Another blog today, you lucky people..

Guess who lost at chess again today? Apparently I exposed my queen too early and then fell for Ted’s ‘sacrificial bishop play’ I don’t mind losing to him, but I wish we didn’t have to have the clinical military de-brief and analysis after every game. I know he’s only trying to help me improve my play but he just comes across as a gloating megalomaniac bastard. I’m surprised he didn’t bring out a flip chart and do a move-by-move re-cap like an overpaid Sky Sports commentator. Mind you, Beryl made us a gorgeous toasted sandwich as a snack so that made it all worthwhile.
Hannah moped around all day like a grounded teenager with a hangover. I assume all is not well romantically but I have no intention of asking for details. That particular kettle of fish is one I would like to leave firmly shut, thank you.
Quick haiku for you:

It’s March tomorrow.
Thank God that Feb is over
And get set for Spring!

RC 28-2-10

Work, berk and a no.10

Morning all. Here I am then, trying to get used to another new routine and blogging first thing on a Sunday because I have a social life as exciting as a button. It feels strange to be working as an office person, but feels good to have got my first ‘week’ under my belt. The job is very unusual. No, that’s unfair. The job is perfectly normal and mundane, it’s the work environment that is unusual. Still, each to his own, and if I want to work for them then these are the conditions I must accept. The pay is good, it’s only three days a week and I think, once I get through the feeling of being as out of my depth as a squirrel in an Olympic swimming pool, I’ll get on well.
Wednesday dawned full of nerves and confusion, but they worked hard to make me welcome (they’ve even given me a mug with my name on, bless them) and by lunchtime it was only me and Philippa and life got a lot easier. The next two days were busy, tiring and full of learning and as I sit here now I’m fairly sure I can’t remember anything I was shown or trained on. I guess I’ll find out on Wednesday.

Hannah went out with her bus driver friend again last night. God knows where, or what they got up to, but I’m glad she hasn’t brought him home to meet me yet as God knows how I’d make conversation with a cradle-snatcher. I could ask him if he’d bought any good Macs recently, but I don’t suppose that would be a good start. In a strange plot twist, the flowers that she had delivered at work on Valentine’s Day were NOT sent by her current escort, so she’s now trying to find out whether they were a peace offering from Nathan, or a sympathy bouquet from a friend, or from a secret admirer. I’m trying to stay away from the whole affair, but I can assure you they weren’t from me.

I’ve never been a fan of sport, but Ted is slowly converting me, so I sat and watched the Six Nations rugby last night. Whenever he prepares to kick, why does Jonny Wilkinson look like a constipated toddler squatting for a poo?

I promise to get back to regular blogs soon, rather than weekly updates.

RC 28-2-10

The latest..

After a chat with Tom on Friday, I agreed to take the job.
I’m doing Weds, Thurs and Fridays, and so I start at 9am tomorrow.
I have a brand new suit from the offer rail at Asda, and some shiny black shoes from a charity shop.
Hannah invited me on her date by way of celebration. I wasn’t sure how the bus driver would feel if Hannah’s brother went along on their first date as chaperone, so I stayed in with a bottle of sparkly wine and some HobNobs. Hannah was home by twenty past ten, so I can’t imagine it went well. I didn’t dare ask. She bought me a beautiful cheese board yesterday as a ‘well done’ present, so I’ve penciled it in for Friday night, as my reward for my first week’s work of the year.
It’ll be my first brie since Christmas, and I’m salivating already.

Not much else to report. We’ve had more snow again, and the temperature has barely crept above freezing, but we’re almost in March now, and I’m back in the World of the Workforce tomorrow, so life is feeling pretty dandy. As dandy as a comic that I used to get in the 80s.

I shall leave you with a Quick Burst Of Haiku About My Weekend:

It was bloody cold
And I lost to Ted at chess
Typical Sunday

RC 23-2-10

Expect the Unexpected

I’d just about given up on him, but Tom the Wallpaper King called this morning. They would like me to spend a month on trial working three days a week, to see how I get on. I said I’d think about it. I’m tempted to keep him waiting two weeks before I reply, to give him a taste of his own medicine, but when have I ever been that petty?????
His wife must be due to drop the kid out soon, so I’m surprised they’re getting me in on trial rather than just appoint someone to cover the maternity leave. If I don’t work out, they won’t have much time to train someone else up before she goes into labour. They’ll have to advertise for an office administrator who also happens to be skilled in midwifery. Maybe it’s just a formality and the jobs mine anyway. If I want it, of course, which is the other thing to consider. I said I’ll pop in to see them tomorrow and maybe we can discuss the offer further, and talk about money, which seems to have been ignored so far.

Hannah has a date tomorrow night. Some bus driver in his fifties took a chance and asked her out for a drink and for some reason I am finding hard to fathom, she said yes. We both know she’s missing Nathan, but I don’t see how the loneliness brought about by splitting up with a twentysomething religious hunk can be cured by dating a chain-smoking part-time near-retirement bus driver. I’m not going to think about it too much. Hannah’s romantic decisions have baffled me for a decade so I shouldn’t expect it to change, and at least he probably has his own house, so if she opts for a first-date shag-a-thon she won’t be bringing him back here, thank God. The walls here are thin, and I’ve heard enough of her filthy couplings to last me a lifetime, thank you.

RC 18-2-10

Haiku about Valentine's Day

‘Romantic’ they say,
‘A celebration of love’
It’s a load of shit

RC 15-2-10

A new Top Ten

Rory’s List Of Things You Simply Have To Experience Before You Die:

I’m only 26, so this list will be expanded I’m sure, but so far I have..

1. The joy of making a prank phone call to a lonely old man or woman.
2. Serving members of the public at work while drunk
3. Sleeping naked in a cornfield
4. A Chicken Chilli Chefs Special from the Bombay Palace
5. The pain in the bowel that is brought on by experiencing the meal above
6. The feeling you get when a Driving Test Examiner tells you ‘you’ve passed’
7. Deliberately mixing chemicals wrong in a University Science Lab so you create a large explosion, or noxious fumes, or a horrible stain (or preferably all three)
8. New Year’s Eve in Edinburgh
9. A weekend drinking session with a middle-aged man from Dublin
10.Christmas Day at Ted and Beryls

You don't miss your water til the well runs dry

I’m actually missing the supermarket. The job was mind-numbing, granted, but when your mind is a bit hyper-active and wanders off on its own when unchecked it’s sometimes good to have it numbed by menial tasks for a few hours. It’s also a month now since I heard any of Jared’s Pearls of Wisdom, and I have to say I miss him, in that strange way that you miss a spot that you’ve been playing with absent-mindedly for a week when it heals.
I’m glad I’m out, but I’m missing the stability of being employed, I think that’s what it comes down to. I’ve applied to a couple of Employment Agencies, but I nosed through one of the girl’s desks while she processed my info, and they’re oversubscribed by 23 people for every job they have on the books, so I don’t hold much hope. I did spot a sign in the newsagents asking for a janitor to work at the primary school, but I’m not sure I’m right for that position. Thinking back, if my school was an example, I’m sure you need to be a man in his sixties with only one pair of trousers, dubious stains on your jumper and a tendency to take four hours cleaning the boys toilets, sometimes armed with a camera.

RC 9-2-10

SuperBowl Result 2010

New Orleans 31 Indianapolis 17. I couldn't have been more wrong, and I couldn't be happier. What a fantastic game, and a great reminder of why I love this sport, and this occasion.
It almost made up for being mercilessly slaughtered at chess again..

RC 8-2-10

SuperBowl Prediction 2010

Indianapolis to win 42-20. Manning to be MVP.

RC 7-2-10

A round 250

I have a really bad headache.
I think it’s because I’ve stopped taking antidepressants and my body is slowly readjusting. Sophie and I were discussing it all on one of the rare moments we had together in Edinburgh, and she said there are normally always side effects when you come off them. The longer you’ve been taking them, the harder it is to wean yourself off them, which is why she advised me to see my doctor regularly so I could get off them before I became too ‘dependent.’
The truth is, I feel pretty good about life now, and I can’t believe how low I sank last Autumn. It seems hard to imagine now, but there were days when I simply could not get myself out of bed. Going to the doctors when I did was one of the best things I’ve ever done in my life, and I’m really quite proud of myself for doing it. How on Earth people with long-term clinical depression can go on and achieve things is amazing, and also inspirational.

I’ve found a website offering chess tips, so I’m arming myself with some new tactics before I face Ted again on Sunday. I look forward to these games the way a child looks forward to injections, so it’ll be nice to go in feeling like I may stand a chance this time. Whatever happens, there’s the SuperBowl to enjoy on Sunday night, so that’s something I can think about while getting beaten again.

RC 5-2-10

Happy Haiku

It's light before 8
It stays light til after 5
SPRING IS ON IT'S WAY!

RC 4-2-10

First of Feb (some random things)

Ted broke new ground in chess-based humiliation yesterday. I didn’t know it was even possible to achieve checkmate in four moves, but he taught me different. I’m not sure how long I can endure these Sunday slaughterings before I leave his house crying, or stab him in the eye with a bishop.

Hannah is still denying that she misses Nathan, but she left the room in tears last night when ‘Songs Of Praise’ came on. She needs to get back with him, or get someone new, because this pining puppy act is annoying me.

I tried to buy some tickets this morning for an upcoming concert. I called the venue, who told me the only way to get them was to purchase online. I went to the website she informed me of, where I discovered you can only by them in sets of 4, for which you get charged a £4.50 ‘admin fee’ per ticket, and then £5.95 for ‘delivery charges’ putting the cost of tickets up by nearly 20%. It’s a con, and one that personally I refused to adhere to. Some student or other is bound to sneak in a camera, so I’ll wait til the concert is over, and then download grainy footage of it from YouTube.

I called Tom Scott & Co and spoke to Philippa today. It’s been several days since my ‘interview’ and I just thought it would be good to follow up and give them a gentle reminder. Philippa says that they all liked me, but Tom won’t make a final decision until next week as he wants to talk it through with his Spirit Guide.
Do I really want to work for this man??

RC 1-2-10