1-11

Bonne anniversaire pour moi..

27 today, then.
Philippa is at work, so I’m alone and about to watch ‘District 9’ on DVD. It’s about aliens lost on Earth and feeling lonely and misunderstood. I believe I will be able to sympathise.
Tonight, my beloved has arranged a nice meal out at somewhere or other. It’s a double date with Nathan and Hannah, which should be interesting.

To celebrate this day of days, I present a birthday inspired bout of Initialoetry. (written at 4am this morning while I lay awake wondering where the Hell the last 27 years have gone, and what I’ve actually achieved during them, and what on Earth might happen in the next 27 years, and whether I will actually survive that long, and all that other rubbish that starts to fill your head on your birthday as you approach 30)

Here, a perfect person?
Your best intentions race towards happiness,
destroying another yesterday.

RC 20-1-11 (my birthday)

More Initialoetry

Remember to take the first letter of each word to get the title of the poem:

Living on virtual emptiness
I saw this heart’s energy stripped within.
Every emotional turn exaggerated sadness.
Today though,
hope is not gone

Like oxen venturing east
wilting in lava
love continues on nature’s quest
until everyone rejects a lonely life

RC 18-1-11

Poetry Acronyms

You know how my mind starts to wander when I’ve got too much spare time?
Today I’ve invented something called INITIALOETRY. It works like this - you write down a phrase, and then you have to make up a poem where each consecutive word has to start with each corresponding subsequent letter in the phrase.
That sounds like nonsense, so here’s an example:
If you want to write a poem based on the phrase OUTER SPACE, you write down each letter downwards on a piece of paper, then create a word beginning with each letter in the phrase, which then has to make sense as a poem when read in order down the piece of paper.
Oh God, that was an even worse description.
Just read this (I’ve carried on the OUTER SPACE theme…)

Onwards
Upwards
The
Exquisite
Random
Silence
Persists
And
Continues
Eternally

Clear now?
Here’s another example -

“I live on, very emotionally.
Perhaps happiness in life
is partly permanent again.”

If you take the first letter from each word in turn it spells out “I LOVE PHILIPPA” which is both the title of the poem, and the theme of my life at the moment.

And yes, technically I should have spent the day job-hunting, but there we are.

RC 17-1-11

Even the darkest cloud..

I spoke to our travel agent this morning. With Tunisia falling apart like a chav's sunburnt skin, they've agreed to change our holiday! Philippa and I are now off to Austria next month, instead of risking our lives in North Africa this week. Tom has agreed to change Philippa's holiday dates and I'm still 'between jobs' so it doesn't bother me. It's a slight change in date and destination but the important thing is we'll be TOGETHER in the same hotel, in the same bed, TOGETHER.
So - to any Tunisians who may be reading this - your country may be falling apart at the seams like a cheap pair of imported jeans, but it's helped with the course of true love.

RC 16-1-11

And suddenly, it's the 14th of January..

I was planning to go into details about everything that happened over Christmas, but suddenly we’re a fortnight into the New Year and it all seems too long ago to be newsworthy. It feels like a lifetime ago, to be honest. So much has happened and so much has changed, and it feels like I’ve changed more than any of it.
I’m completely in love with Philippa. I love her; the thunderbolt has struck; I’ve met The One; she’s my Miss Right, and the future Mrs Chesworth. Any cliché that exists about losing your heart and losing your mind can be applied to me, and to us. I am head over heels in love and I think I probably have been since we started working together back in the darkest past of 2010.
The most amazing thing is that it all feels so effortless. So effortless, so easy, and so right. (If this runs true to my past romances, she’ll turn out to be a racist or a serial killer)
Something weird must be happening in the Chesworth family DNA, because Sophie, Hannah and myself are all totally loved-up and convinced we’ve met our Partners-For-Life. We’ve even talked ‘jokingly’ about having a triple wedding. That’s for the future, but for now let me say that I’ve never seen either of my sisters happier, and I personally have never felt this way about anything, or anybody. When Philippa is away from my field of vision I feel empty and I ache to be with her. I’ve even started keeping myself awake so I can lay there and watch her sleeping beside me.

It’s my birthday this week, and you may remember I had booked myself a holiday? Well, the thought of spending a week abroad without Philippa was more than I could bear, so we tried to get her booked to join me. Unfortunately, the flight and hotel were both full, so she’s having to fly out a few hours later, from a different airport, and will stay in a different hotel. The things we do in love, eh?
Anyway - quiz time. Can you remember where I’d booked to go? TUNISIA. Which country is all over the news today? TUNISIA. The locals are unhappy with the President, so there are violent protests which they say will continue until their leader sees fit to resign. The Home Office is telling you to cancel any ‘non-essential’ visits and holiday firms have started flying people HOME to England to get them out of danger. SO the whole thing may be doomed after all. My first-ever foreign holiday, our first holiday together as a couple, up in smoke like a protesters banner, or a kipper. Of all the gin joints in all the World, why did they have to start a violent protest in mine?

Happy New Year, by the way.

RC 14-1-11